You know it's summer in Australia when...
Sunday, January 11, 2004 by Chris TH | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps (faucet).
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
You drop the eggs on the way home from the shop and they cook on the
ground.
The temperature drops below 30 (Celcius!) and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You can boil eggs in your swimming pool.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You turn on the hose to water your garden and only get steam.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end
up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You can make tea or coffee with water from the tap without boiling.
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
hard boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
The afternoon breeze feels like it comes straight from a hair dryer.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
Hot water now comes out of both taps (faucet).
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
You drop the eggs on the way home from the shop and they cook on the
ground.
The temperature drops below 30 (Celcius!) and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You can boil eggs in your swimming pool.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You turn on the hose to water your garden and only get steam.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end
up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You can make tea or coffee with water from the tap without boiling.
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
hard boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
The afternoon breeze feels like it comes straight from a hair dryer.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
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wombat_1
Reply #3 Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:38 PM
Yes indeed .... desperation triumphs over sloth!
Here's a couple more.
The AirCon in your car dies on the first day of a string of 35C+ weeks .... and all the service people are on holiday.
All the 100 octane in the fuel tank of your bike turns to vapour and the tank looks like the Goodyear Blimp!
You decide to hoon it up in front of several nubile wenches and kickstart the thing ..... the fuel vapour ignites first time round,
1100CC of Aprilia V-twin backfires and spits you over the bars .... you resolve to act your age! (for a week at least!)
All the birds cease to fly and become waterfowl .... usually in the shallow end of your pool.
The ones that venture to the deep end discover they are not and promptly drown .... their remains clog up the pool filter!
"Dried Fruit" comes straight off the tree.
The arsonists come out of hibernation .... cue "Twilight Zone" theme.
Four weeks on from the day your car's AC died you get it fixed at an outragous price ..... it rains and thunders for a week.
"United Energy" aka "Those Useless Bastards"
have three power spikes every 24 hours and you lose weeks of work on your PC. >
The week before the Grand Prix it becomes impossible to purchase a decent Sunblock .... Jafo has cornered it all in anticpation of the usual Albert Park 'ritual charred spectator fest'.
The Possum that died in your roof falls into the wall cavity ...the North wall (naturally!) of your home .... luckily it disintegrates rapidly and you can move back after a week.
You return from a few weeks in Europe and arrive at 4.30AM wearing winter clothes .... it's 25C outside and the AC is not working in the International Terminal at Tulla .... >
Another bloody Possum expires in the same wall cavity!
The "Summer Nats" (run in Canberra??!!!) receive more TV coverage than any Grand Prix!
The one day that is not a 'Fire Ban' day, and the "Forecast" temperature is a comfy 25C, the one day you and some friends are burning some steaks, is the day your area is hit by one of those "Once in 100 Years" freak storms ..... even the tinnies get a wrinkle finish from the hailstones .... bugger!
And it's only the second week in January!
[Message Edited]
[Message Edited]
Reply #3 Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:38 PM
| The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. |
Yes indeed .... desperation triumphs over sloth!
Here's a couple more.
The AirCon in your car dies on the first day of a string of 35C+ weeks .... and all the service people are on holiday.
All the 100 octane in the fuel tank of your bike turns to vapour and the tank looks like the Goodyear Blimp!
You decide to hoon it up in front of several nubile wenches and kickstart the thing ..... the fuel vapour ignites first time round,
1100CC of Aprilia V-twin backfires and spits you over the bars .... you resolve to act your age! (for a week at least!)
All the birds cease to fly and become waterfowl .... usually in the shallow end of your pool.
The ones that venture to the deep end discover they are not and promptly drown .... their remains clog up the pool filter!
"Dried Fruit" comes straight off the tree.
The arsonists come out of hibernation .... cue "Twilight Zone" theme.
Four weeks on from the day your car's AC died you get it fixed at an outragous price ..... it rains and thunders for a week.
"United Energy" aka "Those Useless Bastards"
have three power spikes every 24 hours and you lose weeks of work on your PC. >
The week before the Grand Prix it becomes impossible to purchase a decent Sunblock .... Jafo has cornered it all in anticpation of the usual Albert Park 'ritual charred spectator fest'.
The Possum that died in your roof falls into the wall cavity ...the North wall (naturally!) of your home .... luckily it disintegrates rapidly and you can move back after a week.
You return from a few weeks in Europe and arrive at 4.30AM wearing winter clothes .... it's 25C outside and the AC is not working in the International Terminal at Tulla .... >
Another bloody Possum expires in the same wall cavity!
The "Summer Nats" (run in Canberra??!!!) receive more TV coverage than any Grand Prix!
The one day that is not a 'Fire Ban' day, and the "Forecast" temperature is a comfy 25C, the one day you and some friends are burning some steaks, is the day your area is hit by one of those "Once in 100 Years" freak storms ..... even the tinnies get a wrinkle finish from the hailstones .... bugger!
And it's only the second week in January!
[Message Edited]
[Message Edited]
Erk.
Reply #4 Monday, January 12, 2004 4:54 AM
Reply #4 Monday, January 12, 2004 4:54 AM
There's still a couple more....
> The tide *refuses* to come in at the beach, coz the sand is too hot....
> No need to cook the fish you catch, they become broiled in the top six feet of water as you reel them in..
> Palm trees in the north uproot themselves, and move south for the summer...
> Hot dog vendors at the beach don't use the electric outlets to heat the water...
> You go to dive into your backyard pool... and belly flop onto hot concrete, as the water's gone...
> You find it's actually better to close the bedroom window at night, opening it makes the heat inside worse.
> The wheels on your skateboard melt, and you start a fire with ball-bearing sparks...
> The re-treaded tyres on your car become four, six foot strips on the driveway- then spontaneously combust!
> People you haven't heard from in ages, suddenly want to come over... (you have air conditioning)
.... and finally..
> Those sunglasses you left on the dashboard of the car... become a permanent fixture on your face!
> The tide *refuses* to come in at the beach, coz the sand is too hot....
> No need to cook the fish you catch, they become broiled in the top six feet of water as you reel them in..
> Palm trees in the north uproot themselves, and move south for the summer...
> Hot dog vendors at the beach don't use the electric outlets to heat the water...
> You go to dive into your backyard pool... and belly flop onto hot concrete, as the water's gone...
> You find it's actually better to close the bedroom window at night, opening it makes the heat inside worse.
> The wheels on your skateboard melt, and you start a fire with ball-bearing sparks...
> The re-treaded tyres on your car become four, six foot strips on the driveway- then spontaneously combust!
> People you haven't heard from in ages, suddenly want to come over... (you have air conditioning)
.... and finally..
> Those sunglasses you left on the dashboard of the car... become a permanent fixture on your face!
Bangkokboy
Reply #5 Monday, January 12, 2004 7:50 PM
@ all.
does it at least cool off there in the ...err.. your winter? i'm working in an office building in texas with the air conditioning going full blast, and i can't imagine what august is going to feel like. thanks for cheering me up, guys!
Reply #5 Monday, January 12, 2004 7:50 PM
@ all.does it at least cool off there in the ...err.. your winter? i'm working in an office building in texas with the air conditioning going full blast, and i can't imagine what august is going to feel like. thanks for cheering me up, guys!
Matchbook
Reply #7 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:16 PM
Reply #7 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:16 PM
Coming from a chef, I have to say that to "broil" means "to cook with radiant heat from above" and has nothing to do with water or other cooking substances. 
yea yea, I know, I'm being picky
[Message Edited]
yea yea, I know, I'm being picky
[Message Edited]
Jafo
Reply #8 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:29 PM
Reply #8 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:29 PM
'Broil' has tended to be used in Aussie slang to abbreviate 'boil in oil'....and since this is all about Aussies...it's fair-dinkum legit...
Jafo
Reply #9 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:37 PM
Reply #9 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:37 PM
To be even more in the pedant mode....'broiling' was the great Aussie suntan of 40+C at the beach wearing nothing much more than a liberal coating of baby oil....
Matchbook
Reply #10 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:42 PM So we were both right - from the Aussie perspective; you're right, from cooking school and proper cooking procedures and terminology; I'm right 
[Message Edited]
Reply #10 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:42 PM
So we were both right - from the Aussie perspective; you're right, from cooking school and proper cooking procedures and terminology; I'm right 
[Message Edited]
Matchbook
Reply #11 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:46 PM
Reply #11 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:46 PM
Besides... The intended context of the post wasn't pertaining to "oil" of any sort - it was an ocean/water reference
Jafo
Reply #12 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:53 PM
Reply #12 Monday, January 12, 2004 9:53 PM
Aussies know exactly what it is to be 'broiled'.....nothing to do with food at all, really...
Erk.
Reply #13 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 6:09 AM boiled. broiled.
...care factor??
I'd say about nil
Reply #13 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 6:09 AM
boiled. broiled....care factor??
I'd say about nil
aufisch
Reply #14 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 10:23 PM
Reply #14 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 10:23 PM
I have some points to add here:
You know it is summer in Australia when...
: the only time you can turn on your computer is between 3am and 9am, the only time it is cool enough inside your house, everything else fries your CPU.
: your hair gets all dry and frizzy because those northerly winds (and they come indeed directly out of a gigantic hair dryer) mess with it all day.
: hours after the first rain in a month your roof gets invaded with green tree frogs and you have to wear ear protecion or risk loosing your hearing. On top of that, they will sit in your guttering and cause a minor flood.
: three days later those frogs get boiled alive on your roof and now you can endulge in their rotting smell (good luck they disintegrate faster than possums).
: your fridge is totally overloaded and has a hard time keeping up with cooling because the only food you don't have to stuff in there comes in tins.
aufisch dreams of snow and ice
You know it is summer in Australia when...
: the only time you can turn on your computer is between 3am and 9am, the only time it is cool enough inside your house, everything else fries your CPU.
: your hair gets all dry and frizzy because those northerly winds (and they come indeed directly out of a gigantic hair dryer) mess with it all day.
: hours after the first rain in a month your roof gets invaded with green tree frogs and you have to wear ear protecion or risk loosing your hearing. On top of that, they will sit in your guttering and cause a minor flood.
: three days later those frogs get boiled alive on your roof and now you can endulge in their rotting smell (good luck they disintegrate faster than possums).
: your fridge is totally overloaded and has a hard time keeping up with cooling because the only food you don't have to stuff in there comes in tins.
aufisch dreams of snow and ice
Lecrayon
Reply #16 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 10:47 PM
Reply #16 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 10:47 PM
Guess what happened North east of Mel in the hills....We put the fire on, inside that is, just when you are out of woodlogs >
[Message Edited]
[Message Edited]
Chris TH
Reply #17 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 11:33 PM
Rain?? Oh, yeah, me dad told me about that once... water dripping from the sky or somesuch nonsense
Flood?? got me there
Hearing protection is required however for the CICADAs! It's like permanent tinnitus @ 100dB!
Reply #17 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 11:33 PM
| : hours after the first rain in a month your roof gets invaded with green tree frogs and you have to wear ear protecion or risk loosing your hearing. On top of that, they will sit in your guttering and cause a minor flood. |
Rain?? Oh, yeah, me dad told me about that once... water dripping from the sky or somesuch nonsense
Flood?? got me there
Hearing protection is required however for the CICADAs! It's like permanent tinnitus @ 100dB!
wombat_1
Reply #18 Wednesday, January 14, 2004 8:45 AM
Ah yes .... "Summer" in FNQ!
The mildew that grows before your eyes ..... 90% humidity will do that every time!
I quite liked the Green Tree Frogs (well, not the ones who took up residence in the dunny!) but those bloody Cane Toads!>
The idiots who imported them into the country should have receive a severe broiling ..... 'shooted, rooted and electrocuted' just about sums it up.
Aside from the noise (re-deep ... re-deep .... re-deep... ALL NIGHT!) and the poisonous skin problem, step on one and you're A over T at a rate of knots ... friend of mine used to remove them from his garden with a putter .... or maybe a driver .... a seven iron ...... but not a wedge!
Very nasty, hit a Cane Toad with a wedge and you end up wearing it .....
Reply #18 Wednesday, January 14, 2004 8:45 AM
| : three days later those frogs get boiled alive on your roof and now you can endulge in their rotting smell (good luck they disintegrate faster than possums). |
Ah yes .... "Summer" in FNQ!
The mildew that grows before your eyes ..... 90% humidity will do that every time!
I quite liked the Green Tree Frogs (well, not the ones who took up residence in the dunny!) but those bloody Cane Toads!>
The idiots who imported them into the country should have receive a severe broiling ..... 'shooted, rooted and electrocuted' just about sums it up.
Aside from the noise (re-deep ... re-deep .... re-deep... ALL NIGHT!) and the poisonous skin problem, step on one and you're A over T at a rate of knots ... friend of mine used to remove them from his garden with a putter .... or maybe a driver .... a seven iron ...... but not a wedge!
Very nasty, hit a Cane Toad with a wedge and you end up wearing it .....
IPlural
Reply #19 Wednesday, January 14, 2004 11:24 AM
Reply #19 Wednesday, January 14, 2004 11:24 AM
brr, nippy today here in Florida 
I've been wondering after reading this thread since the start. With as hot as it is I would guess that Humans and Crocodiles tend to share the same space in water when swimming more often now than say 10 years ago?
Reason I wonder is that since the Alligator was pt on the Endangered Species list years back they took them off because of their rebound. Now though, so many are about that each year at least two or three people if not more end up doing a roll and ending up brunch. Many have lost all fear of humans because of people feeding them like pets. Actually had a guy stick his head in a culvert (manhole) looking for one that snapped down on his head and held onto him for a few bit before they cold get to it and kill it to save him, frankly speaking he could have ended up a snack and it would have improved the gene pool.
Oh, and here in Florida as a kid I remember walking bare foot every where and twice the calluses on the bottom of my feet pealed off because blisters had formed from the ball of my feet to the heal after spending three days out at the beach walking on blacktop. That happen there also?
I've been wondering after reading this thread since the start. With as hot as it is I would guess that Humans and Crocodiles tend to share the same space in water when swimming more often now than say 10 years ago?
Reason I wonder is that since the Alligator was pt on the Endangered Species list years back they took them off because of their rebound. Now though, so many are about that each year at least two or three people if not more end up doing a roll and ending up brunch. Many have lost all fear of humans because of people feeding them like pets. Actually had a guy stick his head in a culvert (manhole) looking for one that snapped down on his head and held onto him for a few bit before they cold get to it and kill it to save him, frankly speaking he could have ended up a snack and it would have improved the gene pool.
Oh, and here in Florida as a kid I remember walking bare foot every where and twice the calluses on the bottom of my feet pealed off because blisters had formed from the ball of my feet to the heal after spending three days out at the beach walking on blacktop. That happen there also?
c242
Reply #20 Wednesday, January 14, 2004 1:16 PM
Reply #20 Wednesday, January 14, 2004 1:16 PM
You know it is summer in Australia when...
...crazy germans are doing silly tv shows there... (insert the one lost wc emoticon here)
...crazy germans are doing silly tv shows there...
(insert the one lost wc emoticon here)
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Reply #1 Sunday, January 11, 2004 7:08 PM