GM vs Micro$oft--joke :>
Saturday, January 18, 2003 by Lord Vimal | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
here's another one
*****
General Motors vs. Microsoft...
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Mr. Gates` comments, General Motors issued the following press release (by Mr. Welch himself, the GM CEO: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice daily.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver, such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
4. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive.
6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by one "general car default" warning light.
7. New seats would force everyone to have the samesize bottom.
8. The airbag system would ask ("Are you sure?" before going off).
9. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary),even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car`s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice department.
11. Every time GM introduced a new model car,buyers would have to learn driving all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
12. You`d press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
*****
General Motors vs. Microsoft...
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Mr. Gates` comments, General Motors issued the following press release (by Mr. Welch himself, the GM CEO: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice daily.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver, such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
4. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive.
6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by one "general car default" warning light.
7. New seats would force everyone to have the samesize bottom.
8. The airbag system would ask ("Are you sure?" before going off).
9. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary),even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car`s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice department.
11. Every time GM introduced a new model car,buyers would have to learn driving all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
12. You`d press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
snarph
Reply #2 Saturday, January 18, 2003 5:03 PM
Reply #2 Saturday, January 18, 2003 5:03 PM
Although I am regular user of Microsoft thats hitting preaty close to the mark 
goodmorphing
Reply #5 Saturday, January 18, 2003 6:59 PM
Reply #5 Saturday, January 18, 2003 6:59 PM
HEH.... here is my "GM vs. Microsoft" interchange recently...
GM: I want to cancel.
MS: Why?
GM: I don't love you any more.
MS: How could that be. Here, try us for three more months free.
GM: Not really interested. Got a new computer, don't want you on it.
MS: Oh pleassssssssssssse.
GM: goodmorphing thinks geeze, now i know why they don't have a cancel button.
Three months later.
GM: Cancel my ISP.
MS: Why?
GM: ***CRINGE*** Don't like you no more.
MS: Try three free months....
GM; (two months later) LET ME GO!
MS: We have free offers
GM: I KNOW! I don't want to talk about it, just let me go.......
sigh... breaking up is hard to do.....
GM: I want to cancel.
MS: Why?
GM: I don't love you any more.
MS: How could that be. Here, try us for three more months free.
GM: Not really interested. Got a new computer, don't want you on it.
MS: Oh pleassssssssssssse.
GM: goodmorphing thinks geeze, now i know why they don't have a cancel button.
Three months later.
GM: Cancel my ISP.
MS: Why?
GM: ***CRINGE*** Don't like you no more.
MS: Try three free months....
GM; (two months later) LET ME GO!
MS: We have free offers
GM: I KNOW! I don't want to talk about it, just let me go.......
sigh... breaking up is hard to do.....
da_zman20
Reply #6 Sunday, January 19, 2003 2:23 AM
Reply #6 Sunday, January 19, 2003 2:23 AM
that sounds alot like like ao-hell GM... ha ha ha...
JamMeister33
Reply #7 Sunday, January 19, 2003 2:43 AM
Reply #7 Sunday, January 19, 2003 2:43 AM
Lord Vimal is holding me hostage while making me listen to bad jokes....
Someone please help me...
Someone please help me...
Weaksid
Reply #9 Sunday, January 19, 2003 6:07 AM
Reply #9 Sunday, January 19, 2003 6:07 AM
Weaksid puts earplugs in JM's Ears.. Oops, too hard, now he lost his hearing.
And GM, I didn't know you were battling Microsoft
And GM, I didn't know you were battling Microsoft
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Reply #1 Saturday, January 18, 2003 2:48 PM