That's rude.... but I like it.

Hehe... while I'm here.

"I'll teach that bastard to call me thunder thighs.  With curried egg sandwiches yeaterday, and curried cabbage today, I'm gonna sit on his face and give him a close encounter with some thunder from down under."

*not an entry

"There she blows!--there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill! It is Moby Dick!"

 Herman Mellville

"We're gonna need a bigger chair"

 Jaws

"No, no, don't speak--for some moments in life there are no words."

Willy Wonka

"It's Fwee Rilrwy!"

John Penet

Truman: [explaining to the Stampers about the asteroid] Even if the asteroid itself hits the water, it's still hitting land. It'll flash boil millions of galleons of sea water and slam into the ocean bedrock. Now if it's a Pacific Ocean impact, which we think it will be, it'll create a tidal wave 3 miles high, travel at a thousand miles an hour, covering California, and washing up in Denver. Japan's gone, Australia's wiped out. Half the world's population will be incinerated by the heat blast, and the rest will freeze to death from nuclear winter.

"It's what we call a global killer"

Armageddon

"My God. It's full of stars."

Dave Bowman - 2001 SPace Odyssey

Yeah!  Come on people.... we're light on with entries here.  Farts are universally funny and they need to be celebrated... here... right now... by you.

While I'm here....

"Thank goodness I tied double bows on both sides.... otherwise that one would've blown my bikini bottom clean across the county and Newtown experiences an total eclipse of the sun"

Seriously....try and squeeze something between my buttcheeks!

*an ass on steroids...a fart on curried cabbage.

*the sound of one cheek clapping....the smell...ACK!

*Three Mile Island? The China Syndrome? Naah...nuclear apocalypse holds no candle to you, skinhit dear.

*A shack in the Himalayas looks real good around now.

*(voice by Edward R. Murrow) "The world ended today not with a bang, as some would have thought, nor by nuclear war triggered by a Terrorist attack, but rather by an obscure housewife from Notsogoodna, Australia who consumed a neighbor's left over curried cabbage and a flagon of Cooper's which percolated in her abdomen and was forced at incredible pressure through her huge, ham hock thighs directly through the core of the earth, splitting it in two. The sad truth? The world, all life and six thousand years of human civilization were ended with the keening whistle of a wet, supersonic fart."

Just in it for the fun, Mark. None of mine should be considered for any sub...ok, mate?

Po: That's John Pinette...... (one of my favourite funny men!)

Hehe... I like that one.

Or.....

"Hey Honey!!!  If I can crack a walnut between my butt cheeks... why the hell can't I hold in a wet fart?"

Still need more people... more entries.

*Greta, either you just farted or I heard your maxi pad sing "You are the wind beneath my wings".

*Greta, with those thighs and buttcheeks your ass is so tight: You fart and only dogs can hear it.

*Greta.....laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they stop laughing breathing.

I got the cabbage up there, I just caaan't get it out! ooof - gaaah!!

One small fart for(wo)man, one giant skitter for mankind!

not an entry**

* um well dear..while it is more convienient than lugging around a cooler..it does not keep the beer as cold..*

**I think you are ready to take starkers on for the "gas king" title this year babe, but here have another bowl of chili just in case*

* yeh thats right....shes goin home with me...eat ur hearts out**

**Space... the final frontier.....**

* I'm glutious of borg.... Prepeare to be ASSimilated**

Dam girl, you broke the chair again!  Farking ThighMaster!

*Singing in my best Freddy Mercury impression possible* 

Fat bottomed girls you make the Rockin' world go round...

Get on your bikes and ride!!!

(by the way....that song is going to be in my head for the rest of the day and part of tomorrow now.)

"Mama.... just killed a man

 Put my buns against his hed

 Let one rip and now he's dead.

 Mama, his life had just begun

 But now I've gone and blown him all away

 Mama.... oo-oo-oooh,

 didn't mean to make you cry

 If he's not revived by this time tomorrow

 I'll carry on, carry on

 Cos curried cabbage is all that really matters....."  

Ditto, Karen..... DITTO! 

LOL

More bastardized Queen songs for this:

Tonight Im gonna have myself a real good fart
I feel alive and the cabbage turning my guts inside out yeah!
And floating around in gassy ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
Cause Im having a good time having a good time

My gas is a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
It's a racing car passing by like lady godiva
Im gonna go go go
There's no stopping me

It's burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me mister fahrenheit
It's travling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Don't stop me now Im having such a good fart
Im having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna smell a bad fart just give me a call
Don't stop me now (cause Im havin a good fart)
Don't stop me now (yes Im havin a good fart)
I don't want to stop at all

*Greta...there are folks who pay $30 a year to read threads about your farts!

Yup, that's gold.  However, if I had been you, I woulda bastardised it that bit more and changed from it "Mister Farenheit" to Mistress Farenheit.... to personalise, er, make it more in the first pesron.

Oh no
Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I think I farted again, I made people leave,
Offended my fans.
Oh baby
, I just gave it a push,
I didnt know it was that serious,
I could knock down wild horses,
That smell's so fragrant to me.

Oh baby, baby
Oops, Im breaking some wind,
I ripped a big fart, I feel so ashamed,
Oh baby, baby,
Please dont think Im a hog, I swear its the dog,
I've got that flatulence.

Yes your bum does look bigger in them.