@  iben

starkers is so old that he thought the a emachine notebook was something to do with writing on rock tablet 

Iben is so old... his first motorcycle was horse-drawn.  Seems he was sick and tired of pedaling and the internal combustion engine hadn't been invented for another 400 years.

mrs Starkers is so old... her emachine spat out a photo of her last birthday cake because the screen was incapable of fitting in all the candles.  What makes this more amazing is that it was hooked up to a 26" monitor at the time.

Here we stand on the brink of the oldest most cantankerous whatnot what ever crossed the pond and made its way to Ozdom. In point of fact this most oldest cantankerous whatnot what ever crossed the pond and made its way to Ozdom has recently harvested a fresh batch of, you guessed it, highly lethal and extremely volatile, flammable even, Curried Cabbage and thus proceeded to consume said highly lethal and extremely volatile, flammable even, Curried Cabbage and now ........ BLAM!!!!!

Oops.

Uvah is so old... he was the one wearing a clothes peg on his nose when King Tut had a curried cabbage moment in the royal tent

Dave RI is so old.... he also donned ear muffs. Apparently the sound barrier was also broken during the event.

starkers is so old ... he stitched the tent together from hand-me-downs after Noah stepped off the Ark.

Uvah is so old.... Noah looked up to him because he respected his elders.

sydneysiders is so old... she gave Noah some motherly type advice on how to live with animals in closed quarters.  Apparently she'd had prior experience with methane when livestock in the Garden of Eden had to be taken indoors to shelter from storms.

DaveRI is so old... he was the first paying passenger to be offered a berth on the Ark.  Word has it that he complained to the purser when the chief steward placed him in a cabin with female gorilla in heat.

Doc is so old... he was offered free passage if he provided free medical services.  His medical training, however, didn't prepare him for performing an appendectomy on a cow.  Apparently the four stomachs threw him off and he sliced off a teat when the scalpel slipped....

Yuck!

awwww pooor doc.

Yeah ... poor Doc. So old his first prescription was written by the light of the burning bush.

mrs starkers is so old she used the wax in her ears to fashion the first candle back in the year zero and used starkers hair for the wick which is why his pate is smoother than a newborn baby's backside.

Uvah is so old.... when he was asked by his doctor for a stool sample, he went out immediately with his flint tools and fashioned a milking-type stool out of a fallen tree and some pterodactyl bones.

Doc is so old.... he asked Uvah if he could make a cushion for it because he'd gotten piles from sitting on a cold, damp cave floor.

sydneysiders is so old.... she considers gravity her greatest enemy and now wears a bra with hydraulic support to prevent black eyes when jogging.

Uvah is so old... whenever he hears somebody stomach rumble he thinks it's Vesuvius going off again and heads for cover.

Doc is so old.... Vesuvius was on the same continent as Australia.

JPMurph is so old.... he used to hunt kangaroos in Arizona... until the great migration and continental drift saw Australia heading in a Southerly direction.

Dave Bax is so old.... he provided jpMurph with the spear.

starkers arrived not over one, but two puddles. Not by ship, however.

No, the old cheapskate took a "self powered balloon"!

And I was going great guns until I was over the Antarctic.

Yeah, the emissions from my self-propulsion unit froze in mid-air and it was slow going there for a while.

Luckily I had a packed lunch to replenish my energy levels, otherwise I might still be there chugging along.

Hehe....

Jafo is so old.... he went to the Historic Bikes at Phillip Island and realised he pre-dated all of them except the Ancient Egyptian chariot which was converted into a trike.  Hmmm, I'll bet Rameses I is turning over in his pyramid over that one.

  hehe.

     On the way to the first ever self-propelled balloon race on the shores of Godwanaland (present day Myrtle Beach) starkers and company, the erstwhile navigator Dr J' the other left' BHL, his co-pilot Wrong Way Jafo, the radio person sydney 'what you said' siders, JPMurph with his kiln to heat the air, and the ever-lovin' cute as a toe-nail on a donkey Bunk aka Po the Smedley, all waited with baited breath while the rules of the race were laid for them by none other than Shaunna 'I'll beat with a wet noodle' starkers.

     Once done and aloft, the air hot as blazes cause JPMUrph added too much buffalo dung to the fire, the motley crew caught the first breeze out of the newly established Jet Stream and at an incredible three feet per hour, very fast for the times, set course for the nerw world. The only problem was the new world hadn't been created yet. Wrong Way Jafo and his cohort Dr J 'the other left' BHL didn't bother to tell starkers and they spent the next two and a half billion years aloft waiting for the continents to take shape all the while having to listen to both sydney 'what you said' siders and Shaunna 'I'll beat you with a wet noodle' starkers harangue them for their ineptitude. And what did Bunk aka Po the Smedley do while all this was going on? He took his rubber duckey, jumped overboard and paddled his way back to the shores of Godwanaland where his sweetheart waited patiently for him to arrive and when he did she decked him. "Don't you ever strand me again you aminal you" she was heard to screech. That's MY story and I'm stickin' to it, to borrow a phrase. 

Uvah is so old... he actually remembers the art of narrative writing.

DrJBHL is so old.... the two birds in the bush [as opposed to the one in his hand] were pterodactyls.

Uvah is sol old... he believed many hands make light work, so he kindly offered Noah a hand to build the Ark.

Dave Bax is so old... he got out of Pharaoh's kitchen because he couldn't stand the heat.

sydneysiders is so old... she conveniently got out of Pharaoh's kitchen by telling him that too many cooks spoil the broth.

Starkers is so old, his birthstone is magma.

aunteachrist is so old ....... [enter gender here] first wheel prototype failed because the corners were too sharp.

Starkers is so old ...... he fashioned the chisel for aunteachrist to hone the next update.

sydneysiders is so old ....... she provided the mallet.

DaveBax is so old ...... he was the scribner what recorded the making of it.

DrJBHL is so old ...... he stood by, bandaids in hand, in case anyone mashed a thumb.

I'm so old .... I sat there eating and drinking watching the whole thing.

Uvah is so old that the he was eating went stale and the went flat, when ordering a fresh he fell off the stool cos the price was way too expencive and when it came too the    the barmaid said  oh that's a week old