Successful marraiges
Monday, October 1, 2001 by Draginol | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
For those of you who are married, what would you list as the most important things in a successful marriage?
For me, I would list it as 3 particular things equally balanced:
Love (the passion, the romance, the sex, etc.).
Friendship (the act of simply liking to hang out with that person).
and
Compatibility (being married means having a roommate which can be a challenge on its own).
What do you guys think?
For me, I would list it as 3 particular things equally balanced:
Love (the passion, the romance, the sex, etc.).
Friendship (the act of simply liking to hang out with that person).
and
Compatibility (being married means having a roommate which can be a challenge on its own).
What do you guys think?
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feline
Reply #22 Wednesday, October 3, 2001 12:36 PM
Reply #22 Wednesday, October 3, 2001 12:36 PM
oh yes, for those of you who havent guessed i am not actually married, although this shouldnt invalidate my answer 
fearoffours
Reply #24 Thursday, October 4, 2001 8:49 AM
Reply #24 Thursday, October 4, 2001 8:49 AM
sending each other flowers.
(I just got a huge spikey rose-y orchid-y thing)
(I just got a huge spikey rose-y orchid-y thing)
jebland
Reply #25 Thursday, October 4, 2001 10:24 AM
Reply #25 Thursday, October 4, 2001 10:24 AM
Mutual respect & communication. My husband of 18.5 years is my best friend and he accepts "always being wrong" very graciously.
feline
Reply #26 Thursday, October 4, 2001 11:37 AM
Reply #26 Thursday, October 4, 2001 11:37 AM
feline decides to embrace my ignorance with several limbs at once
what is the point in having one partner who is always wrong?
from the male point of view, i would get fed up of being told that i was wrong all the time, especially since i bound to be right some of the time, even if only by accident
and from the female point of view, what is the point in having conversations with someone who is always wrong, since i would end up spending so much time correcting them, no actual conversation or communication would take place?
feline still thinks humans are strange
what is the point in having one partner who is always wrong?
from the male point of view, i would get fed up of being told that i was wrong all the time, especially since i bound to be right some of the time, even if only by accident
and from the female point of view, what is the point in having conversations with someone who is always wrong, since i would end up spending so much time correcting them, no actual conversation or communication would take place?
feline still thinks humans are strange
Frogboy
Reply #27 Thursday, October 4, 2001 4:27 PM
Reply #27 Thursday, October 4, 2001 4:27 PM
My wife and I have been together for going on 10 years now. We rarely argue and it's really been quite blissful.
I think it's because we complement each other so well. I've very intense and obsessive and compulsive (as you all should be able to guess by now) while she's very laid back, stable, and very wise (she is a "big picture" type person).
And we have enough shared interests that we just like to be together a lot. It also helps that my job lets me have them around a lot so I can work from home when I feel like it and she and the kids can come to the office when they feel like it.
I think it's because we complement each other so well. I've very intense and obsessive and compulsive (as you all should be able to guess by now) while she's very laid back, stable, and very wise (she is a "big picture" type person).
And we have enough shared interests that we just like to be together a lot. It also helps that my job lets me have them around a lot so I can work from home when I feel like it and she and the kids can come to the office when they feel like it.
Jafo
Reply #28 Thursday, October 4, 2001 5:45 PM
Reply #28 Thursday, October 4, 2001 5:45 PM
The secret is to tie them up and beat them senselessly into submission.....[well....I think that's what my wife is trying to do]....
feline
Reply #30 Friday, October 5, 2001 10:41 AM
Reply #30 Friday, October 5, 2001 10:41 AM
i think there is a word for that Jafo
feline goes looking for a dictionarry
ah yes, here it is, 'marrage'
good old circular definitions strike again
feline goes looking for a dictionarry
ah yes, here it is, 'marrage'
good old circular definitions strike again
paxx
Reply #31 Friday, October 5, 2001 10:46 AM
Reply #31 Friday, October 5, 2001 10:46 AM
marraige, marrage...
AM the only who spells this word "marriage"?
AM the only who spells this word "marriage"?
paxx
Reply #33 Friday, October 5, 2001 10:48 AM! I'll just stop right here. My fingers just have a mind of their own today.
Reply #33 Friday, October 5, 2001 10:48 AM
! I'll just stop right here. My fingers just have a mind of their own today.
JavaBrain
Reply #34 Friday, October 5, 2001 11:47 AM
Reply #34 Friday, October 5, 2001 11:47 AM
Well, from my point of view (been married for 5 1/2 years, and been with my husband for almost 8) is that you first have to have open communication. Anywhere from talking about things that you know will piss off the other person, to trival things like "why can't you ever put the remote control back on the coffee table". (And, no, it is not my husband who always misplaces it ).
I also believe that you need to learn to grow togther. People change over time. If you do not learn to grow together, you will grow apart and eventually break up. That is why you have to be with somebody who is enough like you that you can relate to eachother, but is different enough that you are always interested in what they are doing.
And lastly, pure attraction to eachother. You don't want to end up having to have seperate bedrooms!
I also believe that you need to learn to grow togther. People change over time. If you do not learn to grow together, you will grow apart and eventually break up. That is why you have to be with somebody who is enough like you that you can relate to eachother, but is different enough that you are always interested in what they are doing.
And lastly, pure attraction to eachother. You don't want to end up having to have seperate bedrooms!
adni18
Reply #35 Friday, October 5, 2001 12:37 PM
Reply #35 Friday, October 5, 2001 12:37 PM
I am wondering why Draginol/Frogboy did post this thread...
Not that I did'nt like it, in fact I did enjoy it very much.
Not that I did'nt like it, in fact I did enjoy it very much.
Draginol
Reply #36 Friday, October 5, 2001 1:04 PM
Reply #36 Friday, October 5, 2001 1:04 PM
Frogboy has Admin access. Admin means work. I don't like work. When I'm at home, I'm on as Draginol. Meaning, no admin access. No work. Site is quicker (admin options don't get displayed). Same guy, just different accounts.
Frogboy/Draginol
Frogboy/Draginol
jebland
Reply #37 Friday, October 5, 2001 4:19 PM
Reply #37 Friday, October 5, 2001 4:19 PM
Feline...
Perhaps your paw slipped on the scroll wheel, and you missed the posts by Jafo, Dethnite and Orion. My comment was in response to those posts, and I was kidding, as I am sure they were, too.
Or were you just being "catty"?
Jebland
Perhaps your paw slipped on the scroll wheel, and you missed the posts by Jafo, Dethnite and Orion. My comment was in response to those posts, and I was kidding, as I am sure they were, too.
Or were you just being "catty"?
Jebland
Alexandrie
Reply #38 Friday, October 5, 2001 6:21 PM
Reply #38 Friday, October 5, 2001 6:21 PM
For me to have a successful marriage you need:
Love
Respect
Honesty
Communicating
If you have all ingredients listed here this is enought.
Don't think performance for sex is a priority because if you communicate with you partner you don't need to have the top partner, because you can make learn the person what you want and also you can learn togheter what you never expected from yourself.
Everything is a question of respect and communication and honesty, but you will not do this if you don't love the person. This is why I have listed them togheter.
Don't think we need passion, I think a lot of people is wrong on what passion really is. Passion is provocate by the insecurity to loose the person you share. Insecuritry can be caused by multiples events: lies, if you are not respected, when you are sad, when you think your partner loves someone else, when you think your partner will leave you, when you think your partner don't talk to you enough.
Love is supposed to gives you the feeling that you are so confortable that you don't want to move, like when you are sleeping in a so confortable position that you don't want to move a finger.
Respecting, communicating with you partner this is what is really important. People have to learn that we can not read in the mind of someone else, and they need to know by telling them, this is the most effitien way to do it. Sure we can guess, but a guess is a guess, and not always what it's supposed to be really. Being honest with your partner is not easy because you need to be honest with yourself first, that means you have to know yourself alot.
Sorry if my english is poor I'm too lazy to check what I wrote hehehehe
Please Jafo forgive me
Love
Respect
Honesty
Communicating
If you have all ingredients listed here this is enought.
Don't think performance for sex is a priority because if you communicate with you partner you don't need to have the top partner, because you can make learn the person what you want and also you can learn togheter what you never expected from yourself.
Everything is a question of respect and communication and honesty, but you will not do this if you don't love the person. This is why I have listed them togheter.
Don't think we need passion, I think a lot of people is wrong on what passion really is. Passion is provocate by the insecurity to loose the person you share. Insecuritry can be caused by multiples events: lies, if you are not respected, when you are sad, when you think your partner loves someone else, when you think your partner will leave you, when you think your partner don't talk to you enough.
Love is supposed to gives you the feeling that you are so confortable that you don't want to move, like when you are sleeping in a so confortable position that you don't want to move a finger.
Respecting, communicating with you partner this is what is really important. People have to learn that we can not read in the mind of someone else, and they need to know by telling them, this is the most effitien way to do it. Sure we can guess, but a guess is a guess, and not always what it's supposed to be really. Being honest with your partner is not easy because you need to be honest with yourself first, that means you have to know yourself alot.
Sorry if my english is poor I'm too lazy to check what I wrote hehehehe
Please Jafo forgive me
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Reply #21 Wednesday, October 3, 2001 12:35 PM
i feel that enough chocolate (and donuts of course) can solve most problems