The Female Anatomy
Friday, March 11, 2016 by JuniorCrooks | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
I’m not very clued up on the female anatomy and I need some help to clarify two female terms.
Some time ago there was a shoot-out between the police and would-be bank robbers in town. A female police office was wounded. The newspaper reported on her condition, and I quote: “She is in intensive care but the bullet has not been removed from her yet.” The next day the paper did a follow up on her condition. I quote again: “She is in a stable condition and the bullet has been removed from her now.”
This confused me. The two statements seem to contradict each other. Why did they remove the bullet from her NOW if she was shot in her YET?
I called the reporter on the day that the first report was published and asked her where a woman’s YET is located. She probably suffered from PMS because she hanged the phone up on me. Women!
I did not see my way open to call her again the next day when she did the second report. 
But being bright as I am, I solved half the mystery by logic deduction. I reasoned that if she was shot in her YET, the bullet had to go through it to embed itself in her NOW. From this I derived that these two organs or body parts must be in close proximity to each other and, as I don’t have such organs, I can only assume that it must be female organs or at least something hidden under her dress.
But I still don’t know where is a woman’s YET or her NOW. If somebody can enlighten me, I’d be very grateful.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Reply #3 Friday, March 11, 2016 7:03 PM
Sorry, Junior, but I can't enlighten you. I haven't seen any female anatomy in so long I've forgotten where the 'Yet' and 'Now' are situated. Now if they're hiddeen underneath the dress/skirt, I'd have absolutely no idea whatsoever. It has been so long since I ventured into that territory, I now call it The Never Never Land.
I do, however, know where 'Sweet' and 'Sour' are located. They're kept in one of those Over-The Shoulder Boulder Holders. Apparently they're very good flopper stoppers, but I digress. Anyway, I remember where 'Sweet' and 'Sour' are cos I went to breast feeding classes with my 1st wife, and all these other women were there, too. I mean, how could I forget 'Sweet' and 'Sour'? There was such a lot of it about... everywhere I looked.
And I'll never forget when the nurse teaching the group said: "Now ladies, I want you to express yourselves."
The room was silent, hardly one lady said a word, but talk about copping an eyeful. I had some running down the back of my neck from the lady behind, and the lady in front got me twice. Once in the eye, and the second time when I went "Oi" to the lady behind.
I know, it's not 'Yet' and 'Now'.... but it could turn out to be useful information one day... like if you suddenly find yourself in a breast feeding class or a titty bar, though the former 'd be the least expensive.... it's the one with the free drinks.
Reply #4 Friday, March 11, 2016 11:45 PM
I'll tell you LATER.
Well I knew you would be the one who could enlighten me.
Starkers I appreciate the valuable info. I now understand why I am fond of sweet and sour 
Reply #6 Saturday, March 12, 2016 4:52 AM
Only the sheila can tell you that. Once it is processed it all taste like chicken that came out of the arse end of a moose.
Reply #7 Saturday, March 12, 2016 5:17 AM
Women here have something called a DOUBREY.
To know what that is I think you have to be a master of the dark arts...
Reply #8 Saturday, March 12, 2016 7:27 AM
Yet...Now...Later...the other ones......all somewhat mysterious and not to be taken lightly (depending on whether the female in question is full bodied, mid bodied or a carpenter's dream). Everything else is a distant memory.
Reply #9 Saturday, March 12, 2016 7:31 AM
Only the sheila can tell you that. Once it is processed it all taste like chicken that came out of the arse end of a moose.
I didn't know that moose ate chicken. In any case, I don't fancy sampling any. 
Women here have something called a DOUBREY.
To know what that is I think you have to be a master of the dark arts...
A DOUBREY, eh? Now I'm no master of the dark arts, though I've mastered a few dark ladies, but I think a DOUBREY is an alluring term women use to get desperate men to spend money on them. And when the cash flow stops/runs out, the poor blokes find it's just a fancy term for chastity belt.
Speaking of chastity belts... not getting any, me old fuzzster. You may not know where the 'Yet' or Now' are located, but you sure know where the "NOT NOW!" is.
Reply #11 Saturday, March 12, 2016 8:06 AM
I can't believe what I'm hearing... the geese are coming home. wow All our snow is just bout gone. These teen temps this week will take care of it.
One word, EXTREME. But very welcome.
Banned for springing ahead on Sunday morning for another time. 
And not to be confused with that furry yetti, the yet is located at the top of the females head to the soul of her feet. Yet, I sense some trepidation. Yet is not to be confused with never. In spacey timey wimey terms, it's the Y . Now, we're talkin. 
Reply #12 Saturday, March 12, 2016 8:15 AM
Interestingly, I looked up the definition for doubrey:
Reply #14 Sunday, March 13, 2016 5:56 AM
At least I know what it is when the ladies are talking about a man and they talk about IT...
Reply #15 Sunday, March 13, 2016 10:05 PM
At least I know what it is when the ladies are talking about a man and they talk about IT...
It's okay knowing what 'IT' is, but there's a big difference in knowing 'IT' and getting to use 'IT' to do 'IT'.
Never mind, there's more important things on this Earth.... beer, for instance.
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Reply #1 Friday, March 11, 2016 5:00 PM
I'll tell you LATER.