It'll make it with enough

if need be.

I'm still around. Just got back from my wedding. Busy working on the house now to get it to the point where we can live in it I have the second floor completely gutted and the first floor isn't able to be lived in yet.

Not sure if it will reach the 678 posts. The chocolate planet went into hibernation.

I have the this illustrious bit of ancient history on my watch list...and when anyone dares to enter I will defend it to the very last.....oh, hello, just visiting...never mind.......

Grand Raspberries to ALL and to all a good night.........  

I was going to ...er...bah, fiddlesticks...   

Anyone seen feline?

Nevermind, found him...

Hmmmm....I don't get it?....um....a....OoooooKkkkkkkkk......now I got it....er, um..get it. Cat or a um kitten or feline something or another playing with something? ..... no, ohhhhhh, dear my a umm..is that a ....a ... nah. Family site. Not here. No sir. Not here. Giggle. Wait a minute. Now I see.....its a ....cat hammock.

feline did say you could always find him hiding in GM's t-shirt   

LOL

I was informed that someone wanted to kill off this thread, and by the looks of things, it has been killed...

and then resurrected again by Elfkura.


Graduation was 4+ months ago. I wish I can say that time has been grand since that day, but my graduation was, at that point in my life, the worst experience of my life followed by even worse experiences. There is a family feud going on between my parents and I regarding my wishes to be left alone to make my choices about my own life.

They played the nasty card. They forced me to return to China on the excuse, while valid, that I needed to make a visit to Malaysia with the family for a Permanent Residency update they were doing. Then they proceeded to strip me of my legal documents and pretty much held me hostage (still am being held hostage) in a place where I know no one, has no car, and no money to do anything.

I'm now scheduled to work for one of my father's friends at a job I didn't wish to take. While Frogboy offered me a job, it was one outside my skills. I was thinking about learning them, but not only do I not have anything here that I need (and I'm talking about clothes too. Everything I have is in the United States. I have maybe 5 t-shirts and 3 pairs of jeans in my closet. That's what I've been living off in the last 4 months.) they've been forcing me to go to work for them at their office for no pay.

I don't even get weekends off. No evening to myself because I have to clean the kitchen after the sloppy job of some 31-year old idiot who is so stupid the only thing she can do correctly, it seems, is to dress herself.

I can't talk to anyone because none of my friends are within calling distance anymore. I can't even really talk to them via any of the messenger services because I'm at least 12 hours ahead of everyone in the United States and that part of the world.

I'm sitting here, miserable, alone, and feeling my depressing worsening...

So, I figured I'll come back. At least then my world wouldn't just consist of my parents and my two cousins day in and day out. No, I'm not kidding. I spend 24 hours with them a day, 7 days a week, and thus far counting - 4 months in a row.



I guess now I can at least focus my attention on what's been going on since I've been out of the loop for so long. I'm not sure if the boards are covered during the hours I would usually be on, but here I am. Are the old players still around?


-Elffie.

One still is. I have a watch notice when the msgb changes. You my dear are in what is considered to be a...pickle. What legal recourse do you have? Many free legal sources should be available. Or a religious order that helps folks like you. Trouble is that family in Malyasia usual trump individuals and have a pecking order. Young people unfortunately are usually at the bottom. Hang in there, and don't do anything rash.

This is just terrible. I can't believe things like this can still happen. Elf, If there was anything I could do to get you out I would. Can anyone from the US Embassy help? As OC says, hang in there, a solution will present itself.

And I thought I had it bad. I returned from holiday on Saturday to find my dad in hospital again (he's 87) and to find the company I work for is insolvent - that means they have no money to pay me, so I have no job and no money. I guess compared to you Elf I'm still very comfy.

No-one wanted this thread to finish, but people just drifted away and then there was no reason to come back. Maybe now we can keep this as a meeting place. A place where people can come and find friendship and feel at home. I will be here as much as possible.

Helloween Fuzzy. Trouble is brewing all over. My dear folks took off on a long journy to Virgina State. Three days out my Mother left her purse with Visa, Master Charge, Checks, (Cheque in British),   and a brand new Sony LCD camera in a restroom stall. 50 miles down the way she found her purse was missing so they went back and it had disappeared. It is unusual but I've always thought that women had some sort of attachment to their purses! Like an umbilical cord or something.   I've been trying all weekend in to get their cards and checks canceled, but as I've found out its not wise to tangle with these Evil Corporations on the weekend. It's tough out there so beware! Yusef Islam (Cat Stevens) Yes I still listen to him and have his latest CD.

I wish I had a legal recourse in all this. As far as China is concerned, this is none of their business. As far as America is concerned, it's the same thing as I'm not a US Citizen. I can't even live or work there without permission. Unfortunately, where I am from (Taiwan) the culture dictates that what I did for myself was wrong and that my parents are right. No one will side with me on this case and the only hope I have to get out of here is in the United States. Unfortunately, he needs to secure a means of digging me out first before it can be done.

It looks like I'll be stuck here for at least a year (counting from October). I won't even be able to go back to the US to get my things that I need until the next Lunar New Year. This isn't the worst part. The worst part is I eat the same type of meal day in and day out when I've grown used to making my own meals and keeping to a schedule that will allow me to stay trim and healthy.

My asthma has returned with a vengeance. Everyone here smokes, and no, smoking in stores and other areas are allowed, so it doesn't matter where I go. If I'm not home, I'll come home stinking of cigarette smoke, exhaust fumes, and everything else you can name. I told my parents I can't stay here due to health reasons. My mother spat back at me that I'm just using my asthma as an excuse and I haven't had an attack since I was 12.

Fact is, I've had an attack almost every night since I've been back. Just because she doesn't see it, and I don't wake her up to go to the hospital (I don't trust them here anyways), it doesn't exist.

She says I'm a very stubborn person, unwilling to adapt to new environments. I'm not sure how, exactly, I'm supposed to adapt to not being able to breathe. I think for me to be alive, that is actually a requirement.

My mother wouldn't move to the US to live if she had a choice because she can't adapt to the food there or how things are done. Yet, I'm being harped on for not wanting to return to this environment because I've finally gotten used to one place and don't wish to change my environment again.

My parents have never given me a stable environment. It appears that it is their goal to keep it that way.

I'll get out. I know I will. They will just not like me for doing it. My mother'll probably deal with it by pretending she never had me as a daughter.

25 years of this crap and my entirely family thinks I'm spoiled. Sheesh. I'll trade my life for theirs any day, any place.

Oh, by the way, you guys will love this. I can't even sleep in my own bedroom because it's given up to that moron of a cousin I have. She's an idiot, a slob, can't even wash dishes right, and is afraid people will know all her bad traits and tell everyone else. She demands to have her own room instead of rooming with my cousin. I don't have a bed to sleep on (just a mattress on the floor) and nowhere to put my clothes. She's taken over all my closet space, and my mother made me clean those out for her to use.

Oye! that's an awful situation.  Sorry I missed you think weekend, Elfkura.  IM me when you get a chance.

I have you in my thoughts Elfie. I hope that somehow, someway, real soon you can be free of your situation.

What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger, right?

That's how I'm viewing this. Sure, everything is crap right now, and I hate my parents. I have nothing I can do for myself and all my time is eaten up by all their demands because it is their house. I can pass a day feeling depressed that I'm stuck here, or I can pass a day thinking my own thoughts and be happy. I'll pass it thinking of my friends (you guys) and my boyfriend and be happy.

When I started out on online communities, I was in this exact situation. I had to rely on people I don't know and will probably never meet to keep me rooted to the world. I had to rely on friendship that I have to form outside of the normal means to help me go through the troubles I find myself in. The sad part is that my parents never helped me through any of it. My mother's reply to my telling her that I'm being bullied in school was: "If you don't go bother others, they won't bully you." Nice huh? I bring this up now, and all she'll say to me is: "Don't you feel confident in knowing that you can resolve your own situation without help?" I was 13 then. Shouldn't it have been her duty to protect me? This is why when I'm hit now, I hit back. They dropped me in this well of isolation. I'll dig myself out again. My parents always hated that about me. They think I never learn. What they do to me is for my own good.

I don't hold a grudge, not now, not in the past, not ever. I don't see a point to it. I do however point to all the things that have happened to explain to others why I don't feel safe with my parents, that I don't trust them, and why I'm stubborn and snobbish to a point past no return. In a place where I have to fight for my own sanity because my home isn't a sanctuary and school is just as brutal when I was growing up, I had no other choice but to turn to people and communities like this to give me a small road of communication and activity - insanity (look at this thread!) that serves to retain sanity.

I fought through school for my parents because that's where they wanted me to be. All I got was emotional maltreatment and partial physical abuse that has nothing to do with physical pain but emotional. I'm done trying to do things for them. I have myself 2 degrees, one of which I never wanted, and now a job I never asked to take but was forced to.

I perform well, I can get out, do what it is I want to do. I get transferred to the US and do well for a couple of years, who knows, Frogboy might like a good marketing person specializing in international communications... or not .

Along the way I plan on learning some technical stuff that I've always wanted. It's unfair of my parents to rip me away from one of the best sources I've got concerning that area - my boyfriend. He lives and breathes anything dealing with network engineering and security. I might have had a future following my parents, but I would have a brighter one with my boyfriend. My parents couldn't wrap that idea around their brains. That's how snobbish and egotistical they've become through their quest of obtaining money, and with it, status.

Money was never a determining factor. Happiness is, and my parents equate one with the other where I don't. That's why I will never see eye-to-eye with them and they will never bring themselves down to my level and understand where it is I came from.

My parents are forcing me down a road that they've fought to achieve. The thing is I've never seen my parents been happy all my life. I don't know the true reason as to why. They say it's because they're fighting to give me a bright future. I think it's simply because they've got personal problems and instead of dealing with it, turn to work to ignore it. That way, they can use the excuse that it is to give me a better future. I never see my father because he's at work 24/7 when I was growing up and still is to this day. My mother and I don't talk much. The last thing I want to become is them. If there's a life lesson in here somewhere, then it's this: Money is important. It just isn't worth your entire life, especially not the lives of your spouse and your children. Maybe some day my parents will wake up and realize that.

My parents can buy me anything I might want that has a monetary value. Everything else that didn't have that, I will never see any part of it.

Priceless.

Just and FYI, I have skype. If you wish to look me up and chat (MSN doesn't work here at my parents' office, but skype does) my handle you can search by is elfkura. If Yi-Tzu pops up with some character your computer can't recognize, that's my Chinese name with the characters written in for family and friends who know me not as Mary or Elffie.

I'm going to need some help getting back into this place, that's for sure.

Elfkura,

It's nice to see you showing up again. I haven't been around much either.

With your stuff. What I've learned and I've been taught, don't let anybody put you down. That's even your own parents. The only one that can keep you down is yourself. I would tell you do what you feel is the best for you. Parents are good for so many years, however, depending they could be good sources of information for your whole life. That's if they allow you to grow on your own and just give you suggestions and let you learn yourself. I've even gotten to the point where if I notice if my parents are working too much and it's effecting home life, I tell them that they need to take a break and alot of times they do. No matter who you are, you need a break/vacation from work sometime. And life problems, it's a part of life. You can't ignore them, they just grow in the background. I myself found that out the hard way. I used to sleep my life away and hope that the problems just pass me by.

What are the two degrees you have and what did you want and which one didn't you want?

I would tell you my problems, but you already have alot on your plate. Alot of mine deals with relationship. Just to give you a hint. I'm married (basically for over a year), have 1 child, actually have a house, but don't live with her, don't see my son, and don't even live in the house I have. We both still live with our parents away from each other. That's just to start.

Conclusion:
Honestly, I think you should just come out and tell your parents how you feel and do what is best for you. You have to look out for yourself, because nobody else is going to. They will either try to help you or put you down. Your friends will try to help you guide you in the right direction, your enemies will try to put you down but use it to your benefit and make yourself stronger.

I hope you at least get this and read it. I'll check back on and off to see if you respond.

-Tom-

Oops, didn't read above last post. I'm doing that now.

Ok, read the other posts.

Your situation is bullshit basically. The only problem is that you're over in a different country. The stuff I said in the above post will probably not even help you. I guess it would of helped if I had all the info. I'm sorry.

I truly wish I could help you in some way. Directly, I can't think of any thing and indirectly I can't even think of anything. I do pray that you do find a way out of that place soon. Nobody should have to be pushed to live in that way. I would still like to know what degrees you do have. Just curious.

I will check on and off to see how things are going.

I'm sad for you

-Tom-