Got a Funny?
I need a laugh.....
Sunday, November 27, 2011 by RedneckDude | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
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Reply #123 Monday, January 21, 2013 11:05 PM
How do you cook toilet paper?
It's easy, you just brown it and just throw it in the pot.
Reply #124 Tuesday, January 22, 2013 10:16 AM
What rolls over a hockey puck.
A dung beetle
What eats a hockey puck from the inside out.
Baby dung beetles.
Reply #125 Thursday, January 24, 2013 1:01 AM
Which side of the chicken has the most feathers?
The outside
Reply #126 Saturday, April 13, 2013 9:08 PM
A little boy is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying his eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"
The little boy turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car -- and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."
The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
Reply #127 Saturday, April 13, 2013 9:28 PM
A little girl is sitting in church with her father watching a baptism. She watches as the priest recites the baptism service and pours water over the child's head before turning to her father and asking:
"Daddy, why are they brainwashing that baby?"
Reply #128 Saturday, April 13, 2013 11:36 PM
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes down stairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of
coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?"
he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her
husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside
him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a
shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my
daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!
*********************************************************************
[CLASSICS]
Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?” The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”
A girl brings a guy home one night. They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do "69". "What the hell is that?" asks the guy. Realizing he's inexperienced, she tries to explain, "I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine." Still not knowing what she's talking about, but not wanting to ruin the moment he agrees to try it. The second they get in to the position, she lets go a RIP-ROARING fart. "What was that for?" he asks. "Oooopppps! Sorry, lets try it again." she says. So, they get into position again, and once more she lets one loose. The guy gets up and starts to put his coat on. "Wait, where are you going?" she asks. The guy says, " If you think I'm sticking around for 67 more of those, you're crazy !!!!!
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Reply #121 Monday, January 21, 2013 11:14 AM
What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts