Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
More Opinions Needed!!
Saturday, April 18, 2009 by RedneckDude | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider in formation.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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Reply #22 Sunday, April 19, 2009 12:29 PM
Since the chicken does not know what a road is and thus does not know what he is crossing the chicken has no known reason to cross the road.
Reply #25 Sunday, April 19, 2009 1:10 PM
Yup, got it becoz she wasn't imprisoned.....
Hence free to go anywhere... Still, why did she cross she could well have done other things instead. Why there are mongo in mongo's tree why not oranges or apples.
Or she would have seen the green signal to move. But there was a red signal too at the other road. Why had she not seen that red signal. Moreover why the signal wasn't blue or pink? Or black and white as its an old truth!
Can anyone tell me the exact reason why?
Reply #27 Sunday, April 19, 2009 1:54 PM
Ozzy osbourne: The *bleeping* chicken crossed the *bleeping* road because it *bleeping well knew I was *bleeping* well gonna be on *bleeping* stage tonight and wos gonna *bleeping* bite its *beeping* head off.
Alice Cooper: Uhhhh! So, that's where my snake's dinner got to.
Rob Zombie: chickens don't cross roads.. not after we've performed voodoo using chicken claws.
Dolly Parton: And Daddy plucked that chicken, for that coat of many feathers my momma made for me.
Reply #28 Sunday, April 19, 2009 6:12 PM
Good one!!
Reply #29 Sunday, April 19, 2009 8:21 PM
Wizard1956 got it right on the proverbial nailhead. I agree with him.
Reply #30 Sunday, April 19, 2009 9:36 PM
It was the egg that came first, reptiles were laying eggs long before the chicken ever evolved..........Oops!....wrong thread, sorry!
Reply #31 Sunday, April 19, 2009 9:42 PM
The chicken crossed the road to see a man lay bricks! 
Reply #33 Sunday, April 19, 2009 10:11 PM
The chicken stopped half-way there because a hatch-back was coming and nearly got run over by a yolkswagon.
Reply #34 Sunday, April 19, 2009 11:31 PM
Actually i laughed ... but that was after 16 vodka drink plus all hate emails from Island Dog*,and so on...
** ID didn't send me any hate mails, it is probably written to his DNA that he must hate me. I have made public "apologies" but those are rejected.... ok thosr apologies was only side notes,,,,, so i need to make a own thread to.....
Nevermind, give me karma, if u like to know more....
and most likely u don't cares a **** so why u read this message.....
Well buy a pool and lie that u r rich.....
Reply #36 Monday, April 20, 2009 7:33 AM
Richard M Nixon:
I can state, quite categorically, I have no knowledge of any chicken crossing a road.
Reply #37 Monday, April 20, 2009 7:48 AM
The more important question is do you care? I quit drinking in 1991...completely. I was just a few years older than you are now. I wasn't happy with the person I saw in the mirror anymore.I also joked about it or made excuses for it. Eventually you will be the only one laughing,but only on the outside.
Has sobriety made my life easier? No. Has it made life fair? Also no. Life doesn't come with any guarantees. Am I happy with who I am today? You can bet your ass I am.I have more fun being sober than I ever did drinking.I also don't have to ask my friends what I did the night before. ( or drive the porcelin bus on a world tour)
I hope you think about this when you aren't drinking and find some help when you are ready.
/End serious post
Reply #39 Monday, April 20, 2009 5:03 PM
I quit drinking nearly 8 years ago now, and I agree with everything you say, Wiz.... except that not drinking does make life a little easier. Now I have a clear head and I'm better able to reason/conduct myself with greater respect for myself and others... and thus, my relationships with family and friends have improved out of sight.
Yup, quitting the drink was the best thing I ever did. I was not a happy drunk cos depression and alcohol don't mix well, so while I was not violent, I certainly was a morbid and morose drunk who brought everyone else down. Thankfully, those days are over and I'm in control again. I still suffer with bouts of depression from time to time, but being 100% sober means I can deal with it so much more easily.
The drunk: Is that a 'pink' chicken I spy crossing the road there? 
Reply #40 Monday, April 20, 2009 6:56 PM
Quoting ThePhantasma, reply 9Actually i laughed ... but that was after 16 vodka drink plus all hate emails from Island Dog*,and so on...
Perhaps you should stop posting stuff after 16 vodka drinks?
So then it mean that i can't laugh 
....seriously.... maybe i post a T&C that sometimes my post may contain sarcarsm....
Take care,
The Drunk Chicken (with a pool)
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Reply #21 Sunday, April 19, 2009 12:26 PM
Trent Reznor: I want to cluck you like an animal.
Ehm.... It is from one of my fav NIN songs...