Now if only you could control the nervous tic in that right foot of yours... the one that keeps the momentum of the circle going and going while you're looking over your left shoulder.  And the feeling of vertigo that comes with it is a proper basterd...especially when you have to get up to go to the toilet and the door won't stay still.

Anyhow, I've decided to dispense with stop=gap measures to fend off zombies.  So long as I have a constant supply of bowls of curried cabbage, no zombies are gunna bother me.

A tumble-dryer...

what the? WHA'??

pfelelep2.......quick look to your left and pick up whatever is there. Zombies are on the loose. They've already got the WB. Now they're lookin' to our resident redneck (hint hint) and whoever else they may corrupt.

I got this to help fend them off.

Uvah, is it my computer or is your Skeletor doin In Vogue ??

Good for headbutts!!

Nah, not In Vogue, it's the Vienna Waltz.

The plan is to get the zombies too tired out to eat brains by getting them into dance marathons.  Apparently, to get them to enter, first prize is a medium rare brain garnished with vitreous jelly   It seems nobody will miss it, either.  Word has it that it came from a politician... and he wasn't using it anyway.

Excellent suggestion. Feed them politician brains and starve them to stay-dead.

It'd be alright to feed them politicians brains if they weren't so darned expensive....

You see,, this zombie goes to his local butcher to pick up some brains and was comparing prices. Like cops brains were $4.95 per pound, engineers brains were $5.95 per pound, and a hookers brain was $7.95 per pound.  Then he notices politician brains as $295.95 a pound: "Hey, what's up with the price on politician brains, why are they so damned expensive??"

The butcher ambles over and says: "Well it's like this, hookers brains aren't as tasty or as easy to come by as engineer brains, for example... and cop brains are so cheap because they haven't been used nearly as much.

Yeah, OK, but that still doesn't explain why politician brains are $295.95 a pound."

"Well that's easy," replies the butcher: "it takes about 300 of the suckers to make up a pound."

Are you insinuating that politicians have brains the size of a walnut? Gee ... I always thought they were born with their transparencies turned all the way down to -145,634,657,876,456,213,001.0987654321 and a half. Wow. Learned somethin' new everyday.

That's probably why a lot of politicians live to a ripe old age... the zombies can see what little brain they possess with the transparency turned down that low.  They obviously think there isn't much of a meal there and move on to normal people.

Oh, and walnut I think is giving a little too much credit.  Try peanut.

Nah, more like a garbonzo. They're smaller than peanuts.

How about a pea. They're pretty small like a grain of wheat, a grain of salt, a grain of sand, an amoeba......

I dunno about a brain the size of an amoeba...but politicians sure have the decision making ability of an amoeba.

And the thing about politicians that really p's me off is when you ask one a question and he/she responds with a question to put the onus back on you.   Geez I hate that!!!   I just hope none discover our question with a question game, otherwise we'll never get a word in edgeways.

They'd put the servers into another twist for sure and that because at least the questions we ask make sense. When did you ever hear a politician ask a sensible question?

Does the sun rise in the West? (well that's the last time I heard a politician ask a sensible question)

Hehe, this is starting to look like another thread, dontcha think?

What thread might that be?

And if its a good one can we play too?

Now you wouldn't be answering my q

Woah, some strange sh!t happening here today... post goes up without submitting, and now I cant edit it... no buttons.

Anyhow., back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted...

Now you wouldn't be answering my question with a question, would ya?

Is there anyone else more qualified?

While everyone is so busy looking to your left y'all forgot to look to your right. Zombies are g-daweful ugly, not stupid. On my right is two Uzi's, three AK-47's, six plasma bombs and a flyswatter. I'm ready for 'em.

On my right is the way out.... and you know what I'd need to do for them danged zombies to find it.

If they're not looking a little green beforehand, they certainly will be after.

After they pass through the cloud of toxic waste material left over from the last curried cabbage bake they'll be lucky to still have, just about anything left. I think we found the Ultimate Weapon for the resistance. Allow me to introduce The Master Blaster of Fartdom.....none other than....our very own, one and only, like no other, one of a kind, all around do gooder and defender of the cabbage patch....you know who it is. Lets hear it for......mrs starkers.

Yup, she's the hero in my book as well.... not only for putting up with me and cooking curried cabbage, but also for not letting me forget to be grateful by reminding me with a competitive bark or three of her own.