Is marraige a good idea?
Friday, September 5, 2003 by joetheblow | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
I was thinking about getting married... although I am not serious with anyone
But is it a good idea? I like it... or the idea of it anyway. It just seems so peaceful and all that one-ness.
After reading this artical I am not to sure:
http://slate.msn.com/id/2087897/
I'm so gullable.
But is it a good idea? I like it... or the idea of it anyway. It just seems so peaceful and all that one-ness.
After reading this artical I am not to sure:
http://slate.msn.com/id/2087897/
I'm so gullable.
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KarmaGirl
Reply #2 Friday, September 5, 2003 4:48 AM
Reply #2 Friday, September 5, 2003 4:48 AM
That article was awful. She made it sound like getting married and taking care of kids (OMG! You mean I have to give up some of my personal time to take care of a kid, and it will cost me *my* money!?!) as a bad thing.
I have been married for over 7 years. My husband I have been in a relationship of "constricting monogamy" for 10 years. Our relationship was the same before and after marriage (except, now we have a child who is now almost 5....which gives us a reason to buy toys and do "kid" things with no shame..).
I guess it's all how you view marriage. I saw it as making us a
"family" (especially when you have kids and all want the same last name).
I guess others see it as a trap. Only an individual can decide if being
married is right for them. But, I guess if you see it as "stifling", then
you will never be happy in a marriage no matter who you get married to
eieio
Reply #3 Friday, September 5, 2003 4:53 AM
Reply #3 Friday, September 5, 2003 4:53 AM
KG is right. I think it depends on what expectations you and your partner have about marriage. While I agree that the childhood vision of the 'white picket fence' is probably unrealistic for most, that doesn't mean that marriage is not a good fit for some. 
Valhalla
Reply #4 Friday, September 5, 2003 5:43 AM
Reply #4 Friday, September 5, 2003 5:43 AM
I sincerely hope marriage is a good thing
AS MY DAUGHTER GETS MARRIED TOMORROW !
AS MY DAUGHTER GETS MARRIED TOMORROW !
eieio
Reply #5 Friday, September 5, 2003 6:12 AM
Valhalla!
Here's to a long and fruitful union! (and many grandchildren)
Reply #5 Friday, September 5, 2003 6:12 AM
Valhalla!Here's to a long and fruitful union! (and many grandchildren)
Keila
Reply #6 Friday, September 5, 2003 7:02 AM
Reply #6 Friday, September 5, 2003 7:02 AM
Well, I would think marriage is a good idea. At least in my case, tomorrow is my husband's and my 17th anniversary.
kona0197
Reply #7 Friday, September 5, 2003 7:14 AM
Reply #7 Friday, September 5, 2003 7:14 AM
Not married yet but been with this girlfriend for a awesome 4 years....
It is worth getting married!
It is worth getting married!
Styl-X Design
Reply #8 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:14 AM
Reply #8 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:14 AM
#2 - true, the dutch tv has a really funny commercial about a little kid that becomes something like 2, and for its birthsday their parents get him a X-box, after that you see the parents smashing on the x-box controllers and the kid is sleeping
kona0197
Reply #9 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:17 AM
Reply #9 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:17 AM
I just wanted to add: isn't marriage just a peice of paper anymore? All it does is raise your taxes and all that. 
kona0197
Reply #10 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:18 AM
Reply #10 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:18 AM
If you truly love someone then it does not matter if you are or are not married...
Zodiaq~
Reply #11 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:21 AM
Reply #11 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:21 AM
Not married here but with the same girl for just over 10 years...we have a 2 year old boy.
My take...why fix it if it ain't broke
With the divorce rate close to 50% in the states...I dunno...It's a toss of a coin
I think it really comes down to what the couple believes 'Marriage' is and what it represents. Some just don't take it seriously enough...hence...they get married 5 or 6 times in a life time
My take...why fix it if it ain't broke
With the divorce rate close to 50% in the states...I dunno...It's a toss of a coin
I think it really comes down to what the couple believes 'Marriage' is and what it represents. Some just don't take it seriously enough...hence...they get married 5 or 6 times in a life time
Chef Garry
Reply #12 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:35 AM
Reply #12 Friday, September 5, 2003 8:35 AM
Been married 21 years. Generally I couldn't imagine life without my closest friend and support. However, to quote my father-in-law about his marriage, "we've never considered divorce. Murder yes, never divorce".
OTH, I was married for 6 years once before. That was not a good thing. As a Wise Old Man (tm) stated in reply 1, you gots to decide for yourself and for the reasons that work for you and her.
Valhalla: Congratulations! Do not watch Father of the Bride (Spenser Tracey or Steve Martin). At least not until it's all over and the bills are paid!
OTH, I was married for 6 years once before. That was not a good thing. As a Wise Old Man (tm) stated in reply 1, you gots to decide for yourself and for the reasons that work for you and her.
Valhalla: Congratulations! Do not watch Father of the Bride (Spenser Tracey or Steve Martin). At least not until it's all over and the bills are paid!
Valhalla
Reply #14 Friday, September 5, 2003 9:05 AM
Reply #14 Friday, September 5, 2003 9:05 AM
Ha ha. Thanks Chef Garry.
The bills have severely dented the wallet but not destroyed it
The bills have severely dented the wallet but not destroyed it
Doomgaze
Reply #15 Friday, September 5, 2003 9:30 AM
I didn't know there was shame associated with having fun?
*shrug*
Honestly, and 90% of the women I've spent time with agree, what is the real point of marriage? I mean do you really need to prove your love for each other with a ring and a peice of paper and a big party? I just honestly lack any religious affiliation or old school affiliation to any of this.
That big fat rock can get you one hell of a trip for a couple weeks.
The only engagement I've been in, we spent half the money that would have been spent on a ring on a trip to Alaska to do heli-snowboarding, and had planned on spending the other half after on an expedition cruise to Antarctica.
When we broke up I took the cash and went back to Alaska.
Reply #15 Friday, September 5, 2003 9:30 AM
| (except, now we have a child who is now almost 5....which gives us a reason to buy toys and do "kid" things with no shame..). |
I didn't know there was shame associated with having fun?
*shrug*
Honestly, and 90% of the women I've spent time with agree, what is the real point of marriage? I mean do you really need to prove your love for each other with a ring and a peice of paper and a big party? I just honestly lack any religious affiliation or old school affiliation to any of this.
That big fat rock can get you one hell of a trip for a couple weeks.
The only engagement I've been in, we spent half the money that would have been spent on a ring on a trip to Alaska to do heli-snowboarding, and had planned on spending the other half after on an expedition cruise to Antarctica.
When we broke up I took the cash and went back to Alaska.
eieio
Reply #16 Friday, September 5, 2003 11:11 AM
Reply #16 Friday, September 5, 2003 11:11 AM
Marriage doesn't necessarily mean 'a piece of paper' from the state. People were 'married' long before there was 'official status'.
I think marriage is a commitment.
I think marriage is a commitment.
wombat_1
Reply #17 Friday, September 5, 2003 11:30 AM
Reply #17 Friday, September 5, 2003 11:30 AM
Marriage is a 'good thing' .... I keep trying .... third time has to be lucky.
IPlural
Reply #18 Friday, September 5, 2003 11:32 AM
Reply #18 Friday, September 5, 2003 11:32 AM
For my wife and I, marriage was just an extension of our relationship beyond all the feelings and commitment. It was a Tax Break !!
Doomgaze
Reply #19 Friday, September 5, 2003 11:55 AM
so why do you need a ring and a peice of paper and a ceremony and whatnot to prove the commitment?
Reply #19 Friday, September 5, 2003 11:55 AM
| I think marriage is a commitment. |
so why do you need a ring and a peice of paper and a ceremony and whatnot to prove the commitment?
IPlural
Reply #20 Friday, September 5, 2003 12:13 PM
Reply #20 Friday, September 5, 2003 12:13 PM
We don't...
My wife is the something that was missing throughout my life. I know it sounds corny but she does complete me in many different ways.
Some of which are my abilities to trust, feel anything other than fear or anger and not be so negative about myself.
On the flip side she feels the protection, love, and everything she missed out on throughout her life.
We are also best friends, we do not have to speak to know what they other is thinking at times even when we find that it is something totally not connected with what is taking place at the moment.
for instance: We are driving down the road the other night and not talking about anything, listening to a CD. Out of the blue I think " He's brining her" and I mumbled it, my wife laughs and says I thought so but wasn't sure. Then comments on how weird that was, because she was thinking about Justin coming home on the 11th on leave.
He is brining his girl friend home with him to meet us and she had been thinking about it while driving.
corny, I know, but it happens...
For me a relationship involves only what one is willing to put into it. I can not make, force, push, wish my wife to do anything, or to love or care for me as I would have her. I can only provide to her of myself those things I am willing to give and expect nothing more than she is able to in return.
We are just lucky that we worked through the things of the past, are working through the things of the present and are willing to face the things of the future and are not able to even begin to envision doing it without the other.
Know what's weird, we're my Grand Parents in training
Gramps and Gram spent 60 years together before Gramps died and she is still Gram but gets a wishful look at times seeing the past.
Marriage is a public display/announcement of commitment and also social insurance along with being a Tax Break
My wife is the something that was missing throughout my life. I know it sounds corny but she does complete me in many different ways.
Some of which are my abilities to trust, feel anything other than fear or anger and not be so negative about myself.
On the flip side she feels the protection, love, and everything she missed out on throughout her life.
We are also best friends, we do not have to speak to know what they other is thinking at times even when we find that it is something totally not connected with what is taking place at the moment.
for instance: We are driving down the road the other night and not talking about anything, listening to a CD. Out of the blue I think " He's brining her" and I mumbled it, my wife laughs and says I thought so but wasn't sure. Then comments on how weird that was, because she was thinking about Justin coming home on the 11th on leave.
He is brining his girl friend home with him to meet us and she had been thinking about it while driving.
corny, I know, but it happens...
For me a relationship involves only what one is willing to put into it. I can not make, force, push, wish my wife to do anything, or to love or care for me as I would have her. I can only provide to her of myself those things I am willing to give and expect nothing more than she is able to in return.
We are just lucky that we worked through the things of the past, are working through the things of the present and are willing to face the things of the future and are not able to even begin to envision doing it without the other.
Know what's weird, we're my Grand Parents in training
Gramps and Gram spent 60 years together before Gramps died and she is still Gram but gets a wishful look at times seeing the past.
Marriage is a public display/announcement of commitment and also social insurance along with being a Tax Break
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Reply #1 Friday, September 5, 2003 4:31 AM