This made me smile......
Sunday, November 10, 2002 by BoXXi | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
You never know how true these things are, but it amused me....
This is a
bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the
Australian equivalent of the Workers Compensation Board. This is
(apparently) a true story.
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
3 of the Accident Report Form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six storey building. When
I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when
weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than
carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using
a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in
Block ll of the Accident Report Form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my
surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of
mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I preceded at a
rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor,
I met the barrel which was now proceeding downwards at an equally impressive
speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and a broken
collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the Accident Report form. Slowed only
slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my
right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time
I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope,
in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time,
however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the
barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed
approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I
began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the
third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured
ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here
my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to
slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and
fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I
again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I
lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down on to me.
This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your enquiry
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aussies eh? Sheesh!
BoXXi runs and ducks at the same time as he knows Jafo is around........
This is a
bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the
Australian equivalent of the Workers Compensation Board. This is
(apparently) a true story.
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
3 of the Accident Report Form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six storey building. When
I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when
weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than
carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using
a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in
Block ll of the Accident Report Form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my
surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of
mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I preceded at a
rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor,
I met the barrel which was now proceeding downwards at an equally impressive
speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and a broken
collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the Accident Report form. Slowed only
slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my
right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time
I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope,
in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time,
however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the
barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed
approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I
began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the
third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured
ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here
my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to
slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and
fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I
again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I
lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down on to me.
This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your enquiry
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aussies eh? Sheesh!
BoXXi runs and ducks at the same time as he knows Jafo is around........
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Angel_Wings
Reply #2 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:06 PM
Reply #2 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:06 PM
Good stuff! Although, I'm feeling a few sympathy pains for the poor bloke now... 
BTW...*she bows ever so gracefully and then trips on her skirt and tumbles to the floor* "er...uh...your tea is ready mi lord."
BTW...*she bows ever so gracefully and then trips on her skirt and tumbles to the floor* "er...uh...your tea is ready mi lord."
BoXXi
Reply #3 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:13 PM
Reply #3 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:13 PM
Won't be long Angela.... just heading down the M1 motorway (freeway) to the airport in London......
Angel_Wings
Reply #4 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:23 PM
I've got crumpets!!!!!!!!!!! And fresh, homemade lemon curd...mmmmmmmmm... 
Reply #4 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:23 PM
I've got crumpets!!!!!!!!!!! And fresh, homemade lemon curd...mmmmmmmmm... 
Angel_Wings
Reply #5 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:28 PM
Reply #5 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:28 PM
Actually, wait! I have crumpets AND scones...and of course, my perfect, butter smooth lemon curd...and a jar of Devonshire Cream and also some of my homemade orange marmalade...
Jafo
Reply #7 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:39 PM
Reply #7 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:39 PM
That's an old one, Bryan...and, I believe, a bit of an Urban Myth. I first heard it imparted on a Radio proggy many years ago....about back when the Goons were still on the air...
BoXXi
Reply #8 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:43 PM
Reply #8 Sunday, November 10, 2002 9:43 PM
Angela: Are you sure you are not English? I think you are just trying to get your hands on my castle in the highlands! 
I think you are just trying to get your hands on my castle in the highlands! 
wombat_1
Reply #10 Monday, November 11, 2002 1:11 AM
Reply #10 Monday, November 11, 2002 1:11 AM
Jafo, it pops up on the ABC midnight-dawn program from time to time, dates back to the late '40s or very early '50s and is regarded as a 'classic' Pommy sketch.
Can't recall the long departed gent who performed it but it is almost in the Sellers-Milligan-Secombe class.
Not unlike 'The Plank' in concept!
BTW ... 'Nigella Bites'.
Can't recall the long departed gent who performed it but it is almost in the Sellers-Milligan-Secombe class.
Not unlike 'The Plank' in concept!
BTW ... 'Nigella Bites'.
Jafo
Reply #11 Monday, November 11, 2002 1:16 AM
Reply #11 Monday, November 11, 2002 1:16 AM
That's right...it WAS a Pommie commedian...someone of the vintage of Frankie Howerd...
Ah, 'The Plank'...that's a classic...got it on video somewhere...
Ah, 'The Plank'...that's a classic...got it on video somewhere...
Fuzzy Logic
Reply #14 Monday, November 11, 2002 1:51 PM
Reply #14 Monday, November 11, 2002 1:51 PM
Sounds more like the Coyote out of Roadrunner, that sort of thing happens to him all the time.
Jafo
Reply #15 Monday, November 11, 2002 5:20 PM
Reply #15 Monday, November 11, 2002 5:20 PM
T-Man...no...but I have been known to cut off the tip of my thumb with a tenon saw, and insert a thin philips screwdriver an inch and a quarter up fom the heel of my hand into my wrist and fry the meat of my thumb with an oxy-acetylene torch....
[If you haven't made a mistake, it's probably because you haven't done anything.....yet]...
[If you haven't made a mistake, it's probably because you haven't done anything.....yet]...
BoXXi
Reply #16 Monday, November 11, 2002 6:14 PM
Reply #16 Monday, November 11, 2002 6:14 PM
Actually, Jafo is correct. Frankie's surname was spelled that way....Howerd.
Jafo
Reply #17 Monday, November 11, 2002 6:27 PM
Reply #17 Monday, November 11, 2002 6:27 PM
Of course I was right, Bryan....I'm ALWAYS right.....[except when I'm wrong]...
feline
Reply #20 Tuesday, November 12, 2002 11:41 AM
Reply #20 Tuesday, November 12, 2002 11:41 AM
dark_seraphim - Actually, wait! I have crumpets AND scones...and of course, my perfect, butter smooth lemon curd...and a jar of Devonshire Cream and also some of my homemade orange marmalade...
at the risk of intruding, can anyone visit?
feline *drool*
feline *thoughts of fresh scones and cream*
feline *DROOL*
at the risk of intruding, can anyone visit?
feline *drool*
feline *thoughts of fresh scones and cream*
feline *DROOL*
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Reply #1 Sunday, November 10, 2002 8:57 PM
Very funny Boxxi...Thanks