You should be feeling "sheepish" after that one.

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." ...that`s my fave

Does that refer to 'alleged' activities in NZ,,, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous???

That reminds me of a question my first wife asked.  She wanted to know what I'd do if I came home from work and found her making love to another man.

I answered: I'd kick his seeing eye dog and break his white cane.

Newest H1N1 flu mask.

of course Starkers should be careful before using his!

Doc getting ready for Thanksgiving guests.

MY EYES! MY EYES!

Looks like he needs a new arse.... his has a huge crack in it.

Your Eyes???  The photographer hasn't been the same since. 

Apparently he winced and his eyelids melded shut tight for fear Doc would bend over to pick up the quarter he dropped.

Oh Ed.....

Oh no, not ANOTHER D.R.E..  You owe me dinner first.  You only need one glove by the way.

 Mrs. Staarkers @ 259

Actually....you're the one who asked for both hands last time...remember? 

I'm not going there anymore.  My doctors do that for real enough here.  I'm not sure why at times.  Haven't gotten a dinner yet.

HAHAHAHA!!!! Do you realize what you just wrote? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

BTW, I think I look good with wigs...and 'at least' you caught my better side.  

How Pumpkin Pie Is Made

Redneck Logic

Change that to 'South Carolina' and welcome to my hell.

Subject: Obama health care
>
> The American
> Medical Association has weighed in on the new Obama health
> care proposals.  The Allergists voted to scratch
> it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash
> moves.  The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling
> about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration
> had a lot of nerve.The Obstetricians felt they
> were all laboring under a misconception.  Ophthalmologists
> considered the idea shortsighted.  Pathologists yelled,
> "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said,
> "Oh, Grow up!"The Psychiatrists thought
> the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see
> right through it.  Surgeons decided to wash their hands of
> the whole thing.  The Internists thought it was a bitter
> pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This
> puts a whole new face on the
> matter...."The Podiatrists thought it was a
> step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the
> whole idea.  The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea
> was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart
> to say no.In the end, the Proctologists won
> out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in
> Washington.

Children Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find  North America  .
MARIA:         Here it  is.
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
____________________________________  

TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables..
__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  

(I  Love this child)
____________________________________________

TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
__________________________________

TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:       Me!
__________________________________________  

TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.  
_______________________________________

TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '
MILLIE:           I  is..
TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:          All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'    
________________________________

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  
                    Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand....    
______________________________________  

TEACHER:    Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  
______________________________

TEACHER:       Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE  :         No, sir. It's the same dog.  
___________________________________

TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher