You know you are addicted to technology when...
Thursday, December 4, 2008 by ALMonty | Discussion: Community
You know you are addicted to technology when...
You can't sit through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends", but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
In computer shops, you eavesdrop on a salesman talking with customers, butt in to correct him and spend 20 minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesman stands by silently, nodding his head.
You say "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels saying it.
You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say "digital compression". Everyone understands what you mean and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
You say "voice number" instead of "phone number" as the majority of phone lines in any house are linked to contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
You back up your data every day.
On holiday, you read a computer manual and turn the pages faster than those who read John Grisham novels.
You go to trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you can't give someone directions to your house without looking up street names.
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
You understand all these jokes.
If so, technology has taken over your life. We suggest you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
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Reply #82 Saturday, December 20, 2008 5:58 PM
I think it would be great if your computer and microwave could join by USB, considering that they don't get along well together at the moment
. Who wants a pizza when you can have a cookie?
Reply #83 Saturday, December 20, 2008 6:11 PM
You know you're addicted to technology when your rectal thermometer HAS to be digital.
Reply #86 Saturday, December 20, 2008 8:00 PM
Is it wrong to want a tower that can double as a toaster oven? 
The built-in CD racks on my desk are ok.. but they should be wider, so I can fit crumpets in them, bread stores ok 
Reply #87 Saturday, December 20, 2008 11:45 PM
Or get into to worse trouble by saying that your implant has a virus. 
I don't have a rectal one, but I have a digital regular one
And does it work just the same??
Reply #89 Sunday, December 21, 2008 9:11 AM
And is that the same thermometer you use when the cats get sick???
Reply #90 Sunday, December 21, 2008 4:53 PM
lol I don't use one, they never get sick 
except when Pebbles broke open a glow stick [lucky it was non toxic] but her head was glowing for an hour, and I'm there chasing her everywhere so I can grab her and rinse her mouth out, and we had no light globes working, lucky she ate the glow stick, or I wouldn't have known where she was
Reply #92 Tuesday, December 23, 2008 2:12 AM
Hehe, that's like when I was pondering what I'd write next on an Xmas card and accidentally bit the end off one of those green glitter pens and ingested some... the next curried cabbage bark had me walking around like a tinsel covered 'Incredible Hulk' for the next two days. 
Keith Richards goes to rehab for drug addiction; Amy winehouse goes to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction, and David Duchovny goes to rehab for sex addiction... so is there somewhere we can go for tech addiction???
You know you're addicted to technology when you're looking at a standard toothbrush and wondering where the batteries go.
Reply #94 Tuesday, December 23, 2008 2:59 AM
Ahem.. he's a sex addict?
Where can I find Agent Mulder
You could always make it public that Pebbles has been abducted by aliens and hope he shows up on the doorstep. 
Oh, and if Scully's with him... send her to my place. 
You know you'e addicted to technology when Mulder turns up on your doorstep asking what you know about alien devices.
Reply #95 Tuesday, December 23, 2008 3:39 AM
haha! I actually have Mulder & Scully's autograph
Addicted to technology when you try to IM folks with your microwave buttons 
Reply #96 Tuesday, December 23, 2008 10:59 AM
I had to quit using the electric blanket technology. Peed the bed and damned near electrocuted myself.
Reply #98 Wednesday, December 24, 2008 12:37 AM
I just tried to turn the DVD player on with my mouse
*Genuine shocked expression here folks* It didn't work
Reply #99 Wednesday, December 24, 2008 1:00 AM
You know you're addicted to technology when you look at the electric carving knife and wish all your cutlery was electric as well.
Hehe... reminds me of my next door neighbour when I was a kid in England. We used to cut across a cow pasture as a shortcut to the beach, and 9 times out of 10 he would go to the drinking trough for the cattle and pee in it. Well one evening on our way home from the beach (he wasn't with us that day), another neighbour and I redirected the electric fence a little to connect the end to the trough, knowing that the next morning 'Dougal" would pee in it for sure....
LOL, he did orright... and I've never gotten the look on his face 
out of my mind, even going on 40 years later. Yeah, I know, it was cruel... but then he shouldn't have been peeing in the cattle trough. BTW, the cattle had previously been rotated to another pasture so it did not affect them.... we just wished that the farmer had moved them sooner, we had been itching for ages to pull that one on him.
That's nuffink... I just cooked crumpets in the VCR.
Reply #100 Wednesday, December 24, 2008 1:32 AM
That's nuffink... I just cooked crumpest in the VCR.
Successfully?
I stuck bread in my old VCR, but it didn't cook it well enough, and forget doing grilled cheese that was a complete and utter failure my friend, there was cheese all over my GodFather video, some would say that was cheesy enough, meh.. Technology is a bitch.
This is why I got a DVD player, in the hopes that it would do grilled cheese and crumpets.. muffins and the like.. but it's USELESS I tell you, USELESS
For all the bloody good it did I may as well have done something stupid, like try to play a movie in it!
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Reply #81 Saturday, December 20, 2008 5:38 PM
LOL @ Ed
C'mon guys, help me out, is their a USB for a microwave? then I really wouldn't have to get up again, Oh, and the floppy drive, can't I increase the size so pizza can slide in?