I am almost falling asleep at the computer of Borg.... I'm off to bed now.   Wake me at a quarter to assimilation and bring my breakfast on a tray with the morning edition of the Implant Gazette.

Pleasant dreams my friend.

I am now wide awake of Borg.... where's my f**ken breakfast?

Waking up in the morning person of Borg ...... Where's the falling asleep at the computer of Borg's breakfast. I told you it must not be late at any time so hop to it.

Keep yer shirt on McDuff. I can only assimilate so fast. (This from the Backwoods Person of Borg who's out to assimilate all the non-rednecks)

I am Redneck Sam of Borg... get out of it, Backwoods Person of Borg, I dun don't need no competition vyin' fer thu affacshuns of mah sistah.

I am Sister of Sam of Borg.... whar do yah get off saying that, Sam, if'n I wants sum of what Sandra Bullock wus havin' I'll have me sum Jesse James an' thar ain't nuffin' ya'll can do 'bout it.

I am Clerk of the Court of Borg... Redneck sam of Borg... did you know that incest is illegal in this state?

I am Redneck Sam of Borg.... that don't matter none 'round here none.... Pa' done hates thu goddam smell of that stuff in thu house anyhow.

I am Blue of Borg ... I heard there's a redneck about. I want to know if he wants to make purple.

I am Yellow of Borg... yer outta luck, Blue of Borg.  Redeneck and I here with our hands all over each other squeezing orange.

I am Green of Borg... just so's they can't go sweep it under the carpet and pretend I don't exist, I am the illegitimate child of Blue and Yellow of Borg.

I am Rainbow of Borg... I've been into the pants of every colour, so it could well be I'm yer daddy, Green of Borg.

I am White of Borg ... I'm the real illegitimate offspring in case you have forgotten all colors made me.

I am Black of Borg ... Then who made me???

I am off-white of Borg...  apparently I'm the product of mixed marriage

I am Gray of Borg.... and feeling a bit off-colour today. Talk about hangovers, the heart beat on that ant over there sounds like somebody banging on a big bass drum.

I am Pink of Borg.... quick, get me off this elephant, it's embarrassing.

I am Uber-Color of Borg ...... To all you off color Borgs and Borgettes. Please be advised that the Rainbow League is holding its annual Color Me This contest on the thirtieth. All interested parties should plug in no later than the twenty ninth in order to secure proper placement as seats are going rapidly. Thank you.

I am the Lover's Lane Prowler of Borg... seems to me all those Borg and Borgettes have already 'plugged' in.   You should see it down here... cars bouncing around all over the place... without the need of that bouncy bounce suspension that was all the rave back in the 60's and 70's.

I am Sergeant of Police of Borg... I love to go up to Lovers Lane to catch those dirty perverted young schmucks up there assimilating to their hearts content in the act and then arrest them for public indecency.... trouble is, it's hard getting decent photographs for future reference with all the tinted windows around these days.

I am Special Agent Mulder of Borg... that's how Agent Scully and I conceived her baby. I mean, why do you think all FBI vehicles have tinted windows?

I am Secret Service Agent Peeper of Borg.... I discovered that's also the reason President Clinton had tinted windows in his presidential car... and also wanted them installed so no-one on the outside could see inside the Oval Office.

Didn't do Monica's dress any good though. The cleaning bill came to half the national debt. Why do you think we're all in this funk to begin with.

I am Mz Monica's Attorney of Borg ... That statement just earned you four days penance in the scrubbery.

I am Statement Maker of Borg ... bite me.

I am Ms Monica's Dry Cleaner of Borg.... and it wasn't just her dress we had to clean.  With it came a man's suit and underwear, some fancy napkins and a piece of oval carpet.

I am Ms Monica Lewinsky of Borg.... ya know, I'm still fighting with Bill about paying my doctors bills for the carpet burn to my knees.

I am Hilary Clinton of Borg... and you can keep on fighting you little gold digger, cos you're not getting a cent while I have Bill's cajones firmly in my grasp.

I am Bill Clinton's cajones ...... OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

I am Mr. Mxlplk of the 71st. Dimension ...... I demand to know why our Cajones are being held against their will by this Hillary Clinton broad. Answer immediately or our 99 velvet armored 16th. Calvalry will swoop down on your worthless selves and grind you into pixie meat. Or, barring that give you a really bad rash!

I am Federation President Rumpledforskyn of Borg... don't take it out on all our worthless selves, Mr Mxlplk of the 71st Dimension, that Clinton broad hasn't had a good rogering in eons, so I ask that you please come take her for a series of in-depth assimilations to adjust her mindset.

I am Bill Clinton, a former president of Borg... please do, please take her for a series of assimilations.  I'm not a jealous or a possessive man.

I am Mr Mxlplk of the 71st Dimension... throw in Dolly Parton and you got yourself a deal.  Oh, and I was joking about the pixie meat.  At best our ray guns can give you a really bad rash, or an exceedingly itchy rectum.

I am Hop, Skip and Jump of Borg  ... Don't antagonize Mr. Mxlplk. I got a taste of his ray gun at close range as I was running away. Why do you think they call me Hop, Skip and Jump.

I am Mr. Mxlplk of the 71st. Dimension. Pixie meat should be the least of your concerns after foisting that stark, raving, maniacal, bass-ackwards excuse of a human female upon an unsuspecting population of peaceful 71st. Dimensioners. She actually had the audacity to attempt a takeover of our illustrious Senate. Seems that she wanted to get revenge upon her ex-president of Borg by trying to assimilate our leaders. Humans and Dimensioners are not compatible. Our implants are nine of your feet long!

I am Lorena Bobbitt of Borg... come near me with that 9 foot implant, Mr Dimensioner, and I's gonna take muh razor to it, ya hear?

I am Unsuspecting Motorist of Borg.... this time I just hope that I'm not traveling behind when she decides to throw it out the car window.

Lorena Bobbitt of Borg ... Your razor cannot penetrate my superdiminium encased thrice wrapped composite triturnanious rubber implant. It would dull the edge and you'd have to settle for a velvet armored vibratory insert connected to your nether regions.

I am Sales Person of Borg ...... is Mr. Mxlplk in the house? I have the 69 dildos he ordered special delivery from Federation President Rumpledforskyn. The bill says C.O.D. He's got to pay up front or I have to take away his Dolly Parton mannequin.

I am Mr Mxlplx's Butler of Borg... please do, take that Dolly Parton Mannequin (muttering under my breath: ahem, mannequin does seem like an overly polite term given what he uses it for"), but I'd be careful how you pick it up if I were you, he does do some pretty disgusting things to it of a night-time (muttering under my breath again: I can hear the depravity in my quarters clear down in the basement).

I am Supreme Eavesdropper of Borg ...... Holy Hannawitz! Is dat what I heared all da way down to dere? Him needs put a muffla on dem thins' sos I can hear what's goin' on in da round room. I spied Ms Monica's Dry Cleaner of Borg goin' into da round room wit HillaryClinton of borg and them wuz carryin' whips and chains and all kinds of stuff. Scary.