I'm still alive, but don't feel like it

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 by k10w3 | Discussion: Community

Hey my WinCustomize buddies -

I'm just letting you all know the reason I've been on hiatus.  It wasn't that I was only active here until I was made Master and then bolted. 

My husband, whom I had been supporting for 12 years, decided he would get hassled less about doing nothing with his life, if he left me and moved in with his cousin, so I've been nursing a broken heart and trying to get my finances together because when the jerk left, he took our only car with him.

I've got a couple of new skins started, but honestly, I'm not going to be able to crank them out as fast as I used to, because in order to keep my mind healthy, I need to work out every day, spend time in mindfulness meditation, and I've been getting out and about, since finally buying myself a used car a couple weeks ago, doing things with the few friends and acquaintances I've made here on my own in Tulsa.

I just wanted you to know, I still have skin ideas, I still plan on carrying through with them, but I'm a mess right now, and although it's been 3 months since he left, it's not getting any easier on me, and I feel like I'm just going through the motions of moving on with my life.  I found myself writing poetry a few nights ago, which I have never done before, so the creative flow is still within me; at some point, I'm hoping I'll be able to channel this pain into Photoshop and create some dark, gothy, industrial, hard skins.

First Previous Page 2 of 3 Next Last
starkers
Reply #21 Thursday, March 28, 2013 2:39 AM

I know in the end I'll be glad it happened; first, I deserve better,

Got it in a nutshell, Karen, you deserve better.  When somebody drags you down and puts you at unnecessary risk while contributing little or nothing, you're certainly entitled to feel that way.  My first two wives were no good for me, either, and my kids deserved better... then Shaunna enters our lives. 

That was 16 years ago and we've never looked back.  Hopefully you can also meet someone and move on together.

WebGizmos
Reply #22 Thursday, March 28, 2013 4:15 AM

Well Karen...I wish I could say I'm sorry to hear about what happened...but after reading how things were going and how and why they ended...I'd have to say it was the best thing that could have happened to you. Should you feel insulted...yes...I would as well...should you feel humiliated...hell no. You should never feel humiliated for being a good person...unfortunately people like you and me come across people that just take and never give...unless you consider "trouble" giving...I don't.

I was in the same place you are about 22 years ago...hurt like hell...but in the long run I was better off for it. I know it's hard to see the good points to a bad situation when you've just had your heart trampled...but they will become clearer as time passes and the wound heals. Just hang in there and it will get better. I've stayed single for the last 22 years since my ex pulled her little stunt...but it was her problem...not mine...well maybe a little bit my problem...because I obviously sucked at picking the right person so I just gave up on it. I figured if my "soul mate" was out there somewhere...let her find me...I'm tired of looking...lol In the meantime I'm pretty content being on my own...oh...and that thing 22 years ago...is all in the past. Yours will be too.

DrJBHL
Reply #23 Thursday, March 28, 2013 7:03 AM

WebGizmos
You should never feel humiliated for being a good person...unfortunately people like you and me come across people that just take and never give...unless you consider "trouble" giving...I don't.

 

Exactly. There are givers and takers... Never feel badly about being a good person. Disappointment comes... better to have no expectations and to be yourself doing your best and what you think right with all your heart and never look back.

teddybearcholla
Reply #24 Thursday, March 28, 2013 7:46 AM

Karen,  Everyone has said it so well....but I really love the way syd put it...

 

sydneysiders
you've had more than enough motivation for the both of you to keep things together up till now... just imagine how you'll fly without a 45 year old child to look after, when you get over the shock of it.. 

Vampothika
Reply #25 Thursday, March 28, 2013 7:52 AM

teddybearcholla
Karen,  Everyone has said it so well....but I really love the way syd put it...

 


Quoting sydneysiders,
reply 20
you've had more than enough motivation for the both of you to keep things together up till now... just imagine how you'll fly without a 45 year old child to look after, when you get over the shock of it.. 



For real, you dont have to wipe his ass anymore (figuratively) good riddance to toxic rubbish, a loser and a bum.

my stupid ex was the same, i spent 5 years with that pathetic alcoholic, all the time thinking he would change... and playing

nurse maid to his every whim, even buying him alcohol..... christ. what a fool i was.  i used to regret the time i wasted on him,

now i just chalk it up as experience i gained and havent looked back. x0x0

Jafo
Reply #26 Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:09 AM

Aussies are often known for 'telling it like it is' ....and I'm an Aussie....so....

Everyone has an arsehole.  You simply had one too many....

DrJBHL
Reply #27 Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:11 AM

roflmao!!! New procedure submitted for patent: Autosupernumeraryanalectomy!

also... a new abbreviation: lmaho

I'm hoping that gives our girl a giggle.

Lantec
Reply #28 Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:54 AM

Sorry to hear about your troubles Karen. You can always come back. Things are actually starting to improve around here now. The medical industry's always hiring (thanks to Ocare) and even construction is picking up a little.

Uvah
Reply #29 Thursday, March 28, 2013 10:01 AM

DrJBHL
Autosupernumeraryanalectomy

One for the medical books Doc.

Back in 1970 I married this girl who turned out to be a nympho, no joke. If you didn't pay attention she got pissed. I was working on a project for my dad and it was quite complex. One morning I'm sitting down at the table working and next thing I know I got a broomstick across the back. Needless to say I almost reciprocated in kind. Instead I broke the broomstick in half and that was the end of that. It lasted one whole year. She moved in with her sister in Vermont while I stayed in New York. I divorced her right quick. Been on my own ever since. So yeah....its gets better with time.

Hankers
Reply #30 Thursday, March 28, 2013 10:34 AM

Once upon a time it was a dark and stormy night and .....  

RedneckDude
Reply #31 Thursday, March 28, 2013 11:15 AM

Karen, I believe you have my number.

 

If you need someone to bounce emotions off of, or a shoulder to cry on, I'm here.

I take abuse fairly well, it's a part of my daily routine...hehe...

 

We all love you here, and well wishes abound for you!! 

RedneckDude
Reply #32 Thursday, March 28, 2013 11:18 AM

DrJBHL

roflmao!!! New procedure submitted for patent: Autosupernumeraryanalectomy!

also... a new abbreviation: lmaho

I'm hoping that gives our girl a giggle.

 

Maybe he had a Rectal-Cranial Intersectomy?

 

You'd have to have your head up your ass to do that to a lady like Karen!

Hankers
Reply #33 Thursday, March 28, 2013 11:25 AM

RedneckDude
You'd have to have your head up your ass to do that to a lady like Karen!

Indeed.

Uvah
Reply #34 Thursday, March 28, 2013 12:06 PM

We can always deliver a bag of poop to his house, set it on fire then ring the bell.

doortech1
Reply #35 Thursday, March 28, 2013 12:49 PM

Very sorry for your troubles, glad you are still with us here , you would be very much missed. Stay up, its a hard trip to freedom,your on your way though.Block out the crap and start a new day.Soon you will be on top of the world. Best wishes for you.

k10w3
Reply #36 Thursday, March 28, 2013 12:51 PM

Jafo -

Lantec

You can always come back. Things are actually starting to improve around here now. The medical industry's always hiring (thanks to Ocare) and even construction is picking up a little.

That's the plan.  I miss my kid and he misses me.  Hopefully I'll have enough cash saved up to move in the fall.

Uvah - How would he know there is a flaming bag of poo on his porch, when he's in the house with the music cranked up and he's smoking weed.  It's the same smell!

doortech1
Reply #37 Thursday, March 28, 2013 1:00 PM

ps, Think I can get a 40 sack from your ex! I could give you the cash! Sad humor, I know. Seriously though, sounds like not much to miss other than a  a giant headache and constant burden. Were here if you need us.

PoSmedley
Reply #38 Thursday, March 28, 2013 1:24 PM

Well, I bet you're not selling weed out of your living room for pocket change, like my husband was before he left, and I bet you didn't take your entire last check and spend it on a huge ghetto back tattoo that says "BEAST," either.

I wouldn't have made a dime cause I would have smoked it all while on a road trip around the country visiting all you knuckleheads and my tattoo is actually a work in progress. (I have The List tattooed on my back and am running out of room)

 

gmc2
Reply #39 Thursday, March 28, 2013 1:41 PM

bummer Karen, hang in there.

Is this the guy you picked up and moved with to Arizona or someplace?

k10w3
Reply #40 Thursday, March 28, 2013 2:02 PM

doortech1
ps, Think I can get a 40 sack from your ex!

I'm pretty sure you could, but I'll warn you he keeps orange peels in the stash to keep the product moist so it weighs more<----------And a decent human being like me should not know these secrets to higher weed profits.  Perhaps some day when I don't have to work as much as I do, I'll write fiction, which is something I've always wanted to do, and this knowledge will make me a more authentic author.

Please login to comment and/or vote for this skin.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

  • Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums and downloading skins.
  • Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
  • Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
  • It's simple, and FREE!



web-wc01