Why Flame Wars Get Started
Because we understand less than we think we do
Monday, February 13, 2006 by ZubaZ | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Wired has an article (referencing a study I can't justify paying for) that indicates that one only has a 50/50 chance of getting the tone of a messsage but most folks think they get it 90% of the time.
It's not a surprise that textual communication doesn't convey the feelings we think it would . .. but I am surprised at how high the percentage of error is.
For the record, read my posts with sarcasm.
It's not a surprise that textual communication doesn't convey the feelings we think it would . .. but I am surprised at how high the percentage of error is.
For the record, read my posts with sarcasm.
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starkers
Reply #25 Monday, February 13, 2006 10:30 PM
Nailed it there in one, Jafo! Quite often a viscious minded person will lash out at another purely for the sport of it. However, poor communication skills frequently play a part in the whole shamozzle.....and not necessarily from the viewpoint of the author. We can all read the same book and see different twists and turns to draw individual/varying conclusions.....and the same applies to forum threads, emails and the like.
It's like some people read into things what they want to see, despite the use of emoticons to indicate humour, peace, friendship and etc, so if they happen to be in a shitty frame of mind, they're going to respond negatively, regardless of the authors' intent...be it harmless, positive, constructive or otherwise.
Sadly, there are those who lack the ability to engage in useful, positive debate: sometimes it may be due to a huge chip on their shoulder; in other cases it may be a huge inferiority complex that causes them to retaliate when unnecessary, and thus a flame war erupts due to their inability to communicate on the same level.
However, this is a personality disorder rather than an evil character flaw, and in such instances, we need to know/understand the difference.
In the absence of emotion/body language, the written and spoken word (ie, over the phone) can so easily be misunderstood/misinterpreted, so yeah, it pays to be as clear and as honest as possible when conveying ones thoughts/ideas in text, over the internet, phone, etc.
I've often been called 'long winded' when I write, but then, I'd rather use the written word to its fullest to elaborate upon my thoughts and feelings than to appear to be impatient, abrupt or rude through minimalising and condensing it down to include nothing of who I really am.
Okay, so that may attract flamers and derogatory criticism, but I've grown a pretty tough hide over my years of writings and I'm not ashamed of who or what I am.
Hi, my name is starkers and I'm a writeaholic......
Reply #25 Monday, February 13, 2006 10:30 PM
| Not all flamewars are started through poor communication. A significant proportion are the malicious intent of one person to score points at another's expense....through snide or derisive put-down/criticism. |
Nailed it there in one, Jafo! Quite often a viscious minded person will lash out at another purely for the sport of it. However, poor communication skills frequently play a part in the whole shamozzle.....and not necessarily from the viewpoint of the author. We can all read the same book and see different twists and turns to draw individual/varying conclusions.....and the same applies to forum threads, emails and the like.
It's like some people read into things what they want to see, despite the use of emoticons to indicate humour, peace, friendship and etc, so if they happen to be in a shitty frame of mind, they're going to respond negatively, regardless of the authors' intent...be it harmless, positive, constructive or otherwise.
Sadly, there are those who lack the ability to engage in useful, positive debate: sometimes it may be due to a huge chip on their shoulder; in other cases it may be a huge inferiority complex that causes them to retaliate when unnecessary, and thus a flame war erupts due to their inability to communicate on the same level.
However, this is a personality disorder rather than an evil character flaw, and in such instances, we need to know/understand the difference.
In the absence of emotion/body language, the written and spoken word (ie, over the phone) can so easily be misunderstood/misinterpreted, so yeah, it pays to be as clear and as honest as possible when conveying ones thoughts/ideas in text, over the internet, phone, etc.
I've often been called 'long winded' when I write, but then, I'd rather use the written word to its fullest to elaborate upon my thoughts and feelings than to appear to be impatient, abrupt or rude through minimalising and condensing it down to include nothing of who I really am.
Okay, so that may attract flamers and derogatory criticism, but I've grown a pretty tough hide over my years of writings and I'm not ashamed of who or what I am.
Hi, my name is starkers and I'm a writeaholic......
Bichur
Reply #26 Monday, February 13, 2006 11:11 PM
Reply #26 Monday, February 13, 2006 11:11 PM
Some get started because you can't help but flame somebody with a name like:
Sir Zubzaz.
I think Starkers is right on a lot of them...overcompensation for an inferiority complex. Or he could be wrong...I don't know...I've been told I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Sir Zubzaz.
I think Starkers is right on a lot of them...overcompensation for an inferiority complex. Or he could be wrong...I don't know...I've been told I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Iben
Reply #27 Tuesday, February 14, 2006 12:37 AM
Reply #27 Tuesday, February 14, 2006 12:37 AM
~
Why Flame Wars Get Started?
It is the work of the alien.
~
Why Flame Wars Get Started?
It is the work of the alien.
~
starkers
Reply #29 Tuesday, February 14, 2006 1:54 AM
You're spot on with your opening remark! Im always right....except when my wife says I'm wrong, which is 99.9% of the time.
As for not being the sharpest tool in the shed....well that became obvious when you said: "Or he could be wrong" My wife would soon chastise thee for that, having claimed sole propriety to that particular comment/observation/flame, and banish thee to the shed to hone thyself
As for my inferiority complex....well I probably wouldn't suffer it if my wife didn't continually introduce herself to new people we meet as my BETTER half.
Reply #29 Tuesday, February 14, 2006 1:54 AM
| I think Starkers is right on a lot of them...overcompensation for an inferiority complex. Or he could be wrong...I don't know...I've been told I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed |
You're spot on with your opening remark! Im always right....except when my wife says I'm wrong, which is 99.9% of the time.
As for not being the sharpest tool in the shed....well that became obvious when you said: "Or he could be wrong" My wife would soon chastise thee for that, having claimed sole propriety to that particular comment/observation/flame, and banish thee to the shed to hone thyself
As for my inferiority complex....well I probably wouldn't suffer it if my wife didn't continually introduce herself to new people we meet as my BETTER half.
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Reply #21 Monday, February 13, 2006 9:08 PM