Mens Rules
it's about time someone spoke up.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007 by BoXXi | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to d o something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides
we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as football, cars, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men
really don't mind that? It's like camping
These are our rules
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to d o something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides
we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as football, cars, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men
really don't mind that? It's like camping
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starkers
Reply #4 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 4:33 AM
Reply #4 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 4:33 AM
1 If I suspect for one moment you are going to burst into tears during an argument....I'm going to cry first. 
ArileenDesign
Reply #6 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 4:36 AM
THANKS A LOT
Reply #6 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 4:36 AM
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
THANKS A LOT
NightTrainthedark
Reply #7 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 5:27 AM
Reply #7 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 5:27 AM
My mother sends me man bashing stuff all the time. Thnaks for some return fire. Good stuff.
Snowman
Reply #11 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 6:04 AM
Reply #11 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 6:04 AM
Funny how no female users have responded yet.....
Watch out Bryan... you might be getting too close to the truth....
Better watch your back and sleep on the couch the next couple of weeks!
oh and remember.... hide any sharp and pointy objects 
Snowman
Reply #12 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 6:05 AM
Reply #12 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 6:05 AM
Funny how no female users have responded yet.....
Spoke too soon..... hey there Jafo hehe
starkers
Reply #13 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 6:42 AM
Ah, but when it comes to gaining the upper-hand in a barney, there is no such rule ..... well there bloody well shouldn't be.
Reply #13 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 6:42 AM
This is MENS rules Starkers........ Men don't cry.
Ah, but when it comes to gaining the upper-hand in a barney, there is no such rule ..... well there bloody well shouldn't be.
NightTrainthedark
Reply #14 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 6:50 AM
You sir... are out of mantown!
Reply #14 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 6:50 AM
Ah, but when it comes to gaining the upper-hand in a barney, there is no such rule
You sir... are out of mantown!
starkers
Reply #16 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:20 AM
You sir... are out of mantown!
And so should Bill Cosby be...seem to recall it was his show where I got the idea.
Also, it was Bill Cosby who suggested that, when we find our womens underwear & nylons hanging in the shower, we men should rinse our socks and Y-fronts under the shower and replace theirs with ours.
I still think fighting fire with fire is a great strategy....turning on the waterworks first puts 'em off their guard big time.....and that's when you sneak in about going fishing with yer mates for the weekend.
Reply #16 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:20 AM
You sir... are out of mantown!
And so should Bill Cosby be...seem to recall it was his show where I got the idea.
Also, it was Bill Cosby who suggested that, when we find our womens underwear & nylons hanging in the shower, we men should rinse our socks and Y-fronts under the shower and replace theirs with ours.
I still think fighting fire with fire is a great strategy....turning on the waterworks first puts 'em off their guard big time.....and that's when you sneak in about going fishing with yer mates for the weekend.
ArileenDesign
Reply #17 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:24 AM
Maybe the answer
:
no commercials here
How you would like they answer now
Reply #17 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:24 AM
Funny how no female users have responded yet.....
Maybe the answer
:1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
don't want to hear.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
no commercials here 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
How you would like they answer now
ShelbyGT_The_Car
Reply #19 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:37 AM
Reply #19 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:37 AM
The women at work are gona love this one - they may become forum members to bash you back Boxxi?
Nice one!
SGT
Nice one!
SGT
sydneysiders
Reply #20 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:50 AM
we're just waitin' for Fairyy~.......she'll sort you lot out!......
Reply #20 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:50 AM
Funny how no female users have responded yet.....
we're just waitin' for Fairyy~.......she'll sort you lot out!...... Please login to comment and/or vote for this skin.
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Reply #1 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 3:59 AM
thank you Boxxi