Murphy's Laws
How many are there out there"
Wednesday, November 12, 2008 by DrJBHL | Discussion: Community
I for one have always enjoyed the sardonic wisdom of Murphy's Laws. There appear to loads of them, corollaries and extensions too!
The rules? 1. No big 'G''ing answers, please.
2. No "Overkill" just one or two per post...gotta leave some for others, right?
3. Have fun!
To get it started: 1. Whatever can go wrong, will.
2. What ever can go wrong will, at the most inopportune time and you will be blamed.
Let the games begin!
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Reply #102 Tuesday, November 25, 2008 3:01 AM
If in doubt... try every option until one works, but be prepared to take the blame for those that didn't. 
Reply #103 Tuesday, November 25, 2008 8:49 AM
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Reply #104 Thursday, November 27, 2008 3:19 PM
Agnes Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of
Law Of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage
> Jenning's Corollary: The chance of the bread falling butter side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet
Reply #105 Thursday, November 27, 2008 4:00 PM
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.
Always make sure the word "Claymore" is facing "away".
Reply #106 Thursday, November 27, 2008 5:27 PM
Murphy's Rule Of Lists: In any "complete list" the most important item will be left off.
Reply #107 Thursday, November 27, 2008 5:29 PM
O'Tooles's commentary on Murphy's Laws: Murphy was an optimist.
Reply #108 Thursday, November 27, 2008 5:53 PM
Never worry about the falling tree branch with your name on it. Instead, worry about the falling tree addressed, "To whom it may concern"
Reply #109 Thursday, November 27, 2008 11:28 PM
I thought Murphy was a pessimist...go figger.
If it can go wrong, it will and it will happen to me and it will be at the worst possible time. Murphy's main law.
Reply #110 Friday, November 28, 2008 2:56 AM
I thought he was a bigamist... and the reason he was so miserable/pessimistic was having two mother-in-laws.
Reply #111 Friday, November 28, 2008 2:56 PM
Murphy's Law of English: Pommies The English can't speak nor write English to wit (that be givin' yer 'arf): " two mother-in-laws." Should be: two mothers-in-law.
Law of Hammers: The more delicate the instrument, the better hammer it becomes.
Reply #114 Saturday, November 29, 2008 6:41 AM
Personally I always thought that Murphy was a pragmatist.
This is one of my favourite sayings and is known as 'Blaauw's Law' in my canon.
Jones' Law: The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
Peers' Law: The solution to a problem changes the problem.
Reply #115 Saturday, November 29, 2008 6:58 AM
Zubaz's Law of Programming:
Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.
Reply #116 Saturday, November 29, 2008 7:38 AM
Life's a bitch... then you marry and discover your mother-in-law's a worse one.
Reply #117 Sunday, November 30, 2008 12:46 AM
I must say that I have a rather awesome mother in law. And she gets me. Not very many people do. She has an awesome sense of humor too.
Reply #118 Sunday, November 30, 2008 5:35 AM
I had a mother-in-law like that once... more is the pity I didn't marry her instead, she definitely was the nicer person at the end of the day. We remained friends for years after 'that wife' took off for greener? pastures, but unfortunately we both moved and ended up losing touch.
Reply #119 Sunday, November 30, 2008 7:24 AM
Here's one for the starkers:
About "that wife": Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed.
Reply #120 Sunday, November 30, 2008 12:05 PM
About "that wife": Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed.
That one dragged herself off to somebody elses bed, found out she didn't like it/wasn't as good as she'd hoped and wanted to come back to muggins. Not bloody likely! Like I said to her: "You made... er wanted to try out another bed, go lay in it!"
There's an old Confucious saying: "Woman who goes away because of itch bound to come back with clabs!? 
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Reply #101 Tuesday, November 25, 2008 12:54 AM
Mencken's Law: There is always an easy solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
Allen's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.