I am Celebrity Watcher of Borg...Jane Fonda of Borg...you nitwit...how can Dolly Parton of Borg, top heavy as she is, get black eyes from falling down backwards? You should return to your cubicle and plug in for a quickie......diagnostic I mean.

I am Nosferatu of Borg......I come to suck your nanos. Resistance is stupid. All of you bare your frontal orbs. Dolly Parton of Borg...he he, you first.

I am Dolly Parton of Borg.... believe me, Celebrity Watcher of Borg, with HHH's I can give myself black eyes just sneezing.

I am Liberace of Borg.... with my 'jovial' lifestyle that's one thing I missed out on, frontal orbs, though Rock Hudson started to get a nice set of moobs in his latter years.

I am Maxwell Sheffield of Borg.... I'm glad you didn't say you were coming to suck my nanny, Nosferatu of Borg, with a voice like that she's likely to leave a peculiar taste in your mouth.

I am Nosferatu of Borg.............you're right. Last evening I chanced upon your nanny while she was dressing down a rather large fowl. I wanted to bite her orb but the fowl fouled it up.

I am Katy Price of Borg......my frontal orbs are lonely. Care to come play.

Nosfweratu of Borg says......EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

I am Peter Andre of Borg... let me assure you, Katie Price's frontal orbs are more implant than orb.

I am Samantha Fox of Borg... yeah, and she's so far into herself she's pink on the outside.

I am Katy Perry of Borg.... bah, my orbs got kicked off of Sesame Street because I wouldn't let the producer cop a feel.

I am Sesame Street Producer of Borg......Not true......it wasn't because you couldn't cop a feel. Oh no......it was because you couldn't feel a cop.

I am Copafeel of Borg...I protest vehemently. I came all the way from Collective Central for this??? Fashizzleitupyourbutt

I am Police Chief O'Malley of Borg... there 'll be no feeling a cop on my watch  (psst, pssst, wait 'til I'm off duty and I'll meet yer in the car park)

I am Police Commissioner of Borg.... Chief O'Malley, you'll not be getting any more of those sly perks unless you want to face a probe from Internal Affairs.

I am Captain Lancelot of the Police Department of Borg... no, no, Commissioner, please don't threaten the Chief with a probe. He'll break out the Vaseline and go completely anal just to get one.

I am Infernal Affairs Chief Wackadoodle Mxlplyk of Borg......who put the sand in my vaseline jar?????

I am Spock of Borg......I will now attempt to mind meld with the collective.

I am 7of9 of Borg... that's not sand in your Vaseline, Chief Wackadoodle, that's ground up Viagra to give your implant that extra boost.

I am  11of 12 of Borg... if you mind meld with the Collective, Spock of Borg, you're going to pick up some pretty filthy thoughts about implants and assimilation... do so at your ow risk, or pleasure, whatever the case may be.

I am Lt Uhura of Borg... I'll take some of those pretty filthy thoughts if you don't mind, Spock, it has been a while since Captain Kirk and I assimilated.

I am Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott of Borg...... I just came back from Rastafaria and boy let me tell you...them guys sure know how to paaaartyyy. Got my winkle up and runnin' in two shakes of a redneck's tassle. (sorry ... couldn't resist lol)

This is Captain Kirk of Borg... Scotty, beam me up a female Borg with ginormous implants immediately... like I want them... her here in one shake of a redneck's tassle.

This is Chief Engineer Scott of Borg... I'm giving her all I've got, Captain, but it seems she's stuck on my implant and cannot make it to the transporter pad.

This is Lt Sulu of Borg.... Mr Scott, you're on the holodeck again, aren't you?

This is Un-Impaler of Borg. Mr. Scott of Borg has sealed the holodeck doors again. I'm afraid I'll have to charge you double overtime again. I'll leave you with this jar of de-sanded vaseline. When you get inside just apply it liberally to the affected region and stand back. The slurpies are rather loud.

I am Holodeck Programmer of Borg... it seems Mr Scott has a touch of implant envy, which is probably why he asked me to set him up with something more impressive for his date with 7of9.

I am Photographer of Borg... yeah, I got photos of that.

I am Larry Flynt of Borg.... I will buy those off you... and any of Lt Uhura if you have any.

I am Inspector Cluso of the F. B. of T. T. O. of Borg .... any pics you have of Lt. Uhura must be forwarded to the Admins of Borg for moderation. This may take up to two years depending on the availability of sufficiently inebriated ogglers and the transparency values of the Lieutenant's uniform. Please be patient and we'll get right back to you.

I am Rear-end Admiral Notfernuthin of Borg ... any pics of any members of the female persuasion in and throughout Borg space are the sole copyright of the .......... me!

I be cap'n starkers o' Borg.... Admiral Notfernuthin of Borg, prepare ye self fer a mutiny if'n ye thinks ye can keep all the nuddie pics t' yerself.... AARRGGHH!!!

I am Britney Spears of Borg... look boys there's no need to fight.  If there's not enough pics of me knickerless, I'd be only too happy to pose for more.

I am Lindsay Lohan... if you gimme alcohol and/or something to get high on, I'll pose nude for pic, videos... anything you want.

I am Hugh Hefner of Borg... sorry Lindsay, but most of my readers wrote in to say that you give their implants a soft-on

Cap'n starkers of Borg ... why ye ole scalliwagger! I've a mind to shorten yer rations of curried cabbage but what wit the comin' of them blokes from across the puddle we be needin' every fart worthy scurvy lot a'ya Now git up there in them thar midden thingies an' git yer rear in position cause there be's a lot of 'em.

I am innocent bystander of Borg. If you lolligaggers keep this up I'm gonna have to report you to the F. B. of T. T. O. and you know what them guys at the Funky Bureau of Toxic Take Out are like. PHEW!!!

I am Head Lolligagger of Borg... and I'll only say this once, Innocent Bystander of Borg, we will lolligag to our hearts content, and if you don't like it go ahead and make your complaint... but pheeew, just don't stand too close to the counter in there, tho, otherwise they think you're tarred with the same brush and chuck yer sorry arse in the cells.

Head Lolligagger of Borg ...... I resemble your remark and therefore say this ... NYAH! You can't catch me, ha ha. I'm faster than a speeding turtle, more powerful than an ant, able to leap three matchbook covers in nine bounds ... I am ...... um ... I forget.

I am LegUp SonoBoni of Borg ...... who ordered the lemon cabbage? I got a bill here for a Mr. Head Lolligagger. Is he about? I sure hope he don't stick me with it agsin. Last time he did I had to fork over two months inflation on my implant. That hurt cause I have a date with Missy Flotsam of Borg and I'm gonna need all the inflammatory I can get.

I am Missy Flotsam of Borg.... don't worry about your implant, LegUp SonoBoni of Borg, if your implant don't get all inflammatory like, and the little blue pills don't work, either, we could always sit and talk about the weather.

I am 1of44DD of Borg.... why just talk about the weather, Missy Flotsam of Borg, why not do as I do and go sit on Spock's lap and talk about the first thing that pops up

I am Mr Sulu of Borg... I've tried sitting on Spock's lap to talk about the first thing that pops up, but usually it's his phazer and an invitation to get the f**k off.

Mr Sulu of Borg...... you should be ashamed of yourself. You tried that with the Captain and he cried all over the bridge because Mr Spock of Borg wouldn't let him play with his implant.

I am Osama Bin Skinny-Dipshit of Borg ...... Allow me to introduce you to my one of a kind, guaranteed to annoy, exo-plasmic nut extractor. All you gotta do is sit in front of it with your zipper down and the machine will do the test. I should know...I sing saprano real good.