Messageboard Joke Marathon
Sunday, January 19, 2003 by Mr_Ph00ey2u | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Ok...bring on your best or worst but leave everyone laughing 
Joke Rulez
1. Let's keep them PG. WC is a Family Place.
2. Links to Funny Pics or Flash files are welcome.
3. Throwing fruit and veggies at bad jokes is encouraged!
Joke Rulez
1. Let's keep them PG. WC is a Family Place.
2. Links to Funny Pics or Flash files are welcome.
3. Throwing fruit and veggies at bad jokes is encouraged!
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Kimbabe
Reply #642 Sunday, February 23, 2003 7:01 PM
Reply #642 Sunday, February 23, 2003 7:01 PM
Mr Xaltec! You tickle me!
Ph00ey blushes??
A man's car breaks down right in front of a farm and he's trying to fix it when he hears a voice coming behind him, "You have water in the gas tank." The man turns around and all he sees is a cow from the farm.
He goes back to his car and again the same voice says, "You have water in the gas tank." The man turns around again and he sees the cow but this time the voice came again but it's from the cow, "You have water in the gas tank."
The man is shocked so he knocks on the door of the farmer's house. When the farmer answers the door the man says, "The cow talked to me and said I had water in my gas tank. He can talk?"
The farmer replied, "Ignore him, the cow doesn't know a thing about cars."
*Kim*
Ph00ey blushes??
A man's car breaks down right in front of a farm and he's trying to fix it when he hears a voice coming behind him, "You have water in the gas tank." The man turns around and all he sees is a cow from the farm.
He goes back to his car and again the same voice says, "You have water in the gas tank." The man turns around again and he sees the cow but this time the voice came again but it's from the cow, "You have water in the gas tank."
The man is shocked so he knocks on the door of the farmer's house. When the farmer answers the door the man says, "The cow talked to me and said I had water in my gas tank. He can talk?"
The farmer replied, "Ignore him, the cow doesn't know a thing about cars."
*Kim*
Xaltec
Reply #643 Monday, February 24, 2003 6:29 PM
Reply #643 Monday, February 24, 2003 6:29 PM
Kimbabe? I tickle you?? o000o! 
This could be my lucky day!! hehehe
This could be my lucky day!! hehehe
Xaltec
Reply #644 Monday, February 24, 2003 6:37 PM
Reply #644 Monday, February 24, 2003 6:37 PM
A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar.
They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.
Then the American says, "Yeah,that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!"
They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.
Then the American says, "Yeah,that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!"
Xaltec
Reply #645 Monday, February 24, 2003 6:38 PM
Reply #645 Monday, February 24, 2003 6:38 PM
An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender.
He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.
The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips.
The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips.
The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.
The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times.
By the way, where is your restroom?"
The bartender quickly replies -,
"The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."
...Hey... I'm an ex bar manager... I can understand the guys pain!!
He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.
The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips.
The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips.
The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.
The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times.
By the way, where is your restroom?"
The bartender quickly replies -,
"The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."
...Hey... I'm an ex bar manager... I can understand the guys pain!!
Xaltec
Reply #646 Monday, February 24, 2003 6:40 PM
Reply #646 Monday, February 24, 2003 6:40 PM
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.
The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.
The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.
Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?"
"I haven't got any money!"
The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.
The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.
Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?"
"I haven't got any money!"
Mr_Ph00ey2u
Reply #647 Monday, February 24, 2003 8:59 PM
Reply #647 Monday, February 24, 2003 8:59 PM
Mr. Xaltec..I have to admit...you can give me a run for the money with the jokes! I tip my hat to you!
More Hospital humor...You getting these Wom & Fuzzy?
Two little kids were in a hospital laying next to each other. The first kid leaned over and asked, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid said," I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid said, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a piece of cake!"
The second kid then asked, "What are you in here for?"
The first kid responded, "Well, I'm here for a circumcision."
The second kid said, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"
More Hospital humor...You getting these Wom & Fuzzy?
Two little kids were in a hospital laying next to each other. The first kid leaned over and asked, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid said," I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid said, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a piece of cake!"
The second kid then asked, "What are you in here for?"
The first kid responded, "Well, I'm here for a circumcision."
The second kid said, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"
Mr_Ph00ey2u
Reply #648 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:17 PM
Reply #648 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:17 PM
85 Year Old Patient and the Jar
An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 85-year-old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the day he received it.
The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. Heck, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't open that jar!"
What were you thinking??
An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 85-year-old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the day he received it.
The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. Heck, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't open that jar!"
What were you thinking??
Mr_Ph00ey2u
Reply #649 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:18 PM
Reply #649 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:18 PM
You know you're a nurse if......
You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.
You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.
Your sense of humor seems to get more warped each year.
You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.
You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock
Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.
When asked, What color is the patient's diarrhea?, you show them your shoes.
Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing to you than he can.
You carry spare meds in your pocket rather than wait for the pharmacy to deliver.
You refuse to watch ER because it's too realistic and it triggers flashbacks.
You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.
You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.
Your sense of humor seems to get more warped each year.
You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.
You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock
Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.
When asked, What color is the patient's diarrhea?, you show them your shoes.
Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing to you than he can.
You carry spare meds in your pocket rather than wait for the pharmacy to deliver.
You refuse to watch ER because it's too realistic and it triggers flashbacks.
Mr_Ph00ey2u
Reply #650 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:22 PM
Reply #650 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:22 PM
Great Lines From Job Evaluations.....
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard was not looking.
A room temperature IQ.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it together.
A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
Bright as Alaska in December.
One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
Fell out of the family tree.
I think these guys work for me!
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard was not looking.
A room temperature IQ.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it together.
A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
Bright as Alaska in December.
One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
Fell out of the family tree.
I think these guys work for me!
Mr_Ph00ey2u
Reply #651 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:41 PM
Reply #651 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:41 PM
Ok a quick update on the Joke Marathon rulez so no one gets into trouble
Ok...bring on your best or worst but leave everyone laughing
Joke Rulez
1. Let's keep them PG. WC is a Family Place.
2. No racist jokes or the like!
3. Links to Funny Pics or Flash files are welcome.
4. Use your common sense for what's appropriate...please.
5. Throwing fruit and veggies at bad jokes is encouraged!
This has been a public service announcement, we now return to our regular programming.
Ok...bring on your best or worst but leave everyone laughing
Joke Rulez
1. Let's keep them PG. WC is a Family Place.
2. No racist jokes or the like!
3. Links to Funny Pics or Flash files are welcome.
4. Use your common sense for what's appropriate...please.
5. Throwing fruit and veggies at bad jokes is encouraged!
This has been a public service announcement, we now return to our regular programming.
Peff
Reply #652 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:49 PM
Reply #652 Monday, February 24, 2003 9:49 PM
Two dogs meet at the vets...
Dog1 - So, what are you in here for?
Dog2 - Not anything good, for sure. You see, my master was planning a feast yesterday and when I saw all that food on the table, I just couldn't resist -- I ate everything. I think my master is going to put me to sleep....What are you in here for?
Dog1 - Well, my master was taking a shower. She dropped the soap, and even though I'm a dog and she's human, I couldn't resist the animal urge - so I mounted her.
Dog2 - Ouch...so she's getting you put to sleep too, huh?
Dog1 - No...just getting my nails trimmed...
Dog1 - So, what are you in here for?
Dog2 - Not anything good, for sure. You see, my master was planning a feast yesterday and when I saw all that food on the table, I just couldn't resist -- I ate everything. I think my master is going to put me to sleep....What are you in here for?
Dog1 - Well, my master was taking a shower. She dropped the soap, and even though I'm a dog and she's human, I couldn't resist the animal urge - so I mounted her.
Dog2 - Ouch...so she's getting you put to sleep too, huh?
Dog1 - No...just getting my nails trimmed...
IPlural
Reply #653 Tuesday, February 25, 2003 3:15 AM
Reply #653 Tuesday, February 25, 2003 3:15 AM
>Hillbilly Duck Hunter
>A hillbilly went hunting one day in Oklahoma and
>bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his
>pickup truck and was about to drive home when he
>was confronted by an ornery game warden who
>didn't like hillbillies.
>The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show
>his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out
>a valid Oklahoma hunting license. The game warden
>looked at the license, then reached over and
>picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and
>said "This duck ain't from Oklahoma. This is a
>Kansas duck. You got a Kansas huntin' license,
>boy?"
>The hillbilly reached into his wallet and
>produced a Kansas hunting license. The game
>warden looked at it, then reached over and
>grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and
>said "This ain't no Kansas duck. This duck's from
>Arkansas. You got a Arkansas license?" The
>hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an
>Arkansas hunting license. The warden then reached
>over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its
>butt, and said
>This ain't no Arkansas duck.
>This here duck's from South Carolina. You got a
>South Carolina huntin' license?"
>Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and
>brought out a South Carolina hunting license. The
>game warden was extremely frustrated at this
>point, and he yelled at the hillbilly "Just where
>the hell are you from?"
>The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped
>his pants, and said
>A hillbilly went hunting one day in Oklahoma and
>bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his
>pickup truck and was about to drive home when he
>was confronted by an ornery game warden who
>didn't like hillbillies.
>The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show
>his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out
>a valid Oklahoma hunting license. The game warden
>looked at the license, then reached over and
>picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and
>said "This duck ain't from Oklahoma. This is a
>Kansas duck. You got a Kansas huntin' license,
>boy?"
>The hillbilly reached into his wallet and
>produced a Kansas hunting license. The game
>warden looked at it, then reached over and
>grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and
>said "This ain't no Kansas duck. This duck's from
>Arkansas. You got a Arkansas license?" The
>hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an
>Arkansas hunting license. The warden then reached
>over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its
>butt, and said
>This ain't no Arkansas duck.
>This here duck's from South Carolina. You got a
>South Carolina huntin' license?"
>Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and
>brought out a South Carolina hunting license. The
>game warden was extremely frustrated at this
>point, and he yelled at the hillbilly "Just where
>the hell are you from?"
>The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped
>his pants, and said
Kimbabe
Reply #655 Tuesday, February 25, 2003 11:42 AM
Reply #655 Tuesday, February 25, 2003 11:42 AM
Things To Ponder.....
Birthdays are good for you: the more you have the longer you live.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
*Kim*
Birthdays are good for you: the more you have the longer you live.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
*Kim*
Xaltec
Reply #656 Tuesday, February 25, 2003 5:33 PM
Reply #656 Tuesday, February 25, 2003 5:33 PM
GI Jane leaves the Forces after an honourable discharge due to being shot in action 3 times.
Try as they might the doctors where unable to remove the bullets tho...
Years go by and jane has a family. Two girls and a boy..
One day the youngest girl comes running down to her mom.. "Mommy..." she yells, "I was taking a whizz and this fell out!" she says, holding up a bullet.
Now the doctors had told jane that this could happen as they couldn't remove the bullets at the time.
"That's ok honey," Jane said, and went on to tell her daughter the story..
A couple of days later the older girl came running to her mom...
"Mom..." she sobbed, "I just started my period and this," She held up a bullet, "came out!"
"That's ok my darling" Says Jane, then tells her the story..
A couple of weeks go by when suddenly the boy comes running to his mom with a look of horror on his face...
"It's ok honey" says jane "I'm guessing you was in the bathroom sitting on the john and a bullet came out?"
"No," He cries, "I was in my room J**king off, and shot the cat!!!"
Try as they might the doctors where unable to remove the bullets tho...
Years go by and jane has a family. Two girls and a boy..
One day the youngest girl comes running down to her mom.. "Mommy..." she yells, "I was taking a whizz and this fell out!" she says, holding up a bullet.
Now the doctors had told jane that this could happen as they couldn't remove the bullets at the time.
"That's ok honey," Jane said, and went on to tell her daughter the story..
A couple of days later the older girl came running to her mom...
"Mom..." she sobbed, "I just started my period and this," She held up a bullet, "came out!"
"That's ok my darling" Says Jane, then tells her the story..
A couple of weeks go by when suddenly the boy comes running to his mom with a look of horror on his face...
"It's ok honey" says jane "I'm guessing you was in the bathroom sitting on the john and a bullet came out?"
"No," He cries, "I was in my room J**king off, and shot the cat!!!"
Kimbabe
Reply #657 Wednesday, February 26, 2003 12:13 PM
Reply #657 Wednesday, February 26, 2003 12:13 PM
Mr Xaltec!
I didn't get any jokes today, sorry!
*Kim*
I didn't get any jokes today, sorry!
*Kim*
Mr_Ph00ey2u
Reply #658 Wednesday, February 26, 2003 8:37 PM
Reply #658 Wednesday, February 26, 2003 8:37 PM
Slow joke day, Kim? Hopefully Xaltec can keep things hoppin' up while I'm busy
Mothers can sometimes be quite remarkable....
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for twenty years she served the family nothing but leftovers...
The original meal has never been found.
Hopefully Xaltec can keep things hoppin' up while I'm busy Mothers can sometimes be quite remarkable....
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for twenty years she served the family nothing but leftovers...
The original meal has never been found.
Kimbabe
Reply #659 Thursday, February 27, 2003 11:37 AM Ph00ey!
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T!.....
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
Do I look like a people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
*Kim*
Reply #659 Thursday, February 27, 2003 11:37 AM
Ph00ey!THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T!.....
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
Do I look like a people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
*Kim*
Xaltec
Reply #660 Thursday, February 27, 2003 3:35 PM
Reply #660 Thursday, February 27, 2003 3:35 PM
Ok... so it's down to me n Kim to keep em coming huh?
Well... here's one offering for today....
The Princess's Problem
Once apon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess.
But there was a problem,
Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what,
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything would melt!
Because of this men where affraid of her.
Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. what could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians.
One wizard told the king "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt then she will be cured"
The king was over joyed and came up with a plan.
The next day he help a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the kings wealth.
Three young princes (always princes, you ever notice that? never a pauper or a leper!) took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a sword of the finest steel.
But, alas, once the princes touched it, it melted away.
The second prince brought diamonds. He thought that diamond was the hardest substance known to man and would not melt. But, sadly for him, they did!
The third prince approached, he told the princess, "put you hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red!
She felt something hard, she held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!
The king was overjoyed. Everyone in the kingdom was overjoyed.
The couple where married that afternoon, and lived happily ever after.!!
Question: What was in the princes pants??
Scroll down for the answer
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An M&M of course!
They melt in your mouth not your hand!
What where you thinking you pervert!
Well... here's one offering for today....
The Princess's Problem
Once apon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess.
But there was a problem,
Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what,
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything would melt!
Because of this men where affraid of her.
Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. what could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians.
One wizard told the king "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt then she will be cured"
The king was over joyed and came up with a plan.
The next day he help a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the kings wealth.
Three young princes (always princes, you ever notice that? never a pauper or a leper!) took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a sword of the finest steel.
But, alas, once the princes touched it, it melted away.
The second prince brought diamonds. He thought that diamond was the hardest substance known to man and would not melt. But, sadly for him, they did!
The third prince approached, he told the princess, "put you hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red!
She felt something hard, she held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!
The king was overjoyed. Everyone in the kingdom was overjoyed.
The couple where married that afternoon, and lived happily ever after.!!
Question: What was in the princes pants??
Scroll down for the answer
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An M&M of course!
They melt in your mouth not your hand!
What where you thinking you pervert!
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Reply #641 Sunday, February 23, 2003 6:20 PM
"This should be taken care of right away."
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
"Welllllll, what have we here...?"
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.
"Let me check your medical history."
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.
"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
--or--
I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.
"We have some good news and some bad news."
The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.
"Let's see how it develops."
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.
"Let me schedule you for some tests."
I have a forty percent interest in the lab.
"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.
"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.
"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.
"That's quite a nasty looking wound."
I think I'm going to throw up.
"This may smart a little."
Last week two patients bit off their tongues.
"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"
I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?
"This should fix you up."
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.
"Everything seems to be normal."
Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.
"I'd like to run some more tests."
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.
"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"
You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me ...
"There is a lot of that going around."
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.
"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.