Now there's another conspiracy that really gets my goat - he prefers his cereal in the afternoons - that Kellogs and the like try to get us buying their product on a 'so-say' health kick.   And what really pissed me off was when the sales of corn flakes went down and Kellogs came up with this brilliant idea to have our kids nag like crazy for corn flakes by tossing a bit of suger over them, repackaging them in a box with a tiger pic on it, calling them Frosties and charging twice the price for the privelege. 

Bastards, like they hadn't already wrung enough money out of us from throwing a bit of cocoa over 'Rice Crispies' and calling them Coco Pops!  I mean, it's not like these damned cereals are that good for our kids... what with all the preservatives, artificial colourings and added sugar!  Like have you ever seen a hyper-active kid on Froot Loops?  It's very much like an athlete is when on steroids and speed, laced with Ecstacy and Viagra to envigorate the passion and stiffen the resolve to win.  Yup, hypo kids on Froot loops are unstoppable, and all those artificial colours have them so hyped up that they're hell bent on ripping the playground equipment out of schoolyard and wanting to take it home cos mum and dad can't afford it after spending huge wads of cash on breakfast cereals.

And, you know, it's these poor kids who grow up to be mesmerised by the dynamic ribbon and drink coke mixed with alcohol and end up sitting atop flagpoles stark bollock naked with a smoke hanging out their mouths.  I don't blame my parents for giving me Froot Loops (which ended up transcending to Coke, then alcohol mixed with coke, thus causing me to climb the cop shop flag pole stark bollock naked) but the chemists and marketing gurus who conspired to make these products irresistable to poor unsuspecting and innocent kids.  It's just NOT the parents faults... those "I want Froot Loops" tantums at the supermarket were only forgivable the once... after that parents bought the Froot Loops without a fight so's they could show their faces at the store again.  Kellogs know this, and that's why their marketing boffins keep coming out with 'new' and tastier cereals the kids must have... or else.

That was sheer brilliance starkers!!!!!

Also.. they tell us breakfast is the most important meal of the day?

BULL.. I haven't eaten breakfast since 1980 and I never will either.

For one, unless you've been "active" most of the night instead of sleeping.. then your body has been doing nothing.. but idling.. therefore requiring nothing when you wake up.. you're not burning enough energy in your sleep to make breakfast imperitive.. right?

One could argue that you need breakfast to start off your day.. but if you're not hungry, and you pack on the calories before work, or whatever.. you're going to start your day feeling sluggish, and bloated!

Why thank you!  I like conspiracy theories and making up a load of old bollocks for a giggle, so if can give a giggle to others from something I enjoy doing, it's a bonus and helps make my day.

I haven't eaten breakfast in almost 40 years anf it has done me no harm.  Even when I was working 12 -14 hours a day moving people, most often I would only have an evening meal and nothing else to eat all day, just plenty of water/drink.  Now that is hard work requiring a lot of enegy and strength, and I did it on just one meal per day without ill-effect.

Exactly!  That's why these days I get stuck into the cereal late afternoons... to avoid getting weighed down and feeling sluggish in the mornings. Like I don't need any help in getting off to a slow start these days, so I ravenously consume cereal in the afternoon so I have a slow start to my evenings instead.

However, no matter how tempting they look, all pretty colours in a brightly decorated and highly inviting package, I avoid Froot Loops like the plague... well these days I do.  Last time I ate them, I was with my mother in the supermarket and threw an almighty tantrum until she bought a couple of packs.  Poor mother, she had an awful time, embarrassingly trying to explain why her 54 y/o son was chucking a mental in the cereal aisle, on his back on the floor and throwing his arms and legs every which way but loose. 

Yup, Kellogs have a lot to answer for, not to mention explaining to do!  It's a known fact that artificial colouring and preservatives in food can cause hyperactive kids behavioural problems - those supermarket tantrums - yet they still put them in Froot Loops and other cereals... all in the name of profit and to drive up sales through parental embarrassment.

All I can say is that it's just as well GWB doesn't eat Froot Loops and drink Coke from the bottle (his minders pour it into glasses so he doesn't see the hypnotic dynamic ribbon and become mesmerised (not that anyone would really notice) by it), otherwise there'd be a cop shop somewhere in Washington missing the top of its flagpole.  Given that he's one muppet who's come in for special attention from the Puppetmaster, there's probably one or three cop shops in Washington that can be thankful they've not lost a lot more than just the tops.

In reality ALL of water on the earth has been in some kind of animals pee. Drink up!

Yes, I drink nothing but water, or recycled piss.

LMAO!!!!

I did that to my grandmother when I was 5, I took my clothes off in the supermarket and ran around nekkid until she got me what I wanted.. then copped a hiding later on

Hmmm, seems to me you had a thing for getting nekkid at a very early age.  Having just come fron the 'If I' thread and seeing there that nekkid huggles are in the offing, I'm pleased... er, relieved that you didn't grow out of it.  Unlike my first wife, who liked to get nekkid in her younger days, but who as she got older, started to wear loose-fitting neck to toe jump suits to ensure everything was covered up... hidden completely from my view.

That too, of course, was part of a much larger conspiracy engineered by the textile companies to sell more fabric after the hot pants craze.  My ex wasn't into hot pants (and if she had've been I still would never have gotten her out of them), but the textile companies teamed up with fashion gurus to make these 'cover up everything' jump suits the must have fashion statement of the century and targetted women just like my ex with ads like: "Tired of men ogling your body, sick of your partner finding easy access to have his wicked way with you, then get a cover-all jump suit with lockable zipper to keep prying eyes and wandering hands off your assets.  That, and womens lib, killed off post-marital relations, all in the name of selling a few more yards of fabric and tens of thousands of zippers, not to mention the padlocks, which were designed to look like feminine fashion accessories, when in actual fact they were really 'get the f**k out of my space statements.

Fortunately for mankind, the condom manufacturers saw a decline in sales as a result of this and teamed up with sassy French fashion designers to reintroduce the mini skirt as being the fashion must have... which is a good thing because otherwise the divorce rate would be up, suiting perfectly the divorce lawyers who make bundles of cash from other peoples misery.

You see, there's a conspiracy behind every corporate desk and in every covert corner frequented by big and small businesses alike, so isn't it fortunate that I started this thread so people can be made aware of conspiracies they've never even heard of,  Yup, it's my community service to all the average joes who would otherwise get sucked in chewed up spat out and ripped off.

hehe I'm actually really shy, seriously

Ok.. conspiracy theory.. I'm starting to think Doc [JBHL] is right.. I think my cat is plotting against me.. she keeps jumping on my keyboard and making posts under my name.. she posted that nekkid stuff the little bugger!

'skinhit' spelled sideways is 'hi stink'

coincidence?

Yes... yes Bill.. Bill has a plan, it started off with win95.. an implant here and there until one bug grew into a bigger bug , all just stepping stones prequalling his enormous fortune, and now he has the means to be drug overlord.. wait.. no, that was Tony Montana!!

Crackers the clown is really  a T.Y.P secret agent (telstra yellow pages)

Steven Speilberg is an alien... (how typical of him to fuck with the plot of indiana jones and mix myan with aliens....*rolls eyes*...its proof enough for me.

WC has not one "send HG free pizza" button. A total conspiracy by Zu to keep the masses from sending me life sustaining Pizza, so he can hoarde it for himself.  Just like them karma points...  HG_Eliminator wonders if them points are actually pizza points used to tabulate the amount of pizza one will recieve this year.......  Sneaky buggers.. 

HG_Eliminator wanders off after spotting a shiny tin foil hat to wear..

lolol

Ohh Kitty, don't you just despise telstra   bastards sent cops to my house and all I did was threaten to blow up their main building   <---- Genuinly confused look.

 j/j  or.. am I

Here ya go....these will get your conspiracy juices flowin!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt1Lo-WPDQg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hdvbp3izSAI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEzly4w3s5o&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZ5qsBf0kCI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCZne25GocI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKyDGzRDGos&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nD7dbkkBIA&feature=related

I've often wondered about him... why he goes around public phones replacing the white pages with its yellow counterpart.  And it's really annoying because you then have to ring the operator to get private numbers.  I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if all the operators were polite and helpful, but alas, not all of them are.  Like the other day, I had to call the operator to get a private house number and she abused me for not looking it up in the phone book. Hah, me being the smart arse, however, didn't refer to there being no phone book, instead got angry and said: "Look, lady, I can't effing read, and it's your job to give me the effing nimber I effing well want... and if you can't do that without abusing me because I can't read, then I'm effing well going to the anti-discrimination board to effing well report you."

That did the trick... I got the number I wanted and a very polite "now you have a very nice day and thank you for calling".  But yeah, there's definitely a Telstra conspiracy going on, and I think it has to do with the executive stress levels, with Telstra being cheapskates on getting them proper stress and anger management courses.  No, what they do is put stressed and angry executives on the switchboard to take operator inquiries until they've abused enough customers to get it out of their systems.

Yeah, it all makes sense now!  To ensure they get enough operator calls for these stressed out execs to burn off all that pent up aggression, they get Crackers the clown to go around removing the White Pages from public phone booths.  It's just not right, you call to get a number they've denied access to, and then have some stressed out exec read you the riot act for not using the phone book that isn't there.  So yeah, thanks for bringing this one up, Kitty.  Now I'm going to my equally useless member of parliament to complain under the Telecommunications Act about the whole shamozzle.

I have long suspected Zubaz of being involved in the great pizza conspiracy, and your bringing it to my attention gives greater rise to the theory that he is in fact coveting karma points to exchange them for pizza at a later date... probably around Xmas time when he has all his rellies around and doesn't wanna spend up big on feeding them all.

I dunno if there's some kind of Pizza Board you can go to about it, but if I were you, HG, I'd be checking it out and making a complaint about the 'near' monopolization of karma points by one person, thus eliminating the opportunity to others to obtain pizza exchanges.  It's almost as bad as the bank execs awarding themselves all those fat bonuses... well maybe not quite, but it's still an abuse of executive powers  and there should probably be a Senate inquiry into it.

Yeah, the bastards did the same thing to me... sent the cops around cos I told the operator that I was having curried cabbage for dinner and threatened to go into the office the next day to sort 'em out with a few 'rippers'  Yeah, well, the cops didn't do much about it.  By rights they were supposed to lock me up for making a terrorist type threat to a semi-government installation, but when they discovered that I had aleady eaten the curried cabbage they wisely decided against it.

The conspiracy deepens (does it ever 'shallow'? hmmm...) Now we have Mod v. Mod warfare...or, as Po'smedly spells (sideways) it's dom-dom (using the dipthong....dum-dum).

Shlemiel: The one who spills the soup (souper)

Slemazal: The one the soup lands on (soupee)

Shebang: The word you're looking for. In Yiddish it would be "Megilla".

You're checked out on Pyrate and (occasionally) English, but from Yiddish, you don't know.

Now then, as to the significance of Pizza to this conspiracy. Pizza (Itl.): A circular food resembling a cat run over on a loaf of bread.

As everyone knows, pizza is an Italian and Sicilian food (the latter make a rectangular form which when holding it's form and exiting the body produces the degree of savagery and belligerance required to be a member OF WHAT???

La Familia.... Translation?

The Family!!!!

karma points. A ridiculous, self serving positive reinforcement device with which helpless consumers of SD floppyware (software so soft it can't get hard disks...lusky how my c's and s's mix places, no?). They have to play nice with each other and the overlords (admin)  and their paid lackeys the WHAT? Mods which is WHAT backwards? The Doms  (or??? yes...Dons).

And what are the Dons? The heads of the Family. Now as to this semi mythical figure all the little folks love to chase around: Zubaz. While enforcing the will of the "Capo di tutti Capi" (or tuttifrutti) who is the head of what? The Syndicate (council ofwhat? Dons!). He endears himself by mispelling words while wearing striped pants and accumulating by nefarious means these worthless karma points...which the brainwashed and implant ridden denizens thirst after while creating bizarre pictures and using the floppyware that damages their expensive computers turning them into "bricks" or expensive paper weights.

Do you begin to understand?

Now wot makes ye fink I be checked out on Pyrate?   But yer right, I 'aves no idear 'bout that thar Yiddish stuff... I be a bit of a schmuk when it comes t' that, so fanks fer tha lesson... tho I always thort a shebang wos wot it wos when tha missus give I a slap 'longside me ear fer bein' wikked sumtimes.