I am Redneck of Borg, I want to assimilate my sister! 

I am RedneckDude's sister of Borg ...... you can't assimilate me Mr. Old Fart of Borg because I ain't here. I took the train out to Mr. Mxlplk's place far far away. But you can have my stand in.

I am County Sheriff of Borg... I'm going to have to arrest you, Redneck of Borg, if you assimilate your sister, but you have 171 cousins (some of 'em gals) that I'd have no objection whatsoever to.

I am Kissing Cousin of Borg...  you can assimilate with me, Redneck of Borg, but then we gotta change ends so's I get to have a turn as well.

I am Pa Redneck of Borg... now ya'll leave yer cousin ahlone on his birthday n' all, yah hear me boy... now go git him yer sister.

I an Art Linkletter of Borg ... I'm still blowin' bubbles.

I am Bubblicious of Borg ...... chew on this.

I am Jellybean of Borg ...... eat me.

I am Superfluous of Borg ...... never mind.

I am David Letterman of Borg... and I'm about as funny as an upchuck in a ski mask.

I am Conan O'Brien of Borg... Actually, I thought you were as funny as a wet fart in a wetsuit.

I am Ellen DeGeneres of Borg... and I'm funnier than a fart in church.

I am Muhammad Ali of Borg ... Uh, what wuz da question?

I am Zubaz of Borg ... I got my Speller Deluxe in hand.

I am 7of9 of Borg ... Is 2of3 in the house?

I am 1of2 of Borg ... My tutu stuck.

I am Everything Donut of Borg ... Yup. I got it all. Right down to the hole which I now sell separately.

I am Tom Cruise of Borg... and I went funny in the head after Ron L Hubbard implanted me from the rear.

I am Nicole Kidman... which is why I left you, Tom, because I didn't want to go funny in the head as well.

I am Katie Holmes of Borg... really?  I didn't know anal assimilation could do that... I'm going to take an aspirin and lie down.

I am Oprah Winfrey of Borg... well that explains the crazy dancing on my couch, Tom, you were wearing a Ron L Hubbard butt plug that day.

I am Alleve of Borg ... Ahhhhhhhh, much better. Butt plug got stuck.

I am Tom Cruise of Borg ... Alleve of Borg. Can I have my butt plug back. I got an engagement tonight and I need the practice.

I am Incontinental of Borg ... I have a really good deal on under-the-counter Depends. Just seven pounds each. Contents included.

I am Special Delivery person of Borg ...... I'll take 'em all. Halloween is right around the corner and I know this big White house over in D.C. I figure I can put the lot of them on the porch to the front door and set them on fire, then ring the bell and run away.

I am Incontinental of Borg ...... Well, in that case I'll throw in a few extra pounds of content and help. I always wanted to see politicians try to beat their brains out.

I am John Travolta of Borg... hey Tom, you stole that Ron L Hubbard butt plug from the top of my bedroom dresser, didn't you?  I wondered where that had got to.  Oh and just a little news for you on that, Tom.  It hadn't been washed.

I am the Ghost of Ron L Hubbard of Borg.... hehe, I'll tell you all a little secret.  I never washed it... not ever!

I am James Packer of Borg.... EEWWWW, Tom, and you were going to loan that to me on my wedding night for a bit of extra oomph?

Crackling and flaking and caked three inches deep said the wise man after he tasted what he thought was a lollipop.

I am Steve Jobs of Borg... ya know, I'm so smug, people tell me to go assimilate myself.

I am Struggling Software Developer of Borg.... it surprises me you didn't sue them because you took out the patent on that.

I am Bill Gates of Borg.... yeah the smug little bastard puts an i in front of everything because he's gotten so used to saying, "I invented this and I invented that" and so on.

I am Trojan Spamulator III of Borg ...... let down your firewall so I can come in and turn your software to mush ... please.

I am Resembler of Remarks of Borg ...... yeah.

I am CS5 Extended of Borg ... I'm good for 30 days then I go back to being a frog.

I am Full of Myself of Borg ... I'm so purdy. lol

I am Carlos Slim, richest man in the world of Borg... one day I am going to buy Apple from right under Steve jobs' nose, so I can put a si in front of everything.

I am Nada of borg ... Ju get zero Carlos SkinFlint, dat you real name, I know. You momma and my momma used to play hide and go fetch to-get-her. Ju am a big faker-upper.

I am Chairman Choose of Borg... you know, it really offends me that people accuse me of nepotism, just because I installed all my family and friends in all the high positions in the company.

I am NewsCaster of Borg ...... Super Typhoon Of Borg is bearing down on China of Borg. I hope her insurance is paid up.

The Astro-Nomers of Borg have found the oldest galaxy in the world. They claim ... chuckle, chuckle ... it is 13.1 billion years old. I think they need to get their glasses cleaned. All True Borgs and Borgettes know the world is only 4 years old, humph!

I am Galactic Tax Assessor of Borg ...... Where is it?? I gots to collect on it.

I am China of Borg ... squish. 

I am Astrologer of Borg... and I see that Neptune has gotten rather close to Uranus and it looks like he is trying to assimilate it.

I am Uranus of Borg ...... Damn but that trident is sharp.

I am Neptune of Borg ...... Then why did you try to eat it?

I am Jupiter of Borg ..... Because if he didn't I was going to shove a greased lightning bolt up his anus.

I am greased Lightning Bolt of Borg ...... Oh no you're not. I'm outta here.

I be Cap'n Blackbeard o' Borg.... an' I be after Kim Kardashian's Booty.... my that thar wench 'aves a luverly big arse.

I be Cap'n Purrvertte o' Borg....  I fancies that thar Beyonce's booty meself.  Talk 'bout bum cakes, that wench 'aves 'em.

I be Cap'n Choclipse o' Borg...  heave to yer heathen blaggards, when J'Lo said kiss "my arse" I wur only to glad ter oblige.

I are President A. Ssinine of Borg ... All booty calls have to go through me first. I rate.

I are BootyLicious of Borg ... Booty am good. Yum!

I are Snag A. Lot of Borg ... I gots da best booty there am. Just ask anybody.

I are Booty of Borg .... Kim and J,Lo and all them other wannabes ain't got nuthin' on me. I'm on call round the clock.

I am The Booty Meister of Borg ... Want some?