Tickle me?...why,yes,it did.
Friday, February 12, 2010 by I.R. Brainiac | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Reply #2 Friday, February 12, 2010 8:57 PM
Oh man, number 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Thank you I.R. I needed that!!!!!
Fn maniac! 
Reply #5 Friday, February 12, 2010 9:35 PM
Two birds with one stone...
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE (PREFERABLE WITH HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE) TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
Reply #8 Friday, February 12, 2010 10:57 PM
So......If I have high blood pressure I should cut my own vegetables?
Reply #9 Friday, February 12, 2010 10:59 PM
Yes, but only with the use of a timer....otherwise you'll be as entertaining as a slinky....only messier....
Reply #10 Saturday, February 13, 2010 4:13 AM
Q) So what should a single vegan do?
A) Eat meat - it will solve the vegetable problem as well as clear up your complexion...
Reply #11 Saturday, February 13, 2010 6:57 AM
hmmm.....I think I'd being taking the mousetrap from on top of the alarm clock......and placing it on the sink... 
then.....duct tape the loo....after giving the tool...a large dose of laxatives...and......an expectorant... 
..wasn't No 1. the Lorena Bobbitt defence?.....I remember her mumbling something about carrots... 
Reply #12 Saturday, February 13, 2010 1:54 PM
And Velcro, gotta have lots of Velcro. Industrial strength.
Reply #13 Saturday, February 13, 2010 2:01 PM
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE (PREFERABLE WITH HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE) TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
tut tut tut as a high blood pressure sufferer i am appalled at this (NOT) and i always let some man hold the veggies whilst i chop with a machete in one hand and a copy of OK magazine in other
Reply #14 Saturday, February 13, 2010 3:28 PM
mutha fuu.... 
Reply #16 Saturday, February 13, 2010 3:42 PM
cheeseberger,cheeseberger,cheesberger, no Coke, Pepsi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
SNL
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Reply #1 Friday, February 12, 2010 8:36 PM
I.R. either went to Starfleet Academy or to The WebGizmos Institute of Higher Learning.
The above 1-7 and Thought For Today illustrate how the lack of common sense can be fixed, and lives simplified...to the point of ending (number 2).
I feel this is an absolutely brilliant post, especially number 3. Think of how much money could be saved, and terrible/dreadful drug side effects be averted!
Thank you for this wisdom, I.R.