Murphy's Laws
How many are there out there"
Wednesday, November 12, 2008 by DrJBHL | Discussion: Community
I for one have always enjoyed the sardonic wisdom of Murphy's Laws. There appear to loads of them, corollaries and extensions too!
The rules? 1. No big 'G''ing answers, please.
2. No "Overkill" just one or two per post...gotta leave some for others, right?
3. Have fun!
To get it started: 1. Whatever can go wrong, will.
2. What ever can go wrong will, at the most inopportune time and you will be blamed.
Let the games begin!
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Reply #62 Saturday, November 15, 2008 12:55 PM
The one time you actually need to read the manual..... it's written in some language you dont understand.
Reply #63 Saturday, November 15, 2008 1:17 PM
You don't read the manual and your wife is home.
Reply #64 Saturday, November 15, 2008 3:12 PM
If it ain't broke....you're not trying hard enough.
Reply #65 Saturday, November 15, 2008 3:26 PM
If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.
Reply #66 Saturday, November 15, 2008 3:46 PM
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
Mother Nature is a bitch
Reply #68 Saturday, November 15, 2008 3:52 PM
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
Reply #69 Saturday, November 15, 2008 5:20 PM
In the famous words of Jack Nicholson on The Bucket List: " Never pass up the chance to go to the restroom, never waste an erection, and never trust a fart!" 
I hope that is not too risque, I cleaned it up a little.
Reply #70 Saturday, November 15, 2008 5:27 PM
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
Reply #71 Saturday, November 15, 2008 10:43 PM
A prick in the thigh is only inches away from a prick in the butt. 
Doctor: "Now nurse, please get it right this time... I want you to prick this man's boil."
Reply #72 Sunday, November 16, 2008 7:49 AM
Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
This is why the airplane factory paints perforations at the wing-fuselage joint.
Reply #73 Sunday, November 16, 2008 10:35 AM
If you open a can of worms, you'll need a bigger one to get them all back in.
Reply #74 Sunday, November 16, 2008 6:29 PM
First you say it, then you do it. OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply #75 Sunday, November 16, 2008 6:38 PM
Always wear clean underwear in case of an accident.
Never understood that one: see above!
Reply #76 Sunday, November 16, 2008 6:40 PM
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the FIRST to go wrong, and you'll be blamed.
The one time you're late, the Boss will be sitting in your office waiting for you.
Reply #77 Sunday, November 16, 2008 9:25 PM
And the one time you're tempted to pinch yer missus on the butt, you sneak up behind, do the deed and discover you've mistaken somebody else for her.
Reply #79 Monday, November 17, 2008 10:44 AM
Get drunk (I don't by the way) at a strip club and you will go home and talk in your sleep.
Reply #80 Monday, November 17, 2008 1:06 PM
And get berated severely in the morning for the lap dance and getting up on stage... and shot for leaving behind the expensive suit your wife bought for your birthday.
Yup, if it was raining hookers, I'd get washed down the gutter with a lesbian.
Or like the time it was raining money and I got washed down the gutter with a rubber cheque.
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Reply #61 Saturday, November 15, 2008 11:30 AM
Confidence? If I had confidence someone's bound to say I'm too big for my britches.
You were, once.
Good ter see yer back, Cap'n!
Murphy says: When you are ready to speak Pyrate there be none o' yer mates about ter help!