Successful marraiges
Monday, October 1, 2001 by Draginol | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
For those of you who are married, what would you list as the most important things in a successful marriage?
For me, I would list it as 3 particular things equally balanced:
Love (the passion, the romance, the sex, etc.).
Friendship (the act of simply liking to hang out with that person).
and
Compatibility (being married means having a roommate which can be a challenge on its own).
What do you guys think?
For me, I would list it as 3 particular things equally balanced:
Love (the passion, the romance, the sex, etc.).
Friendship (the act of simply liking to hang out with that person).
and
Compatibility (being married means having a roommate which can be a challenge on its own).
What do you guys think?
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craeonics
Reply #2 Monday, October 1, 2001 7:37 PM
Reply #2 Monday, October 1, 2001 7:37 PM
craeonics runs in Hermit mode, but can't keep quiet so...
...I think that being a soul mate is the most important aspect.
...I think that being a soul mate is the most important aspect.
Transmutate
Reply #3 Monday, October 1, 2001 8:11 PM
Reply #3 Monday, October 1, 2001 8:11 PM
being equal:
...someone that is your best friend, as well as your lover....someone you can talk to on the same level....
although i'm not married, so what whould i know....we've only been together for almost 10 years
...someone that is your best friend, as well as your lover....someone you can talk to on the same level....
although i'm not married, so what whould i know....we've only been together for almost 10 years
Istari
Reply #5 Monday, October 1, 2001 10:54 PM
Reply #5 Monday, October 1, 2001 10:54 PM
Pornography and lots of it.
Istari isn't married and has no clue.
Istari isn't married and has no clue.
migellito
Reply #6 Monday, October 1, 2001 11:04 PM
Reply #6 Monday, October 1, 2001 11:04 PM
"truth. yes, that's it. it must be truth. for when a man lies, he murders some part of the world."
;]
;]
Jim
Reply #7 Monday, October 1, 2001 11:44 PM
Reply #7 Monday, October 1, 2001 11:44 PM
Friendship, and all that goes with it. The other stuff comes and goes as part of being human, just friendship holds everything together.
DavidK
Reply #8 Monday, October 1, 2001 11:56 PM
Reply #8 Monday, October 1, 2001 11:56 PM
Patience
Tolerance
Compromise
Healthy doses of all of the above mixed with a sincere appreciation of your partner go a long way to making a relationship last.
We're approaching our 28th anniversary in a couple months, and both my wife and I are still grateful to have each other around.
Tolerance
Compromise
Healthy doses of all of the above mixed with a sincere appreciation of your partner go a long way to making a relationship last.
We're approaching our 28th anniversary in a couple months, and both my wife and I are still grateful to have each other around.
misterME
Reply #9 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 12:53 AM
Reply #9 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 12:53 AM
I think friendship, as mentioned above, is paramount. But that's too broad and doesn't really define anything.
My grilfriend and I have been dating for about 3 years. We moved in together after knowing each other for about 2 weeks. Recently, we sort of broke up, and she moved out (and away, 120 miles to the east). Now we're merely dating each other, and suddenly our relationship seems much stronger.
Analyzing this in the way I always do, I come to the following conclusions: We moved in with each other much too early in our relationship. We hadn't become the best of friends, or really learned to trust each other fully. Oh, we trusted each other, but out of necessity (since we were living together and sharing incomes/bills, etc). That's the wrong way to go about it.
So freindship would be my answer. But specifically: trust, respect, and lack of resentment. Love obviously plays a part, but love alone isn't enough, as we found out.
Just my $0.002
My grilfriend and I have been dating for about 3 years. We moved in together after knowing each other for about 2 weeks. Recently, we sort of broke up, and she moved out (and away, 120 miles to the east). Now we're merely dating each other, and suddenly our relationship seems much stronger.
Analyzing this in the way I always do, I come to the following conclusions: We moved in with each other much too early in our relationship. We hadn't become the best of friends, or really learned to trust each other fully. Oh, we trusted each other, but out of necessity (since we were living together and sharing incomes/bills, etc). That's the wrong way to go about it.
So freindship would be my answer. But specifically: trust, respect, and lack of resentment. Love obviously plays a part, but love alone isn't enough, as we found out.
Just my $0.002
adni18
Reply #10 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 3:31 AM
Reply #10 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 3:31 AM
Don't do to your wife things, that you don't want your wife do to you. This the golden rule for me.
Antagonism kill the marriage.
I agree with Jafo, that respect is very necessary for a successful marriage, and the 3 particular things that Draginol mention above.
Antagonism kill the marriage.
I agree with Jafo, that respect is very necessary for a successful marriage, and the 3 particular things that Draginol mention above.
fearoffours
Reply #11 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 5:11 AM
Reply #11 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 5:11 AM
Well, as of Sunday, I've been married for exactly 6 months.
Not long in the general scheme of things, but what amazes me is that the love mrs fof and I have for each other continues to grow. I know this is because we are getting to know each other better and better all the time, and that we care for each other more than words can express, and that I feweel pain like no other when I hear or see couples who love each other being torn apart, particularly through death.
Some of the stories of Sep 11th were particularly gut-wrenching, as I'm sure anyone will agree. You don#'t need to be married to understand that kind of pain.
SO what keeps it working? I think everything everyione has mentioned above, and also a knowledge that our marriage was part of God's plan for our lives.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Not long in the general scheme of things, but what amazes me is that the love mrs fof and I have for each other continues to grow. I know this is because we are getting to know each other better and better all the time, and that we care for each other more than words can express, and that I feweel pain like no other when I hear or see couples who love each other being torn apart, particularly through death.
Some of the stories of Sep 11th were particularly gut-wrenching, as I'm sure anyone will agree. You don#'t need to be married to understand that kind of pain.
SO what keeps it working? I think everything everyione has mentioned above, and also a knowledge that our marriage was part of God's plan for our lives.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
KenLin
Reply #12 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 6:19 AM
Reply #12 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 6:19 AM
Getting on your knees and thanking her for still being there when you get home every day. Has worked so far.
paxx
Reply #13 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 6:23 AM
Reply #13 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 6:23 AM
- Love, of course
- Trust and faith (100% necessary)
- Respect
- Good communication
I think if you have those above, your couple can go through anything and all the rest is accessory.
- Trust and faith (100% necessary)
- Respect
- Good communication
I think if you have those above, your couple can go through anything and all the rest is accessory.
T-Man
Reply #14 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 10:38 AM
Reply #14 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 10:38 AM
Adaptation. As two people come together they must learn to adapt to each others world to form a new world together. Also, as time passes people will change in many aspects so you need to learn to change, or accept change, as you and your spouse adapt to life.
All the above, even the porn 
Jafo
Reply #17 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 5:26 PM
Reply #17 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 5:26 PM
I forgot to mention....if you are a man, then you must remember that you will always be wrong....even when you are right....you will be wrong....
rmiles7721
Reply #18 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 7:19 PM
Reply #18 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 7:19 PM
Orion and Davidk are both pretty much on it. The other big thing is honesty. Been married going on 14 years now and that has been the biggest thing that keeps us together.
Oh, yeah, and that the man is always wrong :>
Oh, yeah, and that the man is always wrong :>
Jafo
Reply #19 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 8:17 PM
Reply #19 Tuesday, October 2, 2001 8:17 PM
Yes...gotta plan something special for next June....will be 20 years....
{seems longer].....
{seems longer].....
Orion
Reply #20 Wednesday, October 3, 2001 7:55 AM
Reply #20 Wednesday, October 3, 2001 7:55 AM
I just figured honesty was a "gimme".
I don't know about the rest of you, but I can tell who's married and who isn't just by reading the ideas here. Not a bash...just interesting.
Oh yeah: the man IS always wrong...I know, I'm one of "them".
I don't know about the rest of you, but I can tell who's married and who isn't just by reading the ideas here. Not a bash...just interesting.
Oh yeah: the man IS always wrong...I know, I'm one of "them".
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Reply #1 Monday, October 1, 2001 7:37 PM
Those things are all well and fine, but the they won't make a marriage LAST.
The three things you listed are the things you need to GET married.
To make it last you need (in no particular order):
Commitment
Communication
Respect
[/opinion]