Feeling Rather Sad Right Now

and will take a break from WC for a few days.

Monday, November 22, 2021 by starkers | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk

As the title says, I'm feeling rather sad because my mate, housemate and carer passed away on Sunday morning at 2.30am.  I was awoken around 1.00am by a call for help.  When I got to Steve's room he was delirious, incoherent and unresponsive, very agitated and unable to breathe properly.  I tried to calm him down and relax but he was not responsive to anything I said or did to ease his panic, etc.  In the meantime Shaunna had called for an ambulance

I'm not a doctor but I believe he was having an asthma attack when I got there and I tried to apply his inhaler but he was too delirious by then to take it.  It seemed like he was having a massive stroke because whatever he was trying to say was slurred and garbled, and movement down his left side had ceased.

When the paramedics arrived they asked if I would perform CPR while they set up their equipment and one of them could take over.  By this time Steve lost consciousness and had gone into cardiac arrest.  That was the scariest thing.  I'd never performed CPR on a person before, just a practice dummy, and here I was doing it on my mate, a bloke I'd become rather close with and didn't want to lose. 

There were 5 paramedics and they worked on him for an hour or more, giving him 3 shots of adrenaline while continuing the CPR. Sadly, they were unable to revive him and called time of death as 2.30am. 

That's when the reality of it all hit me... my mate had gone despite all the efforts to revive him.  In fact I'm still trying to process it.  I know it is true but it still feels so unreal.  About the only comfort is that the lead paramedic told Shaunna, Karrolleanne [our new housemate] and I is that if they could have brought Steve back, he would have been significantly impaired due to the stroke and lack of oxygen to his brain for almost 2 hours.

That makes it a little easier to bear but I'm still going to miss him like crazy... our chats about cricket, rugby league, music and movies over a couple of beers on our back patio.

Anyhow, I'll take a few days away from WC to process it all, and I'll be back, probably after the funeral next Thursday afternoon at 2.00pm

JanOscar
Reply #1 Monday, November 22, 2021 7:05 PM

Sorry for your loss.  

Jafo
Reply #2 Monday, November 22, 2021 8:23 PM

That's sad news, Mark.  I feel your loss.

We are off to a funeral this Friday...an ex brother-in-law, only in his 50's ...pancreatic cancer.

DaveRI
Reply #3 Monday, November 22, 2021 10:22 PM

I'm sorry to hear that Starkers, that's a lot.  Hang tough.

don5318
Reply #4 Monday, November 22, 2021 10:41 PM

Sorry to hear about your mate Mark...

RedneckDude
Reply #5 Monday, November 22, 2021 11:00 PM

Damn, sad news always seems to come near holidays.  My condolences Mark.

 

SamEVO
Reply #6 Tuesday, November 23, 2021 7:35 AM

I'm truly saddened to read this post. Take your time and get your head straight again. RIP, Steve.

teddybearcholla
Reply #7 Tuesday, November 23, 2021 8:33 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, Mark   

DrJBHL
Reply #8 Tuesday, November 23, 2021 9:54 AM

Mark, again, my condolences. Such a sad, shocking thing to lose someone that close. May he rest in peace. The EMT was correct about the likely results of such a lengthly resuscitation.

 

Take the time, old friend. My condolences to Shaunna, as well.

LightStar
Reply #9 Tuesday, November 23, 2021 10:40 AM

Sorry to hear this Mark, prayers your way.

PhoenixRising1
Reply #10 Tuesday, November 23, 2021 11:27 AM

That sounds hard, I don't think there is anything more you could have done in that situation and don't ever blame yourself. Sorry for your loss

Dcrew57
Reply #11 Wednesday, December 1, 2021 7:09 PM

So sad to hear. Never easy but watching them pass in front of you is worse. Hang on there. You will get thru this. Time helps heal.

starkers
Reply #12 Sunday, December 5, 2021 5:49 PM

Thanks to all for their condolences and kind words.  It hasn't been the easiest time but it is getting better as time passes.  The hard part is that Steve was just 54 and we had plans for our back yard. 

We don't have anywhere in the yard to plant anything so we purchased 7 raised garden beds and the soil to fill them.  Next we were going to a nursery to purchase some plants, things like grape vines, tomato vines, various vegetables and herbs, some roses and one of Steve's favourites, venus flytraps. 

Sadly, Steve didn't make it that far, but to honour his name I purchased red, pink and yellow roses, the colours of his favourite footy team, the Brisbane Broncos, and planted them in the garden bed where he wanted them.  I also got some tomato vines and some vegetable seedlings to plant, and when the grape vines become available I shall get some of those.... not forgetting, of course, the venus flytraps.

Yeah, keeping busy and doing those things we were going to do together helps, and hopefully I can create a garden Steve will be proud of.... I say "will" because I still feel his presence and he will be looking down to see what I've done.

Again, thanks to everyone.

starkers
Reply #13 Monday, December 6, 2021 1:28 AM

Things here have turned for the worst and I am moving back to Queensland..... ALONE.  It's not what I wanted but things here have become untenable.... no thanks to a bitch who latched onto Steve some time ago and now makes my life difficult in any way she can. 

I've spoken to Shaunna about it but it falls on deaf ears.  As soon as I can pack my stuff and find a place up there to go I'm out of here.... I've no reason to stay anymore.

starkers
Reply #14 Tuesday, December 7, 2021 5:34 PM

Things here have settled down some, though I'm still rather unhappy with a few things, but I can't leave Shaunna in the lurch with rent and bills, etc, so will stay on to save her unnecessary financial difficulty.

Dcrew57
Reply #15 Monday, December 20, 2021 6:58 PM

People get greedy in another's passing. Karma has its ways.

mrs_starkers1
Reply #16 Friday, January 7, 2022 6:56 AM

I just wanted to share some pics  of me and steve

starkers
Reply #17 Saturday, January 8, 2022 6:57 PM

mrs_starkers1

I just wanted to share some pics of me and steve

I didn't have any of my own, so thanks for sharing.    

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