Assigning a Gender to Nouns...
Friday, December 14, 2001 by DavidK | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Please excuse the OT/spam nature of this but I thought it was a cute exercise, and I wondered what the folks here could come up with. Add your own to the thread...
===================================
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:
===================================
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
PENLIGHT -- male, because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up; because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed; because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
===================================
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:
===================================
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
PENLIGHT -- male, because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up; because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed; because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
Griffinme
Reply #2 Saturday, December 15, 2001 10:15 AM
Reply #2 Saturday, December 15, 2001 10:15 AM
COMPUTERS -- female, because if you don't treat them right they complain if not treated right, tend to do wierd things that make you go "Why did it do/say that?", and those that truly understand them are held in awe.
Splash0453
Reply #3 Monday, December 17, 2001 7:40 AM
Reply #3 Monday, December 17, 2001 7:40 AM
Computers - are you sure. I'd say both:
Male >> not enough memory and impossible to figure out. (execpt for aliens like me)
Female >> can do things right if nagged enough. But every mistake is commited to memory.
Male >> not enough memory and impossible to figure out. (execpt for aliens like me)
Female >> can do things right if nagged enough. But every mistake is commited to memory.
feline
Reply #5 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 10:59 AM
Reply #5 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 10:59 AM
i would like to take exception to this!
since i spent most of my english lessons failing to understand english spelling rules, i dont actually know what a "Noun" is, and am quite happy in my ignorance, before people start telling me
my second objection is that school once inflicted french on me (as if i wasnt having enough fun with english), and that had gendered words.
appart from that, HEHEHEHE
since i spent most of my english lessons failing to understand english spelling rules, i dont actually know what a "Noun" is, and am quite happy in my ignorance, before people start telling me
my second objection is that school once inflicted french on me (as if i wasnt having enough fun with english), and that had gendered words.
appart from that, HEHEHEHE
feline
Reply #6 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:08 AM
Reply #6 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:08 AM
Splash! - Computers - are you sure. I'd say both:
Male >> not enough memory and impossible to figure out. (execpt for aliens like me)
Female >> can do things right if nagged enough. But every mistake is commited to memory.
somewhere there are a couple lists, i think 10 items each. one of why computers must be male, and the other of why computers must be female. i just dont know where i have put it
men are impossible to figure out???
men are easy to understand, and women arent that much more complex
its groups that are impossible to understand
Male >> not enough memory and impossible to figure out. (execpt for aliens like me)
Female >> can do things right if nagged enough. But every mistake is commited to memory.
somewhere there are a couple lists, i think 10 items each. one of why computers must be male, and the other of why computers must be female. i just dont know where i have put it
men are impossible to figure out???
men are easy to understand, and women arent that much more complex
its groups that are impossible to understand
feline
Reply #7 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:15 AM
Reply #7 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:15 AM
Ash - Where's my ten foot pole?
was it a long, thin, slightly nobbly thing that looked just like a massive mint chocolate sweetie by any chance?
feline does innocent expression no 54
was it a long, thin, slightly nobbly thing that looked just like a massive mint chocolate sweetie by any chance?
feline does innocent expression no 54
JavaBrain
Reply #8 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:21 AM
Reply #8 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:21 AM
Sponges are male! Hasn't anyone ever seen spongebob squarepants?
feline
Reply #9 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:36 AM
Reply #9 Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:36 AM
i have *no* idea what you are talking about there, so probably not 
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Reply #1 Friday, December 14, 2001 6:03 PM