Forgive my emotions...
Saturday, October 11, 2003 by Angel_Wings | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
...But I have them...and at times I bloody well wish they'd leave me be and I could rest in peace...(No, not a death wish...just a wish that I could sleep at least 4 hours in one night)... I'm a walking zombie any more... If I didn't have a visit from Dr. Annie Hauser Busch now and then I'd never sleep a wink!
It's not fair.
Oh yeah, I rememember...life is not fair. *heavy sigh*
I just wish I could SLEEP damnit!
But every time I rest my exhausted head on my pillow thoughts of HIM creep up and I cry and cry... I can't skin any more...I don't have any desire to be creative... I only feel this pathetic tugging deep inside my wounded heart that urges me to not give up even though...I am a fool.
I love him too much too ever hurt him...he is a most wonderful man, you know? The kind that haunts you and you resist and resist until one day you realize he is the most perfect person on earth for you.
It's not fair.
Oh yeah, I rememember...life is not fair. *heavy sigh*
I just wish I could SLEEP damnit!
But every time I rest my exhausted head on my pillow thoughts of HIM creep up and I cry and cry... I can't skin any more...I don't have any desire to be creative... I only feel this pathetic tugging deep inside my wounded heart that urges me to not give up even though...I am a fool.
I love him too much too ever hurt him...he is a most wonderful man, you know? The kind that haunts you and you resist and resist until one day you realize he is the most perfect person on earth for you.
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eieio
Reply #2 Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:28 PM
Reply #2 Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:28 PM
Hang in there, Shmoopy. It's going to be tough for a while. I know how it is to think of someone every day, several times a day, when they are no longer there. It does get better. I remember when I realized I had gone 2 whole days without thinking of "her" and knew I was getting better. There will come a time when you can think of that person without it tearing a hole in your heart.
((((Big Hugs))))
((((Big Hugs))))
bordfryr
Reply #3 Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:34 PM
Reply #3 Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:34 PM
Shmoopy, without emotions you'd be like those weirdos in the Matrix. Cold and unfeeling. Imagine yourself like that for a moment..............
Doesn't work, does it? Hang in there. We'll get you "straightened up" yet.
Doesn't work, does it? Hang in there. We'll get you "straightened up" yet.
digital_k
Reply #4 Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:59 PM
Reply #4 Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:59 PM
I know this is gonna sound kinda sappy..but I think from what you have described, you are in a transitional period, much like the fields after harvest time, they are burned and left scarred, seemingly unusable and useless. But after time the crops once again flourish and grow, so to shall you. 
azdruid
Reply #5 Sunday, October 12, 2003 1:33 AM
Reply #5 Sunday, October 12, 2003 1:33 AM
S'okay, Shmoopy. Just intone the words "I am a skinner" into your mind by repeating them a hundred times every morning. That should remove your desire for emotions. Hey, it works for me.
Okay, I'm such a heartless cold individual that every time I watch the Matrix and they kill one of the machines, I cry out in pain for my lost cousin.
Okay, I'm a weirdo too. But I'm sure you'll get through this. Everyone has times in their life which aren't the greatest, but we all get through it. I know you can do it!
Okay, I'm such a heartless cold individual that every time I watch the Matrix and they kill one of the machines, I cry out in pain for my lost cousin.
Okay, I'm a weirdo too. But I'm sure you'll get through this. Everyone has times in their life which aren't the greatest, but we all get through it. I know you can do it!
Old_Crab
Reply #6 Sunday, October 12, 2003 3:14 AM
Reply #6 Sunday, October 12, 2003 3:14 AM
Shmoopy...right out now. If your troubles are just so deep and disturbing as you say, then you need to get professional help. Get off the damn PC and talk to a real live person who knows how to help you. >
>
Stumpy
Reply #7 Sunday, October 12, 2003 5:34 AM
Reply #7 Sunday, October 12, 2003 5:34 AM
Forget the professional help, You can push my wheelchair anytime, just pop on over
Btw, things will get better, always
Btw, things will get better, always
Styl-X Design
Reply #8 Sunday, October 12, 2003 5:50 AM
Reply #8 Sunday, October 12, 2003 5:50 AM
I have to agree, things will get better, and I know.
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Reply #9 Sunday, October 12, 2003 7:51 AM
Reply #9 Sunday, October 12, 2003 7:51 AM
I have to agree with old crab shmoopy..Have you tried to put all your thoughs and feelings in writing to get it out ...helped me then rip the pages up and throw them out
MadDeez
Reply #10 Sunday, October 12, 2003 8:49 AM
Reply #10 Sunday, October 12, 2003 8:49 AM
Hang in there, Kiddo. things do get better. i've been through it myself. You have many friends here, Shmoopy. I'm sure someboy here will be more than happy to lend a shoulder when you want or need it. Keep smiling, Kiddo
Chickie
Reply #11 Sunday, October 12, 2003 9:28 AM
Reply #11 Sunday, October 12, 2003 9:28 AM
Shmoopy, things does get better slowly. You'll heal. We all had bad relationships with boys/girls. We have to move on. I want my old boyfriend dead. He was mean to me. > I stuck it out til the end. I moved on to find another man, my husband. There's lots of guys out there. Maybe, you'll find "Mr. Right." There's no Mr. Perfect.
Ya could skin solo. You're talented artist, Shmoop. Try it & see what happens. You made wonderful WB skins & wallpapers.
Art does relax me when I'm stess out.
I hope ya feel better, Shmoopy. Time does help wounds. Your heart will heal. It'll take some time. Doesn't happen over night.
Shopping does help ya. Shop for clothes, music, or whatever. Shopping relief stress. Take your daughter with me. You & her will have fun together.
He was mean to me. > I stuck it out til the end. I moved on to find another man, my husband. There's lots of guys out there. Maybe, you'll find "Mr. Right." There's no Mr. Perfect. Ya could skin solo. You're talented artist, Shmoop. Try it & see what happens. You made wonderful WB skins & wallpapers.
Art does relax me when I'm stess out. I hope ya feel better, Shmoopy. Time does help wounds. Your heart will heal. It'll take some time. Doesn't happen over night.
Shopping does help ya. Shop for clothes, music, or whatever. Shopping relief stress. Take your daughter with me. You & her will have fun together.
Chickie
Reply #12 Sunday, October 12, 2003 10:10 AM
Reply #12 Sunday, October 12, 2003 10:10 AM
Shmoopy, sleep is very important. To me, it is. Try to think of other guys, besides HIM. There are fishes in the sea. Go out & mingle with your friends. Go to night clubs & dance up a storm. You'll have fun with your friends & family. Doing stuff with them is fun.
Go out & mingle with your friends. Go to night clubs & dance up a storm. You'll have fun with your friends & family. Doing stuff with them is fun.
Stumpy
Reply #13 Sunday, October 12, 2003 12:49 PM
Reply #13 Sunday, October 12, 2003 12:49 PM
Just don't dream of me, it will give you nightmares
Happy Dream Sweetheart
Happy Dream Sweetheart
Angel_Wings
Reply #14 Sunday, October 12, 2003 3:00 PM
Reply #14 Sunday, October 12, 2003 3:00 PM
Awwww. Thank you Pictoratus, bordfryr, digital_k, Xendre64, Old Crab, Stumpy, Styl, Red Hot, Snidely and Chickie for the advice and cheer and graciousness.
Sorry to blubber here (I swore to myself I wouldn't do it again argh)! I refuse to turn my threads into a bad 3 part mini-series.
Self-pity doesn't do me any good...I know I have to pull myself up by my boot-straps. I just wish some feelings didn't have to hurt so much. I'll be back to my annoying silly self in a month or so I imagine. I dunno what is worse though...a pathetic, teary-eyed Shmoopy or an obnoxious, hyper, overly chatty one. 
Angel_Wings smacks e-bros upside their respective heads! *smack, thwack, thump* Okay, okay...I think it's probably wise for me to stay away from the computer for a while...it just seems to cut me off from the world more and more. Well, dang it IS addictive! I tried staying off the computer for a whole week...I only lasted 2 days. I'm hopeless.
Chickie...you're such a sweetie (((BIG HUG))) I know you've had your own life stuff to deal with lately...makes mine look really silly and yet you take time out of your life to lend a kind word of support and good advice to me (((THANK YOU)))
BTW, Snidely, you meant "Somebody" not "Someboy" I presume. Sorry, that gave me a chuckle.
Angel_Wings cuddles her Happy cat (who is recovering VERY well after his last major operation) and is glad to know some of the coolest and kindest people on the net.
Sorry to blubber here (I swore to myself I wouldn't do it again argh)! I refuse to turn my threads into a bad 3 part mini-series.
Self-pity doesn't do me any good...I know I have to pull myself up by my boot-straps. I just wish some feelings didn't have to hurt so much. I'll be back to my annoying silly self in a month or so I imagine. I dunno what is worse though...a pathetic, teary-eyed Shmoopy or an obnoxious, hyper, overly chatty one. 
Angel_Wings smacks e-bros upside their respective heads! *smack, thwack, thump*
Okay, okay...I think it's probably wise for me to stay away from the computer for a while...it just seems to cut me off from the world more and more. Well, dang it IS addictive! I tried staying off the computer for a whole week...I only lasted 2 days. I'm hopeless. Chickie...you're such a sweetie (((BIG HUG))) I know you've had your own life stuff to deal with lately...makes mine look really silly and yet you take time out of your life to lend a kind word of support and good advice to me (((THANK YOU)))
BTW, Snidely, you meant "Somebody" not "Someboy" I presume.
Sorry, that gave me a chuckle. Angel_Wings cuddles her Happy cat (who is recovering VERY well after his last major operation) and is glad to know some of the coolest and kindest people on the net.
Stumpy
Reply #15 Sunday, October 12, 2003 3:10 PM
Reply #15 Sunday, October 12, 2003 3:10 PM
Whatever you do, DON'T disappear, keep at it and keep you mind off things, I'm here if you need me, at 49 years old i can offer some small advice, I'm also a great listener, Please don't go.
MadDeez
Reply #16 Sunday, October 12, 2003 4:38 PM
Reply #16 Sunday, October 12, 2003 4:38 PM
uhhhhh....yeah....i meant 'somebody'. the people in the stardock irc channel will attest to my typing prowess or lack thereof
or lack thereof
Chickie
Reply #17 Sunday, October 12, 2003 4:38 PM
Reply #17 Sunday, October 12, 2003 4:38 PM
Shmoopy (((BIG HUGS))) There was a sign in my Grampy's old horse barn. I always had this is in my mind.
"Happiness is a rich, cute cowboy." I believe a rich, cute cowboy is out there for YOU.
"Happiness is a rich, cute cowboy."
I believe a rich, cute cowboy is out there for YOU.
Angel_Wings
Reply #19 Sunday, October 12, 2003 5:17 PM
Reply #19 Sunday, October 12, 2003 5:17 PM
Snidely
Chickie...can't never get enough hugs so (((HUGS))) right back again!
Stumpy..."rich" can mean much more than monetary..."cute" can me much more than physical...
Hmm
He's rich in love...
Rich in talent...
Rich in kindness...
His "charm" makes him so cute
His cute "personality" makes him irresistable...
Love is an individual perception felt by one and to mutually share that same perception is truly divine...
Chickie...can't never get enough hugs so (((HUGS))) right back again!
Stumpy..."rich" can mean much more than monetary..."cute" can me much more than physical...
Hmm
He's rich in love...
Rich in talent...
Rich in kindness...
His "charm" makes him so cute
His cute "personality" makes him irresistable...
Love is an individual perception felt by one and to mutually share that same perception is truly divine...
Stumpy
Reply #20 Sunday, October 12, 2003 5:19 PM
Reply #20 Sunday, October 12, 2003 5:19 PM
You've just cheered me up - And we are supposed to be cheering you up
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Reply #1 Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:20 PM
There are plenty of fish in the sea...not enough "see into the fish" but you can cross that ocean when you come to it.
Ela, being I'm your male alter-ego...I hope you find some peace...I think you need to shut the computer down and find you you are before you lose yourself...