Murphy's Laws
How many are there out there"
Wednesday, November 12, 2008 by DrJBHL | Discussion: Community
I for one have always enjoyed the sardonic wisdom of Murphy's Laws. There appear to loads of them, corollaries and extensions too!
The rules? 1. No big 'G''ing answers, please.
2. No "Overkill" just one or two per post...gotta leave some for others, right?
3. Have fun!
To get it started: 1. Whatever can go wrong, will.
2. What ever can go wrong will, at the most inopportune time and you will be blamed.
Let the games begin!
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Reply #43 Thursday, November 13, 2008 7:59 PM
Dropped wrenches always return to the center of the vehicle unless it's a motorcycle,then it lands on the other side.
Reply #44 Thursday, November 13, 2008 10:38 PM
When you see a dog turd on the pavement you sidestep to avoid treading in it, but you invariably end up stepping on it anyway... on the way back when you've forgotten all about it and have an armful of parcels.
Reply #45 Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:22 PM
"somehow or another, I'm always screwed"
"another day in the shit parade"
"soon as you learn one OS, sure as hell, here comes another"
"does anything ever work right?"
"Damn I hate red lights and booming music"
Reply #46 Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:45 PM
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today....cos if you do it today - and like it....you can always do it again tomorrow.
Reply #47 Friday, November 14, 2008 12:21 AM
If it can go wrong, it will, and it will happen on my watch! 
Reply #48 Friday, November 14, 2008 5:31 AM
Oooooh, I've always wanted to do this.... 'til 
And now that I have... my download count will disappear.
Reply #49 Friday, November 14, 2008 6:57 AM
One for M$:
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
If someone giving you directions says at any time, "You can't miss it," be assured than you will. 
I got sooooo lost!
Reply #50 Friday, November 14, 2008 11:49 AM
UPS delivers at 3 PM everyday. Wife gets home from work at 6 PM every day. Order a new piece of computer hardware without telling her and the day it comes she will get off early or stay home sick.
Reply #51 Friday, November 14, 2008 11:58 AM
Sounds like you're in trouble mate! LOL!
Remember, the Murph said:
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
Reply #52 Friday, November 14, 2008 4:18 PM
A couple more of Murphy's Laws (as the thread starter noted, there are dozens of them):
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will go wrong first will be the one that will do the most damage
If you play with something long enough, you will surely break it
Not really anything to do with Murphy, but the follow on to the above is 'those that can't teach, teach teachers' 
Reply #53 Friday, November 14, 2008 4:40 PM
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
Reply #54 Friday, November 14, 2008 7:03 PM
If a Doc says "this might be a little uncomfortable" it will hurt like hell.
Reply #55 Friday, November 14, 2008 7:13 PM
Location is everything. When it isn't, timing is.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Reply #56 Friday, November 14, 2008 9:35 PM
If there's a zipper to catch my dick in...OUCH!... I found it.
The one and only time you have lumps in your farts you happen to be wearing white pants.. in public. 
,,, you're somewhere else entirely and lost. 
Reply #57 Saturday, November 15, 2008 7:42 AM
In honor of Starkers' zipper problems a Biblical Murphy (Moses Murphy? 
) :
"As yee sew, so shall ye rip."
Reply #58 Saturday, November 15, 2008 9:08 AM
You can bet your bottom dollar that if there's a nice pair of Okla@@Homas to be seen, I'm looking the other way. 
Reply #59 Saturday, November 15, 2008 10:00 AM
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Reply #60 Saturday, November 15, 2008 11:27 AM
Confidence? If I had confidence someone's bound to say I'm too big for my britches. 
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Reply #41 Thursday, November 13, 2008 7:02 PM
The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.