You, Smedley, are sooooo on THE LIST.

What?   Think you're the only one with a list?

What makes you think you have a monopoly on lists?

George Bush had several, apparently... and Sarah Palin still has several.

One would imagine Obama has a list or three, but our Juliar Gillard... well she's just on everyone's list.

In fact, I've got a special list just for her.... and one for bankers... and one for Google... AND one for toilet paper manufacturers.

Thing is, toilet paper manufacturers aren't the only ones short-sheeting us.  Hundreds upon hundreds of grocery items have less product than they did just a short while ago.  Tin and packet foods have notoriously been short-weighted, as have cleaning products and toiletries such as soap, shampoo, deoderants. 

Take a can on SPC pear halves, for example.  Used to be 440 grams, now 420 grams.  Used to contain 5 - 6 pear halves, now contains only 4.  Used to contain less syrup, now contains more syrup to make up the weight.  Same with their baked beans... were 440 grams, now 410 grams and 10% more sauce to reduce that actual product weight..

Here's another sneaky one supermarkets use to maximise profit for less product.  When it comes to seafood and fresh meats, they add shaved ice rather than turn down the refrigeration to keep it cool.  If you ask why there's small slithers of shaved ice [thus more water] in the product, you will be told it is to provide you the freshest product possible.  Bollocks!!!  What happened to turning down the fridges/coolers to a level which maintains freshness.  Well they're not going to do that because it costs more to run.  No, the department heads are instructed to test cabinet temperatures several times daily, not to ensure they're cold enough, but to ensure they're not chewing more power than budgeted for.

How do I know all this?  I used to work for a large supermarket chain, and I saw the cheating tactics used to part customers from their money for less product. With king prawns, for example, the added ice would save the store I worked in up to 40 - 50kg per day... and at 29.90 per kg at the time, that's a massive difference to what should have been sold, had they been honest. Imagine the savings to the store/entire chain on fresh food items right across the board

In fact, we should name and shame companies that 'short-sheet' products while continuing to bump up prices.  What d'yer reckon? 

That's right, step right up and have a gripe.

I'd like to start by calling out Crossborder Pharmacy for shorting Starkers on his Thorazine and Prozac.

You are still sooooo on THE list.  In fact, because you suck so much, I might have to create a separate list especially for you.

Right!  It's done.... and you already have 11 entries to your discredit.

AND FYI, I do not take Prozac.  Apparently it messes with the desired effect of Viagra... not that I can afford Viagra, but if ever I accept a donation of a few dozen tabs, I don't wanna be doped up on Prozac.

Anyhow, back to naming and shaming...

One company I'd like to call out is Arnotts - a once proud Aussie biscuit company bought out by 'US interests - for short-weighting packs of biscuits across its range.  Packs of chocolate biscuits like Tim-Tams used to be 250 grams before the takeover, but shortly thereafter they all went down to 200 grams.  Those same packs are now 165 or 180 grams, depending on the variety.  That's almost half in less than 10 years... but the f**king price still goes up.  When I first bought Tim-Tams back in the 70's they were 250 grams and around 72 - 75 cents.  A 165 gram pack now is closer to $4.00.  My daughter-in-law bought some on special for $3.55 today, down from the regular shelf price of $3.95.

Starkers you creep into my head at the oddest times.

I was sitting here shredding a bunch of that garbage paper that the banks insist on sending me (fear not, I recycle it) and I thought to myself "Yep, there's Starkers' tp right there.  At least it should have been."  

Next time save the shreds. starkers will appreciate the additional savings even if he has to stitch them together first or super glue them.

I suppose a person could just use them shredded and get a little "tickle your fancy" perk.

Or get a little excited yes. Imagine that.

Here ya go.

Now quit your bitching.

So long as you're not blaming me for causing you nighmares.

My bank doesn't charge me for those quarterly statements [in fact, my account attracts no fees] but I know of people who are being charged between $2.50 and $5.00 for theirs... so it'd make for some pretty expensive shredding, wouldn't it.  F**king bankers... always finding ways to apply fees and charges to everything.  A woman writing to our local rag a few days ago was complaining that her bank had just charged her $20.00 to replace two cards that had been stolen in a purse snatching.  Heartless bastards, certainly know how to kick a person when they're down.

As for bank statements being recycled as toilet paper?  Being that it's 'bank related' it's likely to aggravate my haemorrhoids.  So while I appreciate the thought, Dave, thanks but no thanks.

Um.... no.   While I have a little more time on my hands these days, it would aggravate me immensely if I were to piece one of Dave's statements together and notice that his bank had applied money grubbing fees... given my love-hate feelings for bankers.  Yep, that's right! I love to hate 'em.

I just created that list just especially for you - like just yesterday - and you've accumulated more entries tha ALL the people on the other list put together.   And when I look at that avatar of you, smugly grinning away there, I feel like adding a double breach of your double double probation and bringing disciplinary charges in the court of appeals.  Yes, I will appeal that you're not entitled to look that smug.

Oh, and the toilet roll, right, bottom row, has 3 sheets less that all the others... take it back and demand a replacement with the correct # of sheets.

I figured you'd like the idea of wiping your *** with bank products.

No worries there.  Avoiding bank fees as much as I possibly can is one of my many (and one of my more productive) hobbies.   A penny saved is a penny earned, and a penny rescued from the clutches of a banker or an oil company is a satisfying penny indeed.

And they do add up unlike bumwadden which is a one use only type thing. Unless you're really into frugal.

I get a laugh while I'm peddling my bike to the grocery store.  I picture an oil speculator with a big Cuban hanging out of his mouth, saying "Where's Dave's penny?  D***it, where's Dave's penny?"

What can I say, it keeps me going.  I have my own image of my publicly-known speculator I like to piss off, I'll let you pick your own.

Protest, Hell, I'm too busy living.   Having fun at it too, thank you very much.

A banker's tie or a banker's moustache, perhaps, but bank statements are printed on rather coarse paper [probably to coincide with the rough news they deliver regarding fees] and I'm not gonna tempt fate or a sore ringhole.

Same here, though I don't have to worry about fees on my accounts anymore, as my bank does not charge them on certain account types.  I have one of those,  a Plus 55 account designed to assist retirees and pensioners, and the only fee I ever pay is the currency conversion fee which everyone pays on overseas transactions.

It wasn't always like that, however.  I was with a bank that charges a $5.00 per month account keeping fee if your account balance falls below $2000.  That's right, hit those lowest on the socio-economic scale.  While I had a savings account that was always above that threshold, my working account, though attached to my savings, attracted the $5.00 fee because it often fell below the $2000 when I paid bills, bought stuff, etc.  Not only that, I was being charged $2.50 every time I used the ATM over 5 times per month. 

The final straw came when they started charging $2.00 for each over-the-counter transaction beyond the 2nd in each month. I went in to get a couple of cheques written for some purchases I made, but when I discovered it was going to cost me $15.00 in charges [$6.00 of that in over-the-counter charges] before I even began, I withdrew all my money and hooked up with my current bank, but only after grilling the clerk for half an hour on what I could expect.

In going through my final statement from my former bank, I tallied up all the fees for that quarter and all up I paid a total of $72.00 in account keeping fees; excess ATM usage fees; using a competitor's ATM fees; over-the-counter fees, and [increased] cheque writing fees.  Apart from the cheque writing charges, which had doubled since previous cheques, all the fees were new and daylight robbery IMO.  A quarterly statement from just 3 years earlier showed zero account keeping, over-the-counter and ATM charges. I've been with my current bank for 12 years now, and I've still not paid $2.00 in charges, much less $72.

Holy shit Starkers.

I'm gonna spray that at about 85 degrees left.  Later

argh.

I would suggest using newspaper instead of loo roll - no shortage of squares there. However, not a good choice really as they are already full of s***....

Not flamin' likely, the ink comes off on everything.

Besides, the last time I had to use newspaper to wipe me ars...  ugh, backside, I had to drop me trousers and bend over  Yeah, I'd used the sports page and dad wanted to check the footy scores.

Bloody (as in very. Not the other kind) muddy huh. Yuck!

There is the Texan option....

I suppose you could train a Kangaroo if you had to.