I am Chelsea Charms of Borg... during the Boobs on Bikes Rally in Auckland the other day, I had to ride on a tank because my implants are way tooooo big for a bike.

I am Tank Commander of Borg... yeah, with her implants and mine, there was no room in the turret for anyone else.

I am Boobs on Bikes Spectator of Borg... when the tank's turret was swung around I got my ears boxed and I suffered two black eyes... but it was worth it.

I am Procession Leader of Borg... I'm sure glad she wasn't on the back of my bike and resting those things on my shoulders.

I am Gawking Oggler of Borg...Those things can't be real. I mean come on. Talk about top heavy.

I am Buxom Buddy of Borg...That one needs to register with Home Land Security. One wrong move and she'll sink half of the Navy with one and give those poor Gyrenes hernias with the other.

I am Plastic Surgeon of Borg... yeah, I had to send away for 2 extra large hot air balloons for those... and let me tell you, I thought pumping the silicon into them would never end.

I am Stretch Limo Driver of Borg.... and I am going for workers comp, Even though I had Chelsea Charms sit way back in the in the back seat her implants still put my back out.

I am Swimming Coach of Borg.... I had to cut Chelsea Charms from the team because she kept coming dead last.... cos her implants were dragging on the bottom of the pool.

I am Athletics Coach of Borg... well I'm quite happy to have her on my track team.  She mightn't run so fast, but she still crosses the finishing line ahead of everyone else.

  I am Chelseas sis of Borg.....Hi           My implants are full of helium. They never let me down.

 Don't know if pic can be seen. 1rst time. Hope so....

I am Katie Price of Borg... despite being a brainless twat I have assimilated the entire British media with my dull existence...

I googled Katie Price of Borg.... but didn't assimilate. Glad there's no to many K.P. Borgs out there

I am Peter Andre of Borg.... being married to Katie Price isn't all it's cracked up to be.  I pretty near gotta bend over backwards to plant a kiss on her lips.... and with her implants resembling the hills of Jerusalem, I suffer with chronic shaggers back.

I am Samantha Fox of Borg... famous page 3 girl and wannabe singer, but at least my jubbly bits are real.

I am Calista Flockhart of Borg... I went to see my plastic surgeon about getting breast implants, but he said that I had no chance because he needed something to work with first.

I am Kim Kardashian of Borg.... I've heard it said that more than a mouthful is a waste, but I didn't get the fur coats, jewlery and BMW's by offering men mere morsels,

I am Silicon Supplier of Borg...We have a special today on type three implants.

I am Warehouse Manager of Borg...Warehouse number four has been assimilated. Silicon deposits have been rerouted to K. P.'s closet.

I am Dolly Parton of Borg...I am soooooo jealous! 

I am Calista Flockhart of Borg.... you're jealous?  My implants are like fried eggs compared to yours, and one day I hope to get out of my training bra and into a triple minus A-cup.

I am Country Music Fan of Borg... I've heard that Dolly Parton's jubbly bits are 100% real, though I'd give my last cent and have myself declared bankrupt to find out for myself.

I am James Woods of Borg... well I got up pretty close and personal to Dolly in the movie "Straight Talk' and those puppies looked, felt and um... tasted pretty real to me.

I are Redneck of Borg.... well I lawst mah virginity while luking at Dolly Parton's Cleevage... pity it wus in a magazine and I wus bah mahself.

I am Sympathizer of Borg...You poor guy. Bet that'll learn ya.

I am Proctor Silex of Borg...We've just announced our latest product...The Boob-a-fill.

I am Patent Pending of Borg...your request has been duly noted. Patent # 2,345,678,910,973,567 has been issued for your Boob-a-fill. Good luck.

I am CEO of Proctor Silex of Borg...I'm gonna get soooooooo rich...ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I am Filthy Old Lecher of Borg.... I am more interested in Feel-a- boob than Boob-a-fill.

I am CEO of Proctor Silex of Borg... I may be getting rich but I'd like more of a hands-on approach when it comes to the measuring up, implanting and the post-implant assessment part.

I am Goldigger of Borg... well, Mr CEO, if you spend all your bonuses and 95% of you salary on me, you can have the hands-on approach with my implants on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 3.00 am and 3.05am, if you're awake.

I am Pre-Nup Lawyer of Borg... if you do not satisfy all aspects of the union, Miss Goldigger, Mr Proctor Silex can dissolve it without further ado... and remove your (free) implants via your armpits.

I am Doc of Borg... and I'll gladly take time out from my WC duties to handle Miss Goldigger's implants... and while I'm there, I'll check to see if Mr Proctor Silex has a heart and soul.

I am Nihilist of Borg...it's my name but I don't know what it means.

I am Pre-Nup's Lawyer's Lawyer of Borg...Miss Goldigger and Mr. Proctor Silex have eloped. Now...I know this seems rather irregular but...rumor has it that Miss Goldigger has promised Mr. Proctor Silex an exclusive hands on her south-of-the-navel implant so that he can more accurately judge the silicon content.

I am Proctolologist of Borg...Don't ask.

I am Not Asking of Borg...OK.

I am Lady Chatterley's Lover... I have had an experience with Miss Goldigger's below-the-navel implant (one that I'd rather forget) and my advice to Mr Proctor Silex is not to get too close when inspecting the silicon content... she's liable to peel one off just for the hell of it while he's down there.

I am Gardener of Borg... yeah, it can get a bit damp and musty down there.  Talk about trimming bikini lines. Once she came to me to borrow my hedge clippers and pruning shears to cut back the undergrowth... and I still had to finish it off with my trusty old push mower.

I am Lawn Repairer of Borg...I just got the wierdest call. Gardener of Borg wants to know where he might find a blade sharpener. When asked all he said was the last hedge he trimmed was so coarse the blades dulled within seconds.

I am Explosives Expert of Borg. I just the strangest call. Lawn Repairer of Borg asked me to furnish him with six tons of gluteous nitrate to clear, and get this, a forest of coarse overgrowth in the shape of a triangle (upside down) about three inches wide tapering down to a wide channel with a big rock stuck in it. Six tons??

I am Goldigger of Borg...OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That smarts.

I am Goldigger of Borg... I resent the insinuation that I'm overly hirsute down there and I vehemently deny it is true the brush cutter found some wild animals hoiding in the undergrowth.

I am Brush Cutter of Borg... oh there's wild animals down there alright.  One was frightened by my power clippers and it bit me on the implant.

I am Doc of Borg... hmmm, a very peculiar case indeed.  The bite marks looked human... could be somebody lost their dentures down there.

I am Dentist of Borg... funny you should say that.  I had Bill Clinton in here the other day saying that he'd lost his.

I am William Shatner of Borg... JJ Abrams just offered me a role in his next Star trek movie, but at my age I'm gonna need some Viagra of Borg just to make it on set.

I am Leonard Nimoy of Borg... funny you should say that.  I needed Viagra of Borg to get me through his first remake... my ears were constantly flaccid and kept drooping on set.

I am Lieutenant Uhura of Borg... sure hope I get a call up. My magnificent implants would fill out a Star Fleet uniform better than those silicon bimbos frequenting sets these days.

I am Psychic of Borg... I knew this thread would be getting ressurected with all the as-sam-ulating going on in Pos thread

I am Pre-meditated of Borg..... same here, Psychic of Borg, I had a feeling it would be, too. 

I am Ghost Whisperer of Borg... me too, the Ghost of Implants Past told me there'd be some as-sam-ulation taking place.

I am Medium of Borg... I had a dream about some 'implant' ressurecting this thread.

I am John Edward.... and while we're at it I'll bring back the implants who have passed over.

I am Nokia of Borg.... gonna suck the core right out of Apple with a law suit and show Steve *Smug* Jobs that he cannot assimilate our ideas and get away with it.

I am Sony Ericsson of Borg.... I always knew that Apple was rotten to the core.

I am Virgin Mobile of Borg... aw, let's forget about all that and get back to 'assimilating'

I am Metrosexual of Borg... guess I really must be a city boy. Went for a drive in the country, and when the missus wanted a 'roll in the hay' my implant wouldn't work.

I am Rurasexual... 'ere, you shoulda brought 'er over to my stud farm!  I'm sure I've got a working implant here.

I am Urbansexual... things are better here in the suburbs.  We have lots of 'swingers' parties so nobody misses out.

I am Bill Clinton of Borg.... and which suburbs are these?