Messageboard Joke Marathon
Sunday, January 19, 2003 by Mr_Ph00ey2u | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Ok...bring on your best or worst but leave everyone laughing 
Joke Rulez
1. Let's keep them PG. WC is a Family Place.
2. Links to Funny Pics or Flash files are welcome.
3. Throwing fruit and veggies at bad jokes is encouraged!
Joke Rulez
1. Let's keep them PG. WC is a Family Place.
2. Links to Funny Pics or Flash files are welcome.
3. Throwing fruit and veggies at bad jokes is encouraged!
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Keila
Reply #63 Monday, January 20, 2003 4:41 PM
Reply #63 Monday, January 20, 2003 4:41 PM
A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told
her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying
"God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and goodbye
grandpa."
The father said, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the
thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange
coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her
prayers, which went like this: "God bless mommy, God bless daddy and
good-bye grandma. Next day the grandmother died.
My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other
side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard
her
say "God bless mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. Couldn't sleep all night and got up
at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all
day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could
get by until midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so
instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late,
what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just
spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what
happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch."
her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying
"God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and goodbye
grandpa."
The father said, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the
thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange
coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her
prayers, which went like this: "God bless mommy, God bless daddy and
good-bye grandma. Next day the grandmother died.
My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other
side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard
her
say "God bless mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. Couldn't sleep all night and got up
at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all
day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could
get by until midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so
instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late,
what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just
spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what
happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch."
werewolf
Reply #65 Monday, January 20, 2003 4:45 PM
Reply #65 Monday, January 20, 2003 4:45 PM
AARRghh! I got suckered on that one It's a good one.
It's a good one. 
Keila
Reply #69 Monday, January 20, 2003 4:55 PM
Reply #69 Monday, January 20, 2003 4:55 PM
Okee-Dokee, by the way I know some of these are old but I have not saved any jokes for a while..
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of
Chicago for a vacation in Key West Florida.
His wife was on a business trip that was ending
the next day and planned to fly directly to Key West
to meet him, so they could have more time together
during their vacation.
When he arrived at his hotel in Florida, he decided
to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the
piece of paper on which he had written her company
e-mail address, he did his best to type it from memory.
Unfortunately, he did not get it exactly right and
the message was routed instead to a preachers wife,
whose husband had just passed away earlier that week.
When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took
one look at her monitor, let out a blood curdling scream
and passed out in a dead faint.
The woman's daughter having heard the scream and the
loud thud, rushed into the room. There she saw her
mother lying on the floor and the following message on the computer screen:
MY DARLING WIFE:
JUST CHECKED IN, EVERYTHING IS PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
LOOKING FORWARD TO US BEING TOGETHER AGAIN.
YOUR LOVING HUSBAND
P.S. It sure is hot down here.
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of
Chicago for a vacation in Key West Florida.
His wife was on a business trip that was ending
the next day and planned to fly directly to Key West
to meet him, so they could have more time together
during their vacation.
When he arrived at his hotel in Florida, he decided
to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the
piece of paper on which he had written her company
e-mail address, he did his best to type it from memory.
Unfortunately, he did not get it exactly right and
the message was routed instead to a preachers wife,
whose husband had just passed away earlier that week.
When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took
one look at her monitor, let out a blood curdling scream
and passed out in a dead faint.
The woman's daughter having heard the scream and the
loud thud, rushed into the room. There she saw her
mother lying on the floor and the following message on the computer screen:
MY DARLING WIFE:
JUST CHECKED IN, EVERYTHING IS PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
LOOKING FORWARD TO US BEING TOGETHER AGAIN.
YOUR LOVING HUSBAND
P.S. It sure is hot down here.
Keila
Reply #71 Monday, January 20, 2003 5:01 PM
Reply #71 Monday, January 20, 2003 5:01 PM
A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous
Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while
he was
gone. A few days later, he received this report:
Most Honorable Sir:
You leave house.
I watch house.
He come to house. I watch.
He and she leave house. I follow.
He and she go in hotel. I climb tree.
I look in window.
He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip she. She strip he.
He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall out of tree.
I not see.
No Fee,
Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while
he was
gone. A few days later, he received this report:
Most Honorable Sir:
You leave house.
I watch house.
He come to house. I watch.
He and she leave house. I follow.
He and she go in hotel. I climb tree.
I look in window.
He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip she. She strip he.
He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall out of tree.
I not see.
No Fee,
werewolf
Reply #75 Monday, January 20, 2003 5:11 PM
Reply #75 Monday, January 20, 2003 5:11 PM
it's going ok all things considered..Thanks. I'm trying to find a joke about some robins, but I can't find it...something like this.
Two vultures are hanging out in a tree waiting for something good to eat. In a while, 4 robins come out in the sun to warm up...The vultures swoop down and gobble them up. One vulture says to the other "Man, I love baskin robins"
yeesh...
Two vultures are hanging out in a tree waiting for something good to eat. In a while, 4 robins come out in the sun to warm up...The vultures swoop down and gobble them up. One vulture says to the other "Man, I love baskin robins"
yeesh...
Keila
Reply #76 Monday, January 20, 2003 5:14 PM
Reply #76 Monday, January 20, 2003 5:14 PM
And you too elvee, although I don't remember where you are so evening my be a bit off.
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Reply #61 Monday, January 20, 2003 4:38 PM
Let me see what else I have.