Mens Rules
it's about time someone spoke up.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007 by BoXXi | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to d o something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides
we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as football, cars, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men
really don't mind that? It's like camping
These are our rules
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to d o something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides
we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as football, cars, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men
really don't mind that? It's like camping
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Fuzzy Logic
Reply #22 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:55 AM
Reply #22 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:55 AM
Men don't cry
...didn't you see the pic of what's left of my car?
Fairyy~
Reply #24 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 8:13 AM
I'm betting you can all read mine right about now...
High ^5 Sydney
Reply #24 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 8:13 AM
Funny how no female users have responded yet.....
we're just waitin' for Fairyy~.......she'll sort you lot out!......
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
I'm betting you can all read mine right about now...
High ^5 Sydney
Jafo
Reply #26 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 8:57 AM
Reply #26 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 8:57 AM
Spoke too soon..... hey there Jafo hehe
I'll have to slap you, Snow.....
mschleisner
Reply #28 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 10:17 AM
Reply #28 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 10:17 AM
If he is dead now you can poke him with a stick, if he isn't poke him anyway cause he's right those are mens rules, wonder why you guys get married in the first place? Just live with other guys? Oh you want to get married, I see...
Some of our rules:
If you are going to be seen in public with us, then
1. Are you really gonna wear that? Did you look in the mirror? O.K. then I will just wear my P.J.s, not wear make-up, or comb my hair, I hope none of your friends see us!
2. We are mind readers, and you can get up and get that beer yourself, you have two legs too. I just worked 40 hours too and I am doing dishes, making dinner and watching the kids, while you sit in that chair and watch sports.
3.Shopping is a sport when it's at Home Depot and guess who is gonna do that work, you, cause you are gonna strut around and tell me you know how to install whatever you bought, I will call the plumber, electrician, whatever after you really screw it up, and 911 to have your crazy butt transported to the hospital.
4.I have learned how to shut up but that doesn't mean I will when you are ranting while driving cause the idiot in front of you is in your way or didn't turn his/her turn signal off. I figure they know you are mad cause you keep on the horn and those gestures didn't work.
5. I guess all guys love sunday football, but my husband is a football widow, he hates it and I watch it, and arena football too. your point?
6. We know you have enough clothes, you wear the same thing all the time, that ratty shirt, and them shorts that have all the stains. We get that. We just don't want to be seen with you. You didn't dress that way when I met you, now did you?
7. When we were dating you played that understanding role game, oh now it's too much trouble, O.K. so now when you want your laundry folded, guess who is gonna fold it. I worked all week too remember?
8. The toilet: this one a no brainer: You want to pee standing up: O.K. you clean up the over-spray on the bowl and bottom of the seat, cause someone will see it.
9. You went out with the guys last night? Didn't get home till 2 a.m. WEll fine, tonight is ladies night and I am going out with the girls, I won't be home till 2 a.m. and you watch the kids, bathe them, get them to bed on time, and don't forget to let the dog out, and back in again.
Some of our rules:
If you are going to be seen in public with us, then
1. Are you really gonna wear that? Did you look in the mirror? O.K. then I will just wear my P.J.s, not wear make-up, or comb my hair, I hope none of your friends see us!
2. We are mind readers, and you can get up and get that beer yourself, you have two legs too. I just worked 40 hours too and I am doing dishes, making dinner and watching the kids, while you sit in that chair and watch sports.
3.Shopping is a sport when it's at Home Depot and guess who is gonna do that work, you, cause you are gonna strut around and tell me you know how to install whatever you bought, I will call the plumber, electrician, whatever after you really screw it up, and 911 to have your crazy butt transported to the hospital.
4.I have learned how to shut up but that doesn't mean I will when you are ranting while driving cause the idiot in front of you is in your way or didn't turn his/her turn signal off. I figure they know you are mad cause you keep on the horn and those gestures didn't work.
5. I guess all guys love sunday football, but my husband is a football widow, he hates it and I watch it, and arena football too. your point?
6. We know you have enough clothes, you wear the same thing all the time, that ratty shirt, and them shorts that have all the stains. We get that. We just don't want to be seen with you. You didn't dress that way when I met you, now did you?
7. When we were dating you played that understanding role game, oh now it's too much trouble, O.K. so now when you want your laundry folded, guess who is gonna fold it. I worked all week too remember?
8. The toilet: this one a no brainer: You want to pee standing up: O.K. you clean up the over-spray on the bowl and bottom of the seat, cause someone will see it.
9. You went out with the guys last night? Didn't get home till 2 a.m. WEll fine, tonight is ladies night and I am going out with the girls, I won't be home till 2 a.m. and you watch the kids, bathe them, get them to bed on time, and don't forget to let the dog out, and back in again.
starkers
Reply #29 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 10:19 AM
yep...and every good reason to cry.
Another....catching one's manliness in the zipper....
Now you blokes can't tell me that wouldn't bring a tear to yer eye.
Reply #29 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 10:19 AM
...didn't you see the pic of what's left of my car?
yep...and every good reason to cry.
Another....catching one's manliness in the zipper....
Now you blokes can't tell me that wouldn't bring a tear to yer eye.
mschleisner
Reply #30 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 10:32 AM
Reply #30 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 10:32 AM
Oh and by the way....
The vacuum cleaner isn't made for just women, neither is the dishwasher, washer, dryer, oven, microwave, sponge, papertowels, any cleaning product, I know this because I am the only one who knows how to start the lawnmower, edger, weedeater, blower. They have their quirks and I did figure out how to use them when you said they were broken.
And by the way, I bought a new dvd drive for the computer and installed it, what was so hard about that? I thought you said you had to call a buddy over cause that was too hard to install?
I guess you got me started, I have been married for 25 years so I know how to do everything after watching and listening to my husband, and yes (we do pay attention).
P.S. I am gonna change the oil on the car, want to watch me crawl under the car? I know you do. I'll be right out after the game, oh and don't forget to get me a beer while I am out there, got it?
The vacuum cleaner isn't made for just women, neither is the dishwasher, washer, dryer, oven, microwave, sponge, papertowels, any cleaning product, I know this because I am the only one who knows how to start the lawnmower, edger, weedeater, blower. They have their quirks and I did figure out how to use them when you said they were broken.
And by the way, I bought a new dvd drive for the computer and installed it, what was so hard about that? I thought you said you had to call a buddy over cause that was too hard to install?
I guess you got me started, I have been married for 25 years so I know how to do everything after watching and listening to my husband, and yes (we do pay attention).
P.S. I am gonna change the oil on the car, want to watch me crawl under the car? I know you do. I'll be right out after the game, oh and don't forget to get me a beer while I am out there, got it?
sydneysiders
Reply #31 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 11:22 AM
Reply #31 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 11:22 AM
^ there's passion in them there words!!..... 
Fuzzy Logic
Reply #32 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 12:49 PM
Reply #32 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 12:49 PM
A woman isn't worth crying over, but this...
Sob, sniff!
mrs_starkers
Reply #33 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 4:04 PM
ummmm, are you sure on that BoXXi? I used to tell starkers that his beer rations were cut for a week... yeah you would have cried too. 
Reply #33 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 4:04 PM
This is MENS rules Starkers........ Men don't cry.
ummmm, are you sure on that BoXXi? I used to tell starkers that his beer rations were cut for a week... yeah you would have cried too.
Browner87
Reply #34 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 4:55 PM
Reply #34 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 4:55 PM
Good on ya BoXXi
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
this goes the other way too
1. Don't tell us something more than an hour before we must do it, or we WILL forget.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
this goes the other way too
1. Don't tell us something more than an hour before we must do it, or we WILL forget.
RoseNell
Reply #35 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 5:04 PM
Reply #35 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 5:04 PM
You men may have yours rules, But us women have the KEY!!!!
Uvah
Reply #38 Wednesday, March 23, 2011 10:08 AM
Reply #38 Wednesday, March 23, 2011 10:08 AM
You men may have yours rules, But us women have the KEY!!!!
And some of us guys are real good at picking locks. 
starkers
Reply #39 Wednesday, March 23, 2011 10:34 AM
Reply #39 Wednesday, March 23, 2011 10:34 AM
You men may have yours rules, But us women have the KEY!!!!
And some of us guys are real good at picking locks
And some of us guys are real good at picking locks
In this case, me thinks, the lock is verbal and there ain't a lockpick anywhere who's gonna get past a resounding NO.
That's where a nice meal out, flowers, chocolate and a bottle or 3 of her fav wine helps break down the resistance.
The trick with the wine is, always pour bigger glasses for her and sip your half glass slowly so you don't end up with brewers droop.
Thing is, a mate of mine reckons that if you have to spend that much to "get a bit of leg-over", you might was well invest in a blow-up doll "cos there's no arguments, no headaches and they never say no... , they're also perfect passengers and never nag about your erratic driving."
DrJBHL
Reply #40 Wednesday, March 23, 2011 11:04 AM
Reply #40 Wednesday, March 23, 2011 11:04 AM
*doc wonders where Bebi is.... bwah hah hah.
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
Dressing Guide: Easy!
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Reply #21 Tuesday, August 7, 2007 7:52 AM