Words of wisdom...
Friday, December 13, 2002 by Jafo | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
A friend will help you move.....
A REAL friend will help you move a body....
A REAL friend will help you move a body....
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JamMeister33
Reply #102 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:32 AM
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Reply #102 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:32 AM
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
JamMeister33
Reply #103 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:35 AM
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Reply #103 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:35 AM
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Angel_Wings
Reply #104 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:36 AM
Reply #104 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:36 AM
Why does does life have to get so damned short just when it's getting good?
JamMeister33
Reply #105 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:40 AM
A man has been stranded on a desert island, all alone, for ten years.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop-dead gorgeous woman
wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches him and asks, "How long has it been since you've had a
cigarette?"
"Ten years!" he says.
She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and
pulls out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and
takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that ever good!"
She then asks him, "How long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?"
Trembling, he replies, "Ten Years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve,
pulls out a flask, and gives it to him. He opens the flask, takes a
long swig, and says, "Wow, that's absolutely fantastic!"
Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the
front of her wet suit, looks at him seductively and asks, "And how long
has it been since you've played around?"
The guy, with tears in his eyes, replies, "Oh sweet Lord God! Don't tell
me you've got golf clubs in there!"
Reply #105 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:40 AM
A man has been stranded on a desert island, all alone, for ten years.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop-dead gorgeous woman
wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches him and asks, "How long has it been since you've had a
cigarette?"
"Ten years!" he says.
She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and
pulls out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and
takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that ever good!"
She then asks him, "How long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?"
Trembling, he replies, "Ten Years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve,
pulls out a flask, and gives it to him. He opens the flask, takes a
long swig, and says, "Wow, that's absolutely fantastic!"
Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the
front of her wet suit, looks at him seductively and asks, "And how long
has it been since you've played around?"
The guy, with tears in his eyes, replies, "Oh sweet Lord God! Don't tell
me you've got golf clubs in there!"
Angel_Wings
Reply #108 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:49 AM
Reply #108 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:49 AM
Oh so what, I don't mind saying it, I've been fighting cancer and I'm not ashamed to say it (I'm shy but not ashamed). There. 
I'll keep that knowledge hidden on this bloated thread because I don't want anybody's sympathy because I'm a fighter and I can't stand that sh*t. I'm sorry I couldn't contribute more here but the chemo is zapping my strength and I'm sorry I jumped down Fuzzy Logic's throat for threatening to lop my hair off but with the chemo I'm terrified of it falling out and it really upset me. Anyway, to those who give a dang, I'm sorry for over-reacting so much...I've been on numerous medications to not only help me deal with the chemo nausea but the pain and aches in my bones.
I probably will lose all my hair (*sob*) and I probably won't visit here much more and I hope I didn't cause anyone any hurt as I only wanted to come here to be peaceful and loving and somehow it all got mucked up.
I hope you can forgive me that anyway.
I'm hoping you all have the best that life can give you...it IS too short...
Logging off,
AngEla
I'll keep that knowledge hidden on this bloated thread because I don't want anybody's sympathy because I'm a fighter and I can't stand that sh*t. I'm sorry I couldn't contribute more here but the chemo is zapping my strength and I'm sorry I jumped down Fuzzy Logic's throat for threatening to lop my hair off but with the chemo I'm terrified of it falling out and it really upset me. Anyway, to those who give a dang, I'm sorry for over-reacting so much...I've been on numerous medications to not only help me deal with the chemo nausea but the pain and aches in my bones. I probably will lose all my hair (*sob*) and I probably won't visit here much more and I hope I didn't cause anyone any hurt as I only wanted to come here to be peaceful and loving and somehow it all got mucked up.
I hope you can forgive me that anyway.I'm hoping you all have the best that life can give you...it IS too short...
Logging off,
AngEla
Aleatoric
Reply #109 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:55 AM
Reply #109 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:55 AM
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Revenge is sweet.
Therefore, revenge is ice cream.
I'd like chocolate revenge, please.
Revenge is sweet.
Therefore, revenge is ice cream.
I'd like chocolate revenge, please.
elvee
Reply #110 Saturday, December 14, 2002 3:19 AM
Reply #110 Saturday, December 14, 2002 3:19 AM
Why do people park in Driveways and drive on Parkways?
elvee
Reply #112 Saturday, December 14, 2002 3:41 AM
Reply #112 Saturday, December 14, 2002 3:41 AM
Well i noticed DS, and well...You keep fighting, Don't give up. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to hurdle over the big hill. I speak from experience. I am not giving sympathy, but offering hope. As you say "it IS too short" It is only as short as you make it.
bakerstreet
Reply #113 Saturday, December 14, 2002 6:28 AM
Reply #113 Saturday, December 14, 2002 6:28 AM
"From this a general rule is drawn which never or rarely fails: that he who is the cause of another becoming powerful is ruined; because that predominancy has been brought about either by astuteness or else by force, and both are distrusted by him who has been raised to power...
Upon this, one has to remark that men ought either to be well treated or crushed, because they can avenge themselves of lighter injuries, of more serious ones they cannot; therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge." -Niccolo Machiavelli (The Prince Chapter 4)
"Of my grandfather Verus I have learned to be gentle and meek, and to refrain from all anger and passion. From the fame and memory of him that begot me I have learned both shamefastness and manlike behavior. Of my mother I have learned to be religious, and bountiful; and to forbear, not only to do, but to intend any evil; to content myself with a spare diet, and to fly all such excess as is incidental to great wealth. Of my great grandfather, both to frequent public schools and auditories, and to get me good and able teachers at home; and that I ought not to think much, if upon such occasions, I were at excessive charges." -Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, 1)
"In the Name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful
BY the noonday brightness,
And by the night when it darkeneth!
Thy Lord hath not forsaken thee, neither hath he been displeased.
And surely the future shall be better for thee than the past,
And in the end shall thy Lord be bounteous to thee and thou be satisfied.
Did he not find thee an orphan and gave thee a home?
And found thee erring and guided thee,
And found thee needy and enriched thee.
As to the orphan therefore wrong him not;
And as to him that asketh of thee, chide him not away;
And as for the favours of thy Lord tell them abroad." The Qu'ran Sura 93 (an older, more lyrical, translation)
"Ecclesiastes 11 (excerpt)
1. Cast thy bread upon the waters, for thou shalt find it after many days.
2. Give portion to seven and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall fall upon the earth.
3. If the clouds be full of rain, they empty themselves upon the earth; and if the tree fall toward the south or toward the north, in the place that the tree falleth, there it shall be. " (The Bible, KJV)
A few thought I constantly fail living up to.
Upon this, one has to remark that men ought either to be well treated or crushed, because they can avenge themselves of lighter injuries, of more serious ones they cannot; therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge." -Niccolo Machiavelli (The Prince Chapter 4)
"Of my grandfather Verus I have learned to be gentle and meek, and to refrain from all anger and passion. From the fame and memory of him that begot me I have learned both shamefastness and manlike behavior. Of my mother I have learned to be religious, and bountiful; and to forbear, not only to do, but to intend any evil; to content myself with a spare diet, and to fly all such excess as is incidental to great wealth. Of my great grandfather, both to frequent public schools and auditories, and to get me good and able teachers at home; and that I ought not to think much, if upon such occasions, I were at excessive charges." -Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, 1)
"In the Name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful
BY the noonday brightness,
And by the night when it darkeneth!
Thy Lord hath not forsaken thee, neither hath he been displeased.
And surely the future shall be better for thee than the past,
And in the end shall thy Lord be bounteous to thee and thou be satisfied.
Did he not find thee an orphan and gave thee a home?
And found thee erring and guided thee,
And found thee needy and enriched thee.
As to the orphan therefore wrong him not;
And as to him that asketh of thee, chide him not away;
And as for the favours of thy Lord tell them abroad." The Qu'ran Sura 93 (an older, more lyrical, translation)
"Ecclesiastes 11 (excerpt)
1. Cast thy bread upon the waters, for thou shalt find it after many days.
2. Give portion to seven and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall fall upon the earth.
3. If the clouds be full of rain, they empty themselves upon the earth; and if the tree fall toward the south or toward the north, in the place that the tree falleth, there it shall be. " (The Bible, KJV)
A few thought I constantly fail living up to.
Fuzzy Logic
Reply #117 Saturday, December 14, 2002 7:26 AM
Reply #117 Saturday, December 14, 2002 7:26 AM
If I had a split personality I would be beside myself...
Fuzzy Logic
Reply #118 Saturday, December 14, 2002 7:26 AM
Reply #118 Saturday, December 14, 2002 7:26 AM
I started at the bottom and worked my way down...
Fuzzy Logic
Reply #119 Saturday, December 14, 2002 7:27 AM
Reply #119 Saturday, December 14, 2002 7:27 AM
You'd be out of your depth in a carpark puddle...
Fuzzy Logic
Reply #120 Saturday, December 14, 2002 7:27 AM
Reply #120 Saturday, December 14, 2002 7:27 AM
How dumb you look depends on where you are standing at the time...
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Reply #101 Saturday, December 14, 2002 2:29 AM