Inappropriate behavior

Lit the fire

Wednesday, November 29, 2017 by Uvah | Discussion: Community

I'm sorry, but sometimes I just gotta get things off my chest. So I'm gonna rant.

Ever since this todo with Weinstein or whatever his name is, all those allegations of improper behavior has IMO spiraled out of control. I got the new charger for my laptop and opening Chrome with Bing as my new search engine, I saw that Matt Lauer got fired from NBC for the same reason. What the hell does that say for our culture? Two dudes in Thailand bared their butts in front of a Holy Site and were promptly arrested by Thailand police. Now they want US help to get them out of it. (Since then I saw another article saying they were only fined). Such disrespect was unheard of when I was growing up. 

In Brooklyn during the late fifties and sixties my neighborhood was as diverse as it gets. Jewish, Latino, Italian, African Americans. It ran the gamut. I had an uncle whose name was Walter. Not my real uncle but my dad's best friend. He was an African American and I looked up to him. Point being there was respect across the board. We didn't make exceptions. It didn't matter who you were or where you came from or what faith you followed, you were just another person. 

This world has gone to shit and I hate like hell to imagine what our children will inherit. Rant over.  

First Previous Page 4 of 4 Next Last
Uvah
Reply #61 Saturday, December 16, 2017 8:26 AM

When you consider how things are going of late we could soon be looking at the first american dictatorship. Fake news, alternate facts, words that could get you jailed, discrimination against women, minorities and what have you. Open your mouth and get fired, ostracized, black listed et al. 

If this is considered too political please remove it.

epinelya
Reply #62 Saturday, December 16, 2017 10:29 AM

Going too much to extremes is always bad and hasn't ever proven to lead to anything meaningful - it's the same with behavior. And children should be taught to have certain common sense from their parents. Needless to say, when you talked here about this sexist behavior from the women...well, for men it's kinda different. You don't feel threatened by this. But women do...they feel vulnerable when men are hitting on them and often feel scared for their life. 

As a woman, I have lived for a couple months in a country, where men were used to cat call a lot. It happened to me that I felt bad just to walk on the street because they were stopping their cars to talk to me and I felt threatened by them. Sometimes I ended up running through the small back streets to avoid them. And kept looking back to make sure no one follows me home. It was not pleasant experience at all! And the funny thing, when I went somewhere with my husband, nothing like that ever happened.  

starkers
Reply #63 Saturday, December 16, 2017 11:05 PM

epinelya

Needless to say, when you talked here about this sexist behavior from the women...well, for men it's kinda different. You don't feel threatened by this. But women do...they feel vulnerable when men are hitting on them and often feel scared for their life.

Some men may welcome unsolicited sexual advances, but not all.  In fact I know a couple, who I would call shy men, and they would absolutely shrink inside themselves if they were sexually harassed by a woman... or man.  They are not go-getters in that respect and do not expect it to be done to them.  Both are happily married nowadays, and the prospect of unwanted sexual advances would horrify them even more, cos both are loyal to their wives.

epinelya

As a woman, I have lived for a couple months in a country, where men were used to cat call a lot. It happened to me that I felt bad just to walk on the street because they were stopping their cars to talk to me and I felt threatened by them. Sometimes I ended up running through the small back streets to avoid them. And kept looking back to make sure no one follows me home. It was not pleasant experience at all! And the funny thing, when I went somewhere with my husband, nothing like that ever happened.

I may have been a bit sassy in my younger days and brimming with testosterone, wolf whistling and all that stuff, but I grew out of that sooner rather than later.  With growing maturity and wisdom, becoming a father for the first time, I began to take my relationships more seriously, so by the time I was 24 I had changed from being a wolf whistling lout to being far more conservative.  It wasn't that I stopped admiring women, because yeah, I still looked, but I did it quietly and there was no thought of straying because I valued my wife and marriage.... my son.

At 64 I still admire beautiful women of all ages, from young ones in their teens to women my own age and older, but it's not desire or sexually motivated, not like it may have been in my younger years.  Even then, though, there were women who I thought were beautiful, both on the inside and out, but I viewed them in a different light because they were friends, somebody I highly respected or they were in a relationship with someone else.

At the end of the day it comes down to respect for our fellow human beings, male and female alike, especially those we love... or are supposed to.  Sadly, not all human beings see it that way and behave like predators hunting for prey, and married or not, they're always on the prowl for more sexual conquests, regardless of at whose expense they come.  Mans inhumanity to man is appalling at the best of times, but when powerful people use their power and influence to inflict bad intent on the unwilling it is even more appalling.  Evil is probably the correct term here.

Sex is something that should be shared between two loving and consenting adults,  Anything less is a primal urge gone wrong... IMHO.

Iben
Reply #64 Saturday, December 16, 2017 11:44 PM

There is a large variety of behavior not just sex harassment that goes on all

day with humans. Time to realize it isn't going away.

I could complain all day.

It is the reason the universe exists,

There is always a catch.

Just try to avoid bad situations.

starkers
Reply #65 Sunday, December 17, 2017 1:15 AM


There is a large variety of behavior not just sex harassment that goes on all

day with humans. Time to realize it isn't going away.

So true!  There is the whole gamut of inappropriate behaviour going on each day.... from the fairly mild to the downright atrocious,  However,  we as a society should not have to tolerate and/or ignore it.  We need to do better and clean up our acts.  Now that doesn't necessarily mean that the good and decent need to behave better, but that they, the pillars of community get together and make these predators and the unlawful responsible for their actions.  Orright, it mightn't be the correct wording, but:  For evil to prosper, it takes otherwise good people to sit on their hands and do nothing.


Just try to avoid bad situations.

And bad people.  The only time I acknowledge the existence of bad people is so I can avoid them.   If I don't like, trust or respect somebody, then I avoid them like the plague and will have nothing to do with them.  I have enough complications in my life with health issues and the like, so people I deem unfit are simply not welcome in my world.  My philosophy is: the more you avoid bad people, the less trouble you invite into your life, and thus far it has worked pretty well for me. 

Okay, I can't avoid the bad behaviours of government and big business, but I'm not backwards in coming forward when it comes to letting them know how I feel and why.  It mightn't always do any good, but I've gotten replies to various complaints and some promised to do better.  Thing is, it takes more than a lone stand here and there to force change, and that's why predators, bad and evil.... corruption in business and government continue to thrive... because otherwise good people continue to sit on their hands and do nothing.

Uvah
Reply #66 Sunday, December 17, 2017 8:00 AM

   It isn't so much that some sit on their hands and do nothing, its more like they fear the response. Whistleblowers are ostracized, belittled and sometimes jailed. Who would believe someone at the bottom of the ladder when that person complains about abuse by a higher up. I once worked at a clock factory building digital time systems. A new hire talked the boss into buying her a new meter. He spent 60 bucks on this meter and after a few days it disappeared. She accused me of stealing it. Thing is I had several meters of my own and none of them cost that much and did everything her expensive meter did. One I kept at work and three I kept at home. A supervisor who once complained that I worked too fast and 'made him look bad', took her side. Needless to say my employment didn't last much longer. Not so much due to her nonsense but more due to my taking on more than I could chew. I was going to school for computers and commuting back and forth was costing me a fortune. It didn't help that my car was a rolling disaster looking for a place to happen and it did, several times. On the day I told the boss that I had to move on I got a bit of a shock. He didn't side with the new hire but with me and offered me a raise. I still kick myself for that decision. I had been with the company for four years and really didn't want to leave but life had other ideas. It wasn't long after that that the bottom fell out and ten years later I am where I am through no ones fault but my own. But that's a story best left in the past.  

   So the abuse not only comes from high up but also from the bottom, not by a male but from a female. Attitudes change and people look at you differently. Today I couldn't care less about such people. If they can't get where they want to go on merit but use what they have in the way of physical attributes then they get what they deserve. At any rate I look back on all that as a life lesson. I consider myself better off today despite all the setbacks. I learned a lot and I'm in the process of putting what I learned to good use. I decided to get back into something I hadn't done in nearly forty years. That though is for another thread. 

starkers
Reply #67 Sunday, December 17, 2017 6:34 PM


It isn't so much that some sit on their hands and do nothing, its more like they fear the response. Whistleblowers are ostracized, belittled and sometimes jailed.

I wasn't talking so much about individuals, rather the community sitting on its hands doing nothing.  I've too often heard the neighbourhood chatter where 'so n' so did such and such to this one and that one', yet none of them were ever willing to stand up to be counted.  I recall at one neighbourhood meeting where we were all there to discuss doing something about the hoons tearing up our streets. 

Everybody agreed that something had to be done, but nobody was willing to act on it.  I eventually stood up and said I'd make the first move and contact the authorities, etc, but that I'd need the backing of everyone there for it to make a difference.  Well I went to the police and to the local council to put in place some speed traps and deterrents.   I got some positive responses, but as usual, the mouthy ones who were at the original meeting demanding action were noticeably absent when the time came for police and council members to address the issues with everyone at another  public meeting.  Needless to say the whole thing was a failure.

Put simply, there was a lack of public support and the relevant authorities deemed it far too costly to implement speed trap measures and additional police patrols on the word of one man.  That's right, I was the only person from the neighbourhood at the second meeting.... just me, the cops and members of council, and that's where it died. 

Anyway, that was it for me and I moved, leaving a bunch of squabbling and untrustworthy neighbours to continue living in the turmoil that they in part helped to create through their own inaction.   And that's what I'm basically saying, is that help and action from the authorities is more likely with the full support of fellow complainants.  Doing it on one's own is fraught with danger and risks, as I discovered.  So yes, it IS about the good getting together and NOT doing nothing.

epinelya
Reply #68 Tuesday, January 2, 2018 6:58 AM

Sorry for not coming to chat earlier - you know what holidays with kids are like .

@Starkers has a good point. Similar thing happened to me - and it's always those mouthy ones, who only seldom take action. Work is usually done by those who are quiet and more straight to the point. After all that's how even politics work, isn't it?!

 

DaveBax
Reply #69 Tuesday, January 2, 2018 7:49 AM

epinelya

Work is usually done by those who are quiet and more straight to the point. After all that's how even politics work, isn't it?!

That explains how very little is done in general.

 

starkers
Reply #70 Tuesday, January 2, 2018 8:31 PM

DaveBax

That explains how very little is done in general.

Without getting political, government is effective at being ineffective.... like when they form a committee to decide whether they should form a committee to look into the facts and decide whether they should form a committee to deliberate upon the findings of the previous committee before forming an action committee to deal with the issues already forgotten about.

Please login to comment and/or vote for this skin.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

  • Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums and downloading skins.
  • Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
  • Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
  • It's simple, and FREE!



web-wc01