Feline...as I probably said once before....most people would consider it common courtesy to not mis-represent themselves as something they are not, or allow confusion and/or uncertainty to prevail.
It is disrespectful of your communiciation recipient, tantamount to lying by admission/omission.

Because of this, although you believe you are being 'cute', I simply endure the subterfuge.

I have little interest in playing games with a false non-entity.
I prefer to communicate with 'real people' who apply the code of mutual respect...

Jafo throws 'it' a bar of chocolate after admonishing 'it'...

hmmm says a buncha more big words but basically means being sneaky...

cats "are" sneaky though???

...now, where is that cat?

off being sneaky and hiding that chocolate... hehe

I think feline is male though trans... =/

you could be right Dor....to be honest I really don't care
Transmutate sits on the box and waits for an answer

Yeah, but he said: "the gender of my mind". So this is not about physique.

he said???
hmmm me wonders if crae know something we don't know for sures? hehe

regardless of the state of society, gender is an issue and does effect how most people react. And yes it does give some of the members a guideline as to who to flirt with and who not to. As for the subterfuge aspect I agree. The net is the one place that people can truely be themselves and open up all the closed sides of their personality. Giving a false sense of who you are is like the diguise so many people must wear in the day to day life. Yes personal info such as real name, addy, and etc are kept at bay, out of a sense of privacy. The main aspects are still nice to know and polite to let people know a general idea of who a person is inside and out. The net is fantastic to know who a person is in the mind. For the communication is mostly that of thought and emotion. Without a sense of the physical aspects of the person on the other end, there is an erie surreal sense to it. Kind of like talking to a invisible ghost that is trying to hide something. Plus I think this community is pretty opened minded, at least enough to accept most part of life....

Plus it would be nice to know so we can end the confussion of this thread.

oh for your files like it matters, I am a male that is out on a weekend pass and looking forward to getting back for shock theropy.

and I don't care either feline, you don't have to expose yourself that's your business if you want to be a cat, look at everyone else, that hides behind their nicks? hehe

fe·line (fln)
adj.
1.Of or belonging to the family Felidae, which includes the lions, tigers, jaguars, and wild and domestic cats; felid.

2.Suggestive of a cat, as in suppleness or stealthiness.

going by number 2 I know I am truly confused now, but that is a normal state. it is your choice and the only person it really matters to is you...

Jafo:
Feline...as I probably said once before....most people would consider it common courtesy to not mis-represent themselves as something they are not, or allow confusion and/or uncertainty to prevail.
It is disrespectful of your communiciation recipient, tantamount to lying by admission/omission.

this may sound strange, but i agree with everything you have said, which is part of the reason i have started this thread in the first place.

i *do* care for others opinions of me, perhaps more than i should, and for that reason i would prefer it if you understood what seems to be going on here.

i have *never* intentionally set out to mis-represent myself here. to set things straight, my body is male. but i don’t see that this gets me very far.

from my words alone people seem to conclude that i am female. i have not set out to be anything other than what i am, so what does this mean?

a) people are no good at gauging the gender of a person by their words
i am carrying on some cunning plan to dupe everyone. i am not, but i would say this anyway if i were, making this an un-provable point
c) the way my mind works is not clearly and solely male or female

it is worth pointing out that i am hardly the only person here with a gender neutral nick, and also that my birth name is clearly indicated in my profile, which i think most people will agree is quite gender specific (for the lazy readers, it is "colin").

so perhaps the issue is more one of my response to how i am seen?

in which case, i am quite willing to admit to feeling flattered that i am considered to be female, since i have an extremely low opinion of the stereotypical human male (note this is NOT a reference to anyone here, just to avoid that potential pitfall, there are enough here already), based on many years of bad experiences with them.

i am not saying that females are fundamentally better humans, only that over the last 28 years i have found them to be less unforgiving (its the nearest word i can find) of my different take on life and my place in the world.

as far as i can tell, the bottom line is that i have always tried to be me, and that this has lead to confusion in certain quarters. what would you (Jafo) or anyone have me say about this?

one route would be to apologise for what i am, but i have spent enough years doing that already, and it has yet to get me anywhere.

i could ware a big sign saying "has a male body", but this is basically the same thing, since it is apologizing for my mind, which i consider to be my only redeeming feature (add self esteem issues to mental gender and species confusion).

these circular arguments (in conjunction with other pressures, both social and mental) have lead me to place myself outside of the human race on my mental map, since i can find no acceptable "stereotype" to identify with.

i am now going to take a slight tangent, fell free to agree / disagree, but i would like to know why:
from many years of watching humans, i have noticed that people are happiest in groups (even me).

watch a large group of children at play, see how they form groups. the easiest way of defining a group is to say "person A is not in this group, but person B is". a group seems basically to be a way of dividing everyone into one of 2 (and only 2) categories, those in the group and those outside the group.

now comes stage 2, the group can bond together by uniting against the outsiders. this is easy when the outsiders are not part of a group themselves, hence bullying ensues.

now look at adults. many human adults seem to use a more subtle version of the same thinking, but they recognise many more than 2 groups.

however, if someone comes along who doesn’t fit into any one of the existing groups, then this threatens the whole frame work, which is a very unsettling experience for the unsettled person. this can lead towards significant unpleasantness for the outsider.

MobiusCo - As for the subterfuge aspect I agree. The net is the one place that people can truely be themselves and open up all the closed sides of their personality. Giving a false sense of who you are is like the diguise so many people must wear in the day to day life.

here, i can only reiterate that the impression that people are developing that i am female presumably flows directly from my words. if they are using some other, more mystical, system then that is outside of my control.

you seem to be working on the basis that i am somehow twisting myself in my presentations. i am not. at work i am known (among other things) as "that strange one in the corner". this is who / what i am.

as for the disguise i must ware every day, yes there are things i feel i must keep hidden from others, at work and at here. but if people cannot accept the more socially acceptable sides of my personalities (deliberate plural) then is it any wonder that the more unsettling parts are kept under wraps?

MobiusCo - The main aspects are still nice to know and polite to let people know a general idea of who a person is inside and out. The net is fantastic to know who a person is in the mind. For the communication is mostly that of thought and emotion. Without a sense of the physical aspects of the person on the other end, there is an erie surreal sense to it. Kind of like talking to a invisible ghost that is trying to hide something.

you have a slightly different perspective on this to me. personally i get that "eerie surreal sense" even with people in person, since i tend to have no idea who they are, what they want, or why they are talking to me.

people get upset when i don’t know who they are, but humans are just blobs to me until i have got to know them, at which point they become people. i don’t know if this is how others think, but it is how my mind works. as a suitable example i couldn’t describe my work colleges beyond gender and a vague indication of height and build. i have been working with these people for 3 years, recognise them on sight, but still they are just familiar blobs.

so with this as a start point, it is hardly surprising that i don’t consider my (unsatisfactory) physical form to be a major point of conversation during a meeting of minds.

MobiusCo - Plus I think this community is pretty opened minded, at least enough to accept most part of life....

many years of experience have taught me that a lot of humans are not all that tolerant. also the recent "war's" around here seem to indicate that intolerance also rears its head here. i am not drawing direct parallels, but once burnt, twice shy.

MobiusCo - Plus it would be nice to know so we can end the confusion of this thread.

only if the confusion is limited to the gender of my body.

MobiusCo - fe·line (fln)


on a lighter note, since after 28 years of exposure to them, i feel no massive urge to claim kinship to my tormentors (humans), i cast around in my history of forms, and the world around me.

if you approach a settled cat in the right way they will normally just accept you for what you are. if they dismiss you, then it is not about you as a person. they can live within human hierarchies without becoming part of the hierarchy.

overall, felines have many enviable traits.

and in a broader scope, many worthwhile milestones in the history of the forging of the pan-dimensional oracles were members of the "cat-people's".

so the choice was logical.

Doreen:
Paxx and trans thinks feline is a female?
me thinks possibly male (but "still" not certain)

so Doreen, has this made it more or less confusing?

Feline:

I guess this is what's making us a fun pair to keep up with the crazy threads in this community.

In the.. five years I've had access to the internet world, and the 3-4 years I've gained access to a chatroom, msgboard, and other posting services...I have, again and again, been mistaken as a guy.

That's right, Elfkura is female..for those of you still wondering which gender I belong to.

There really is no bad thing about mistakening someone as a wrong gender, until the conversation turns NC-17, R, or X rated. Then that'll pose as a problem.

Here's a rather interesting story.

My former online name if Kura, and I visit chatrooms in VP (Virtual Places) a couple of years ago. During that time, I am usually asked whether I am a female or a male....and on one occassion, I think the two guys in the room didn't bother asking me what gender am I. That usually doesn't pose as a problem..until the conversation start getting away from PG rating.

Sex seems to be a prime topic for guys.......and these two find it fun to talk about their sex lives...and during of which...I was away working on my project. I turned back to the computer..to see: "Kura, how long is your penis?" being asked. Finding it very amusing, I finally decided to answer "so small you can't see it." I don't know how dense these two are...but it took them a good 2 minutes to figure out I'm not male.....

When they did, they apologized...and ran...and never to be seen again in the chatroom. It was rather entertaining.....but from that point on, I try to make it known that I am a guy..despite the Sir Elfkura title I may use from time to time .

elfkura, I am now even more confused in the top of the response above you say you are female and in the bottom you say you are a guy...

And to think I thought my mood swings where extreme.

As for mistaken identity, I think most people have run into that in some way shape of form. At one time in my life I moved to a small town, had hair down to the middle of my back, had come out of bad relationship and wanted to just focus on life and work. Needless to say within a few months everyone thought I was gay. After three years when I did start dating again I found it hilarious to see everyones reactions when I walked into a restuarnt with a woman on my arm.

OK yes I am a male and think it is fun to have people be confused if I am straight or gay. TO me it just shows that in the real world it takes time for people to get to know you and learn who you are. On the net it is even more confusssing.

But hey I am always confussed, but the doctors say I am much better now... Boy are they easy to fool......

so Doreen, has this made it more or less confusing?
by feline - 10/27/2001 2:25:33 PM

feline you "always confused me" but atleast I now know your male that is one less thing you can confuse me over... hehe

as for me feline, It's your business if you wanted to be a cat, dog, or giraffe! I was just curious after I seen some strange remarks you directed to me
I tend to get to know ppl on the internet only by "reading through their words" and have found out that some ppl I've grown to know over the internet and have never physically met I "feel" as if I know them better then the ppl I know in the physical world! hehe
does not mean that is true of course! but it could be who knows!
as on the internet you owe nothing to nobody, in real life there's usually some hidden agenda w/ the ppl you meet up front

specially if you're female...

however you happen to be one of those rare ppl that I cannot read at all... hehehe

Okay, I guess I succeeded in throwing a couple of people off track by stating I'm female at the top of the msg...and then saying I'm a guy at the bottom.....

and I'll tell you this much....there's truth in both statements.

I'm a tomboy .