Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
More Opinions Needed!!
Saturday, April 18, 2009 by RedneckDude | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider in formation.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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Reply #42 Tuesday, April 21, 2009 8:11 AM
e bay's runnin' a sale on chicken feathered stuff. Road is extra.
Reply #43 Tuesday, April 21, 2009 8:16 AM
News flash---ADS by Google:
Indian Chicken Recipes
Chicken Pox Rash
Chicken Coup Design
Chicken Pens and...
Chicken Runs
No kidding. I'm getting this stuff off the page I'm on. Wierd!!
Reply #44 Tuesday, April 21, 2009 8:51 AM
Q:Why do chicken coups have two doors?
A: Because if they had four doors they would be a sedan.
Reply #46 Tuesday, April 21, 2009 10:14 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road?
For foul reasons.
Reply #47 Friday, April 24, 2009 1:50 PM
Why did the chicken cross the road: because she was scared sh!tless by the Borg waving his implant vigorously at her.
Reply #48 Friday, April 24, 2009 2:07 PM
Why did the chicken cross the state line? To get out of Kentucky.
Reply #50 Friday, April 24, 2009 10:33 PM
I believe the chicken was rash in its decision to cross the road and not use the nearby pedestrian crossing
Reply #52 Saturday, April 25, 2009 7:02 AM
Not all chickens cross the road:
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him. The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?" The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how they tasted. The farmer said, "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."
Reply #53 Saturday, April 25, 2009 7:11 AM
Newton Chicken : Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!
Windows 7 Chicken : Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
OS/2 Chicken : It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Win XP Chicken : You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ...chicken.
Mac Chicken : No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.
Bill Gates : I have just released the new Chicken 2009, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, although dividing 3 by 2 will get you 1.4999999999.
Microsoft Chicken (TM) : It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
Java Chicken : If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets!)
C Chicken : It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken : The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.
VB Chicken : USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)
OOP Chicken : It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
Assembler Chicken : First it builds the road ...
Delphi Chicken : The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Web Chicken : Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
Gopher Chicken : Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
Lotus Chicken : Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
COBOL Chicken :
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM
0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1
UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Reply #54 Saturday, April 25, 2009 7:20 AM
Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
Jean-Paul Sartre : In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Immanuel Kant : The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.
Reply #55 Saturday, April 25, 2009 7:55 AM
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him. The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?" The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how they tasted. The farmer said, "Don't know, haven't caught one yet
Reply #56 Saturday, April 25, 2009 7:57 AM
Hey Wiz....as I told Immanuel, "I Kant understand you."
At the risk of totally dating myself:
Reply #57 Saturday, April 25, 2009 8:01 AM
I think this time I have found the answer.... here
Reply #58 Saturday, April 25, 2009 8:05 AM
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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road. . . |
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COLIN POWELL 
RALPH NADER 
PAT BUCHANAN 
BARBARA WALTERS 
Reply #60 Saturday, April 25, 2009 8:23 AM
I didn't look to see if that had been posted I do appoligise, I also appoligise if this one has been up as well.... 
- KFC was on the same side he was on
- What chicken?
- Because he/she was going to a rally
- She thought that the sign that said 'Butcher Shop' said 'Chicken beauty parlor'.
- To be killed at the neighbor's house.
- To get to the other side! Duh!!!
- To create an existential quantry in a quantum universe?
- Because it felt motivated to do so
- It was just going that way!
- Because it was running from new chicken-killing technology.
- To watch the community T.V.
- It saw the rooster on the other side and wanted to get laid
- BLAHHHHHHH
- Fresh Clic, 1deuce7 and tht krazed looney all day every day
- The chicken crossed the road because he wanted to!
Cuz its penis got ran over by a truck and it needed to go to the hospital
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Reply #41 Tuesday, April 21, 2009 3:50 AM
So then it mean that i can't laugh
....seriously.... maybe i post a T&C that sometimes my post may contain sarcarsm....
Take care,
The Drunk Chicken (with a pool)
Well, it's easier to remember a good laugh made sober.