Okay......okay.......gotta throw my three cents into it.

Both of them are so old the big bang hadn't been lit yet. (Starkers held the pea while Doc searched for his matches).

You don't know how true that is.... bastard went out twice yesterday and left me here all alone while it was having a good time.

And another thing!   If I'm thinking about a little bit of nookie, it gives a me an almighty twinge and says "oh no yer don't.".

It's no fun having a crook back.  The nurse said the other day: "Orright, bend over and touch your toes.".... I couldn't even reach me knees.

Not only that, it can get yer into trouble.  Was in line to pay at the register one day and put my back out picking up a dollar coin I'd dropped.  I couldn't straighten up, and when the woman in front of me stepped back slightly, and my nose touched he bottom, she hit me with her brolly and called me a dirty old man.  Now that may be true, but honestly, I didn't deserve it that time.

Ya know, Doc is so old he has to update his insurance and have a full medical when he passes GO in Monopoly.  And when he plays hide and go pee down at the nursing home, they usually have to organise a search party, it takes him that long to 'tinkle'

And Jafo's so old, God asked him to proof read the Ten Commandments before handing them down to Moses.

When I went to round on Starkers in the Old Pirates' Home:

Starkers: "Well, give me the bad news first."

Me: "You're older than dirt. You might have six months left."

Starkers: "OH NO! That's awfull! In six months my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???"

Me: "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three seconds you are going to forget everything I told you." 

Starkers: "Well, give me the bad news first."

Syd: You're so old that when you sink your teeth into a steak, they stay there...and 'Happy Hour' means a nap.

Doc, you're so old you don't even fart dust anymore.  No, the dust became a solid layer of dirt and is now believed to be one of the oldest fossils ever discovered.

Not only that, you're so old that these days your knees buckle but your belt won't

And what makes me laugh.... getting a little 'action' is just your laxative working.

Truth is, you're so old that you helped Darwin write his The Theory of Evolution... because you were there from day one

Hehe, and your wrinkles are so deep they can now be seen from outer space.

Never mind, you still have a gleam in your eyes.... or is that the sun hitting your bifocals?

that would explain why, when he said he had insomnia, they told him to "take 2 tablets and go to bed".  

*goans

Starkers knows knows he's old because the candles cost more than the cake, and he's so old they canceled his blood type!

That's nothing!  They haven't made a cake big enough to hold all your birthday candles.

In fact, you're so old, they replaced your blood with hydraulic oil so you don't completely fossilise and seize up.

As for Jafo having to take two tablets, well he had some [age related] difficulty so rang Samsung: "How the fech am I supposed to swallow these big bastards?"

Luckily my birthday cake is as fossilized as I am...and stone candles? Nah, only a volcano can burn them.

But you? Your cake comes with a soundtrack...no, not the birthday song. The soundtrack from the big bang (or was that the Big Toot-Toot?). 

who said anything about swallowing?

So that's why your birthday party guests find excuses to leave early.... long, long, long before the chainsaw comes out to cut the darned thing.

As for the sound-track that comes with my cake, that's Trogladite by The Jimmy Castor Bunch

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCV6paTXyCU[/video

And you're so old that you knew the Trogladytes earliest ancestors on a personal level.... as a doctor even 'birthed' the very first Trogladytes family's kids for 'em.... like how far back in BC was that?

ahhhh..that would be explain the conglomerate layer...it was once a sultana cake... 

Starkers...there's nothing older than the big bang. End of discussion. Mwahahaha! Oh, and pink is definitely your color! 

Syd...I told 'en to make it out of several twinkies (they last almost as long as starkers is old) but they didn't. More's the pity.

But I'm really proud of Syd...despite her age, she doesn't feel old. In fact she doesn't feel much of anything until noon and then it's time for her nap.

the pic where it  says inflation , shouldn't that be deflated

Well, I was referring to 1) His waist and 2) the inflation stage of the early universe...deflation? Well, didn't want to bring it up (nyuk, nyuk).

Yes there is!   And you were there.... handing out laxatives to constipated angels.

And pink maybe be my colour on days that begin with P, but it suits you better every day.

In fact, I'll bet you're wearing your fave pair of frilly pink undies right now... and your lacy black suspender belt and black stockings.

Truth is, however, you're so old that you taught Methuselah's 900 y/o great, great grandpappy how to cross-dress in style when he was just a lad.

aaah yes I should have noticed that lol

Everybody is so old the new handle is......"Old Farts Inc."

ill pay that one hehehehe

Now you mention it, you're so old that your farts contain gas particles from the big bang... and your heartburn is caused by volcanic ash you inhaled during the first prehistoric eruption.

sorry for being late but happy birthday Doc