WTF!!! Only 160 Sheets?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 by starkers | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Ya know, I can remember a time in the not so distant past when the average toilet roll held 250 sheets and would cost about $2.99 for a pack 8. And shoot, they'd last a week if your were sparing enough. Yup, those were the good old days, when toilet rolls were substantial and did the job admirably.
Then toilet rolls went down to 240 sheets per roll and they ran out just that bit sooner, so one had to be vigilant for fear of being the one it ran out on.
Now I'm not normally the one to give greedy bastard businessmen the benefit of the doubt, but in this case I did. I gave 'em the benefit of the doubt and put it down to their caring for the environment, protecting native forests and all that.
Then about a year or two later toilet rolls went down to 220 sheets. Yes, that's right 220 measly sheets. Crikey, even the sheets seemed to be smaller [no good if you have big hands/fingers]
Again, I gave the bastards the benefit of the doubt. This time I put it down to the hole on the ozone layer, and how they figured cutting production would reduce the impact.
Hmmmph!!! Well it wasn't too long before the humble toilet roll got slashed yet again, this time to just 200 sheets... and yeah, the sheets were definitely smaller than their predecessors, and as a result people spent more time washing their hands, to be sure, to be sure.
You'd think by now these toilet roll manufacturers would be happy - cutting down from 250 to 200 - but no. The bastards!!!! About a year later they cut 'em from 200 to 180. Worse still, they're charging $6.99 for a pack of 8... more than twice the price of a pack just a few short years ago... and for a lot fucking less product.
No longer am I giving these pricks the benefit of the doubt, this is sheer greed. There's no consioderation for native forests or the ozone layer here, this is unadulterated greed at its worst. Less paper = more rolls, and the more rolls the greater the sales/profits.
Anyway, you guessed it.... they've done it again. I'm fucking furious, let me tell you. Not only did we inadvertently buy toilet rolls with only 160 sheets last week, I was the unlucky bastard who had one run out before the paperwork was finished. Yeah, they might look like bigger rolls n' all, with more than 160 sheets, but they're rolled more loosely just to look that way.... and that's where the bastards get ya.
On appearance, they look like chunky rolls and value for money.... until you're shouting trough a crack in the toilet door: "Get me some fuckin' dunny paper, we're all out in here." And why, because those tight bastards have been cutting sheet quantity and not clearly marking it on the packaging. It's there alright - "Each Roll Contains 160 Sheets" - but it's overwhelmed by floral patterns and in such tiny writing/numerals you need a fucking microscope to read it
Just when I had gotten used to the 180 sheet rolls, and learned to economise so as not to be caught short, they come up 20 sheets short, and here I are, looking for ingenious ways to avoid an embarrassing predicament. I mean, I thought about separating the two ply and not pressing quite so hard... then folding the one remaining sheet in four and tearing out the corner, etc, etc, etc... and keeping the little triangle to clean under my fingernail. However, I grew a set, plucked up the courage, swallowed my pride, forgot about the embarrassment and called out for a replacement roll. The thing is, it shouldn't have been necessary.
That's right, I'm having a rant! I was told it was good for me. In fact, I was told that I should let off steam before I march into Kleenex with my complaint... that it could be the difference between walking out under my own steam when done, or being frog-marched from the premises by security part way into my submission. Yeah, I need to play it cool, no cussing; no threats of gonad removal; no calling him bastard... because places like that will give you heaps of shit if you complain nicely and compliment the staff member on their hair, suit, whatever it takes to get truckloads of free paper products.
And it's not like they don't owe me! I was in there an hour on that cold hard toilet seat waiting to be extricated from my predicament... and when you have arthritic hips that's not a good thing, believe me If we still had one of those backyard thunderboxes and no light, just a candle, I'd be askin' fer two truckloads of free paper products, which 'd help make up for all the short sheeted toilet rolls I've purchased over the years.
Think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill? Well you try sitting on a cold hard toilet seat without paper for an hour plus and see how jovial you are afterward. Then add that, you're so red with embarrassment your feet are freezing cold from a lack of blood.
The fact is, we're getting 90 sheets less than we were 5 - 6 years ago, and we're paying more, double in fact, and there's no justifying it with the preservation of native forests off the table. Yup, not only am I going to petition for the cessation of shortening the rolls, I'm going to petition to have them restored to the 250 sheets of yesteryear.... and not just for myself... for my fellow man.... and woman.
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Reply #22 Tuesday, October 4, 2011 8:44 PM
I noticed the same thing with condoms. It seems they keep getting smaller. I asked the lady at the check out why the condoms seem to be getting smaller and she got all flustered like it was all a big secret and I wasn't supposed to ask about it. This just pissed me off. I mean, and I told her, I'm tired of the damn things breaking all the time. I'd like them not to fucking break as soon as I try to use it, you know. Well, then she just called the manager. I told him what I told her and he chased me out of the fucking store. I asked him what his problem was. I said 'What the hell?! What am I supposed to do? Use balloons? They break even quicker!'
I yelled at him from outside. I said 'Hey, asshole! I'm asking, you know! It's my hard earned money! " He shook his fist at me from the door.
I was like, 'Fine!' I said "See if I come here to buy condoms for my kid and all his freinds again!' He lost it and yelled he was calling the cops.
When I got home I had to explain to my wife and kids why I had no condoms. They took it well. The oldest said he could make his water balloons with regular balloons for mischief night. My family is so understanding.
Reply #24 Tuesday, October 4, 2011 9:41 PM
Anyone want an iScream?
Music to scream to. Last thing you'll worry about is how much it cost.
Reply #26 Tuesday, October 4, 2011 10:01 PM
it reminds me of the song Bastard by Jenny Talia. hmmm now debating as to weather or not to put a video clip up to show what I mean 
Reply #28 Tuesday, October 4, 2011 10:35 PM
good one Doc 
Reply #30 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 3:00 AM
Well, here's one solution to your life threatning problem:
Sell your PC, TV, DVDplayer and car, and stock up on toiletpaper when it's on sale.
Really?! A rant, online about sheets of toiletpaper?!? Really?!?
Reply #31 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 4:01 AM
Quoting starkers, reply 9 TMI, mate,
But its relevant
As relevant as it may be, I dunno TP accidents should get quite that much clarification. 
But then again, for the purposes of a class action suit, maybe we need exceedingly explicit accounts of TP accidents from all over, to greater highlight the huge travesty being perpetrated here.
Yup, I think the United Nations should hold a toilet paper symposium to get to the bottom of this short-sheeting bullshit, then prosecute the mongrels who perform, probably, one of the most dastardly acts known to man... women, too.
Come to think of it, which I do, I'm beginning to dislike toilet paper manufacturers almost as much as I dislike... er, detest bankers.
Reply #32 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 4:14 AM
Hey, and it's 209 sheeets per roll.
Only 209 sheets rer roll? Well there you go, that's how it starts. What's the betting they started off with 210 sheets per roll? Yeah, and I can see what they're up to. If they get away with short-sheeting by just the one and get away with it, next time they'll short-sheet by a few more... and before you know it, you too will be down to the 160 sheet roll with smaller, thinner sheets that are largely inadequate. Or should that be smallely inadequate.
Nah, if I were you, I'd be down at Charmin's factory gate first thing tomorrow morning demanding to know what their game is... and are there any more planned short-sheetings in the works. And if there are, you should be planning large scale protests akin to those on Wall St. Oh, and don't worry if you get arrested, the jail provides its own toilet paper free of charge,
Reply #33 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 4:23 AM
Boardwalk 2 Ply Toilet Paper,
Two-Ply, 4.5 x 3 Sheet Size,
500 Sheets per Roll,
96 Rolls per Case
Our Price $46.45
Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good deal, though I'd be inclined to haggle on price, to see if I could get 'em for $36.45. I'd be watching then, just the same, in case that 500 sheets suddenly becomes 499... or less.
In actual fact, have you counted the sheets to see if you're getting exactly what you paid for?
I suppose, though, that'd be a bit time consuming with a case of 96... and rolling them all back up again.
Reply #34 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 4:33 AM
Hmmm, dunno what kinda gals [guys?] you've been going out with to make that comparison. 
But then again, I do remember this girl I dated.... and this string of love beads.....
If I've told you once, Po`, I've told you a 100 times, you need to upgrade from the AAA's to the AA's. Not only will they NOT break as easitly, they won't cut off your circulation, either. Tehehehehe.
Reply #35 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 4:38 AM
AMG, I snorted coffee out of my nose. I laughed SOOO hard~ 
Reply #36 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 5:04 AM
You are lucky if you have only this problem... 
You know, in my country I have small print company, we are making carton boxes and print materials, so, you ask, why toilet paper so expensive and small, and I can answer you how as one of the paper industry worker. In present time, paper became very expensive, and now for manufacturers not advantageously to produce a paper, many of giant paper factories was closed and it's make paper even more expensive.
So, before the crizis we bought carton for 30-50 cents per one sheet, now it's price 3 DOLLARS....... note, before, we bought high quality carton from Finland and Russia (because making boxes for elite cakes, sweets and pharmacy) now, we can buy only chinese ( suppose you understant which quality, can say only, it's white, by other papametrs this carton sheets just toilet paper)... But, our costumers ask us about chipper price that we have before crizis, crizis crisiz and they have no money... How I can make price chipper than earlier if raw materials became more expensive in 6 times?.... For chipper price I've got to hire new workers, buy new equipment, but how can I do this if costumers accept only price on boxes and prints, that even on half less that price on raw materials?... And this situation take place not only in my country, my friend from US, who also working in print business, tell me that in States, now working only 1 from 10 shops that sold materials for print. So, costumers or just do not order boxes and prints or make boxes from plastic and make advertissment on the web because it's much chipper....
So, here is the problem with toilet paper, it's manufacturers just can't find mackle paper for producing of toilet paper, no prints, no boxes, no paper book ---> no mackle paper ---> no toilet paper.... When we making boxes we have many mackle paper and different toilet paper producters buy it from us, and I know that now, they have very and very bad times and most of them just out of business.... now, you know THE WHOLE TRUTH....
Reply #37 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 6:10 AM
Sell your PC, TV, DVDplayer and car, and stock up on toiletpaper when it's on sale.
Really?! A rant, online about sheets of toiletpaper?!? Really?!?
Not really a rant... just a bit of tongue-in-cheek about something I've noticed over the last few years... how products keep getting a bit of quantity shaved off every once in a while, thus maximising profits for less product.
It's like Ardmona and other canned fruits here in Oz. Not so long ago cans were 240grams... now they're 220 and even 210 grams, with more syrup to make up the weight and less actual fruit.
Worse still, they're scrimping on underwear fabric these days as well. If I buy my regular size jocks nowadays they're like St Paul's Cathedral... no ballroom.
Reply #38 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 6:41 AM
No ballroom?? Holy smokes! How can you dance without ballroom? What about your partner? No twirling up around and over and under? What is this world comin' to? I'm leavin! Stop the world! I wanna get off. Sheesh!
Reply #39 Wednesday, October 5, 2011 12:04 PM
You can't!
1: you couldn't afford the fare
2: 160 sheets of toilet paper won't last that long in space/zero gravity... most will float away before you get the chance to use it
3: if you somehow manage to use some, you won't want it floating all around you in zero gravity.
4: if you run out of toilet paper - and it's on the cards with only 160 sheets per roll - there's no stores nearby to purchase more
5: flushing the toilet could have devastating consequences in zero gravity.... especially if you're still seated
But more importantly, who the fark am I gonna get to crack me up when I need a jolt of funny to brighten my day?
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Reply #21 Tuesday, October 4, 2011 8:28 PM
I noticed the same thing for bar soap.....2 years ago I could use a bar of soap for over a month. Now they whip it to get air into it and I'm lucky if one lasts a week.