I am Chief Psychiatrist of Borg... and it seems to me there is an epidemic of insanity and silliness sweeping through the place.  Therefore, I am recommending padded cells and strait jackets for those worst affected.  The good thing about the strait jackets is that they won't be able to play with their implants and get any sillier.

I am Maxwell Smart of Borg... somebody once said to me that I'd have to have two implants... cos I couldn't be this silly pulling one.

     Is that it? The more you pull the sillier you get? I am Entertainment Tonite Co-Host Vladimir Hofstedderer. This post has been hijacked by order of the Ways and Nonsense Committee serving your local Drone region. Apologies to those drones whose cubicles have been disrupted. This is a temporary measure meant to induce a subtle amount of saneness to the local Borg Community. Admittedly it is a job of the utmost difficulty considering the number of rednecks, starker barker wannabes, and that sort of ilk. This is not to say that there are no good drones hereabouts, there may very well be but that isn't the point. The point is.....

I am Chief Broadcaster Imonair of Borg... please note that while the chief psychiatrist of Borg is trying to stamp out implant pulling by placing his victims in strait jackets, normal programs of nonsense and insanity will continue to be aired as normal.  Should you experience any interruptions, please call 555 890 890 and one of our representatives will have you reconnected ASAP.

I am Disgrunted Viewr of Borg.... 'ere, wots the game, then?  I rang 555 890 890 to complain about an interruption and I got told that all porn and XXX programs will be on hold until after the Borg 3 Dimensional Dominos Olympics are over.  I don't even like effing dominos, so get Debbie Does Lucretia Borg back on right now or else.

I am Lucretia Of Borg ... Debbie can't come to the forums right now because she bent her implant trying to help Chief Psychiatrist of Borg out of a rather tight jam. Seems he got into a little to do with the PTB's after the servers at the 555 890 890 exchange  went into melt-own. The whole system had to be scrapped. For the moment we have reverted back to the old reliable string and paper cup system. The only problem is our cube ships and spheres will have to fly very very close in order to talk back and forth.

I am Pizza Delivery Person of Borg ...... Who ordered the three x-tra large pies with anchovies?

I am Disgruntled Viewer of Borg ... I did.

Disgruntled Viewer of Borg ...... We ran out of anchovies cause the 3 Dimensional Domino Olympics committee bought them all out. Will curried cabbages do?

I am Chief Psychiatrist of Borg... if you read in the morning paper that I was caught with my implant in Debbie of Borg, don't believe a word of it.  I was merely helping her into her strait jacket and we tripped and fell, and I accidentally landed on top of her.  Just because she was otherwise naked, and I was naked, it doesn't mean a thing.

I am Head of Papparazzi of Borg.... don't try to deny it doc, I've got the photos and it looks to me like you were giving poor lil Debbie a right royal rogering.

I am Disgruntled Viewer of Borg.... bugger the curried cabbage, just get the porn back on.

I am Special Delivery Person of Borg ... Is Disgruntled Viewer of Borg in the house? I have the six blow up Debbie dolls he ordered and the nine Marigold dolls, eleven Psychiatrist dolls, thirteen Dolley Parton dolls with the extra air generators, three pack mules, two sheep. one cat, neutered, a dog, three blind mice, a pig, two bulls with extra large horns, a parakeet and an assortment of Ron Jeremy poser dolls. Where does he want them?

I am Disgruntled Viewer of Borg.... I did not order all those sex dolls, believe me.  No, it was my depraved room-mate whose afraid to assimilate with real women because he's embarrassed about the size of his implant.

I am Marigold of Borg.... I dunno why he's embarrassed about the size of his implant. I accidentally walked in on him in the shower.... and, and, and at first I thought he was practicing the three-legged raced in there.

I am Dr Kinsey of Borg.... seeing as you people seem so preoccupied with implants and assimilation, I was wondering if you'd like to volunteer for a study I'm conducting into Borg sexual habits.

We are Masters and Johnson of Borg... we have covered all of that already.  Dr Kinsey you only want to do this to satisfy your perversions as you watch them through one way glass with implant in hand.

So there you are Masters and Johnson of Borg ...The Infernal Affairs division would like to have a word with you concerning the illegal import of pseudo implants. do you realize the damage you have caused? Those poor Borgettes Marigold and Debbie have been leaking all over the place trying to assimilate and all they've manged to do was a couple of old rusty hunks not worth their weight in latinum. You are hereby ordered to cease and desist or we'll have to call in the Clomper Stompers to squish you.

Dr. Kinsey of Borg ...Your complicity in helping nail Masters and Johnson is duly noted. You may pick up your usual supply of super stym at the agreed upon place under the front porch next to the cabbage patch. Oh, and a word of caution. The super stym is highly concentrated. Do not apply it as liberally as you do with the regular stuff or your implant will stand up and assimilate without you.

I am Poindexter of Borg ...I want some of that!

I am Houdini of Borg... who needs super stym.... my implant still assimilates from the beyond.

I am Paul McKenna of Borg.... that's nothing, I hypnotised my implant to assimilate while I'm asleep.

I am David Copperfied of Borg.... that's nothing also, my implant can assimilate while I am in another room.

I am Inspector Clouseau of Borg... so Monsieur Copperfield, you admeet eet could very well 'ave been your implant who assimilated Mademoiselle Fifi in 'er dressing room while you were steel on stage.

I am UPS person of Borg...... is Disgruntled Viewer of Borg in the house? I have the sixteen de-fibrillated dildo vibratory filters he ordered plus the nine new service packs for the blow-up dolls he received yesterday. Does he still want the seven ultra soft tushie pillows. We have a special on them this week. Two for a buck.

I am David Blaine of Borg...... you guys are so yesterday. I can do it while floating off the ground with a bent nickel in my mouth.

I am IRS Man of Borg... UPS Person of Borg, I hope you are charging Disgruntled Viewer of Borg tax on all there items.  People might have the opinion that assimilation is free, but that is not so when the assimilation occurs with devices made by corporate taxpayers for to sell to sales tax payers who sell them to other tax payers.  We WANT our cut.

I am Casanova of Borg... David Blaine of Borg... you are so far up yourself you're pink on the outside. That's nothing!!!  My 97 year old great grandfather can assimilate with his implant in a glass on the night-stand beside his false teeth.

I am Italian Stallion of Borg.... so what, my 110 year old great, great grandfather can assimilate 2 women in at the same time while in a hammock and the light on.

I an Xaviera Hollander of Borg... you guys are all tame compared to the circus act I dated once.  He liked to assimilate on the high trapeze doing mid-air somersaults and triple spirals while he serenaded me on the violin.

I am Poindexter of Borg ...... Yeah well... I can do it lying down. So there. Nyah!

I am ...  LINE PLEASE!!

Here's one.

I am New Comer of Borg ... (New Comer = your name or whomever you wish to be at any given moment) For example.

I am Master Mind of Borg ... I can master any mind. Now all I have to do is find one. See .. very simple. Now you try.

And Didgruntled of Borg ... put your toys away before the Infernal Affairs people come and steal them ... again. 

I am Mastermind of Borg.... I can master any mind except my own.  It wants to keep playing silly buggers while I'm trying to concentrate.

I am Agent Smith of Infernal Affairs of Borg.... are those sex toys I see you with Disgruntled of Borg?  If so, please place them in the evidence bag and proceed to the assimilation chamber for further interrogation

I am Casanova's Butler of Borg... I am sorry, MariennaSkye of Borg, there are no longer any links available.  Mr Casanova tore up all the invitations and has turned it into a private orgy.

I am Casanova's Stand-in of Borg ... he's gone and now I get to play with all the fillies. Prepare to be assimilated. Haaa ha ha ha ha ha.

I am Head of Preventative Medicine of Borg... please be aware, Casanova's Stand-in of Borg, most of those fillies have not been innoculated for the dreaded lurgy Commander Worf accidentally brought back from the Cardassian Wars.  Assimilating with these fillies could result in a dry throat and huge welts on your implant.

I am Head Chemist of Borg.... Ahem, Head of Preventative Medicine of Borg, it will be okay for Casanova's stand in of Borg to play with those fillies. I have developed a vaccine for the dreaded lurgy Commander Worf accidentally brought back from the Cardassian Wars, but it has side effects..... an allergy to women and impotence.

I am Sleazy Internet Pharmacist of Borg..... I have these nice little blue pills that cure limp implant going cheap.... very cheeeeeap.  Give me your email address, Casanova's Stand-in of Borg, and I will send you endless amounts of spam for Viagra of Borg and/or Cialis of Borg.... starch of Borg if you need that extra little bit of help.

To Sleazy Internet Pharmacist of Borg ... Casanova's Stand-in of Borg is really a secret identity ... one of many I must assume in my line of work. I am really Super Wizop Inkerbiggle Humpherdingy and you are going to be assimilated ... right now ... bend over.

To Super Wizop whateveryournameis ... go suck a duck.

To Head Chemist of Borg ... I am Super Wizop Inkerbiggle Humpherdingy ... you are listed as an emeny of the state. Prepare to be assimilated. Go get 'em Sleazy Internet Pharmacist of Borg.

Okay.

I am Grand Poobah Splitzledick of Borg.... I have decreed all assimilation to be outlawed unless I am the one doing the assimilation.  Exception to this decree is when wrinkly old sow of a wife of mine wants a bit... then she can go to Super Wizop Inkerbiggle Humpherdingy, whose implant is more suited to that terrain.

I am Barredup Dingledangle of Borg.... Hey, that decree just isn't fair.  I just signed up for assimilation lessons with 7of9 of Borg and she gave me a 10% discount for an unused implant.

I am Peeping Tomasina of Borg.... how can you say your implant is unused Barredup Dingledangle of Borg??  I saw you through a gap in your bedroom curtains, giving it a right old tug with that smelly boxing glove on your hand.

I am The Great Assimilator of Borg ... Grand Poobah of Borg? Who elevated you to the most exalted position of Grand Poobah?

I am Queen Ixtapickle of Borg ... I did you dork!

I am The Ex-Great Assimilator of Borg ... Yes mother thank you for the demotion. No mother, I'll leave Barredup Dingledangle alone.

I am Dingledangle of Borg ...... Hardy har har ..... OWWWWWWW!

I am Queen Ixtapickle of Borg ... and don't you forget it!