To Boldly Go Where No Po Has Gone Before

Tuesday, February 9, 2010 by PoSmedley | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk

So, I have been trying to get W.O.W. installed on my step-sons new PC. It's been rough. Yrag has been a great help. (*note to self - must write a thread on what iit is like the first time you hear the voice of someone you have only texted in forums with for five years)

In doing this, I have been forced to participate in this so called 'game' in order to make it crash or see if I have gotten it right. I have always hated these multi-player-role-playing games. The obsession they bring out in kids. The 'talk'. I really don't care that a level 63 Deathknight has just ripped anyone off of a 1000 pieces of gold. I tell him that he should have gotten the guy to complete the quest with him first and THEN payed him and he just rolls his eyes at me.

And then there is the 'chat' that goes on. How many times can one person call another a 'fucking noob' in five minutes? At least 18. I wanted to explain that I wasn't a fucking noob and didn't mean to keep walking through him. I just wanted to get the game loaded right on my kids PC. But I couldn't figure out how to post.  I'm starting to hate these fucking Deathknights myself. Just who do they think they are?

I ask the boy if he is a Deathknight yet and he says he has two more levels to go. I hope he isn't as stuck up as the ones I have already met. I hope I have instilled better virtues than that in him.

Then I see his pet. A giant bat of somekind. He's in a public market or city where he doesn't need the damn thing hovering around distracting me.

"Why do you have the bat showing?"

"He's my pet."

"Yeah, I know that, but you don't need him here.'

"Yeah, but he's my pet."

"You're just showing off."

"What do you mean?"

"You're just showing off. Bragging. 'Hey! Lookit me! I got so far in this game I have a giant bat that looks really cool (and it does) as a pet."

"Other people have bats."

"Yeah, but you're the only one showing yours off."

"Am not"

"Future-Deathknight-snob"

"What'd you call me?"

"Nuthin. Go away and let me finish."

Yrag I know your laughing.  *Yrag heard a 'dicussion' between me and the boy over the phone. It went like this.

"Okay, bud. Sign off. I need to try something else." (Phone to my ear with Yrag on the other end)

"WHAT? I've only been on for 5 minutes!"

"I need to look at something to see if it's causing the game to crash."

"But I have only been on 5 minutes!!!"

"Dude, please"

"DUDE, PUHLEEZE!"

"Dude.."

"DUUUuuude!"

 ANyway......

Here I am with this giant bat flying around my head. I close it, reopen it and create my own character. Some kind of shaman-troll thing (It looks like a big cow with a pony tail) I suddenly get this whole movie about my race (I picked a cool one) and am automatically on my first quest to collect seven feathers and seven pieces of meat from some wierd blue-emu like birds.

And I can 'zap' the birds or beat them with my walking staff.

Then I fetch some water for the chief.

Then I am killing these pig-like things and collecting their belts. And the boy is behind me. "You have to go through the thorns...there..THERE..GET HIM"

Some fucking noob comes flying up behind me and starts zapping the pig-thing I am trying to kill. "NOOB!!!!"

..................................................

I go to Best Buy that afternoon to look at graphic cards for his PC. (Intergrated 6150se nforce430 pice of crap) I find myslef in the games section. Looking at W.O.W. Then I pick up the box for STar Trek Online. I look at it. Read it. It takes place after Star Trek Next Generation. And you get your own ship. You are the caprtain. And you can DESIGN the ship. You can even make your own aliens. Someone has made a game where I..PoSmedley..can make my own aliens! Fools! I will make an alien that will be so cool that everyone in the STar Trek universe will bow before me and call me Khan. I will be awesome. My ship. Oh! My ship will rule! It will freakin rock the nebulas! I will call myself Captain Smedley..NO..no no no..Captain Po!

I look up from the box. Some kid, about 12 or so is staring at me. He points to a box on the shelf. "THis is the one you want." It's 'Diablo'. I look at it, then at W.O.W.....and then at the one in my hand. :What do you know about this one?" I show him the box.

A voice in the back of my head begins to laugh at me. I tell it to shut up.

It responds.

"Bitten! You're bitten!"

"Shut up!"

"Dude!"

"Duuude?!"

"DUUUU-uuUUde!"

"DUDE!"

"mwahahahahahahahaha..."

 

 

 

First Previous Page 3 of 5 Next Last
Fuzzy Logic
Reply #41 Sunday, February 14, 2010 10:32 AM

Somebody wake me up from this nightmare

DrJBHL
Reply #42 Sunday, February 14, 2010 11:49 AM

ImStein
Reply #43 Sunday, February 14, 2010 12:10 PM

Can't......stop.....laughing......sides....hurting!!!!!!!

 

I love you guys! This is a much needed laugh for me. Though, I do have to say, that recent pic of Cap't Po is a little unsettling. I think I will have to see a therapist for a few years after seeing it. Just so wrong!!!!

 

Cap't Po...did you give in? Are you now designing the star ship of star ships? Are these new aliens you speak of creating going to have us bowing down to you?? Please, I am dying to know. Or are you still having you "DUUuuddde!" conversation with the step-son(although, I do realize that is a forever convo....I do have kids there is no other way to communicate...I swear there isn't!!!!)

Fuzzy Logic
Reply #44 Sunday, February 14, 2010 12:34 PM

 

DrJBHL
Reply #45 Sunday, February 14, 2010 1:12 PM

Here ya go Fuzzy

PoSmedley
Reply #46 Sunday, February 14, 2010 7:50 PM

Cap't Po...did you give in?

It's Captain Chase Christian Buckingham of the USS Longfellow.

DrJBHL
Reply #47 Sunday, February 14, 2010 8:09 PM

Cap't. Po': "Sulu....Kiss me you mad fool!"

PoSmedley
Reply #48 Sunday, February 14, 2010 9:07 PM

Starfleet Command

Stardate -313122.94

 

It is my sad duty to report that Captain Poe was assimilated by the Borg in the Vega System today. It would seem the moron Captain managed to get from Vega 1 to Vega 2 without getting the ships weapons repaired FIRST. For unknown reasons, he was unable to transfer back to Vega 1 to complete the mission that had been assigned to him so he could get his freakin weapons repaired.

He has been replaced by Capt. Chase Christian Buckingham. Capt, Buckingham is a fine officer who managed to make it through Vega 1 and Vega 2 without screwing things up. However, until Capt. Buckingham can find the options to refromat his body, we request that no one makes fun of the beer gut he seems to have aquired through no fault of his own.

That is all.

IROKONESS
Reply #49 Sunday, February 14, 2010 9:18 PM

Not the Cats.........

DrJBHL
Reply #50 Sunday, February 14, 2010 9:28 PM

Actually, wasn't the Borg.....it was the iCrabs of Jobsmac. Came in the window and....well, let's all welcome Cap't. Bucksfordoc.

Fuzzy Logic
Reply #51 Monday, February 15, 2010 2:49 AM

2of3
Reply #52 Monday, February 15, 2010 3:59 AM

it might be that the trolls have taken over, come to think of it which I do I haven't seen Bichur in a while hmmmm one has to wonder

Haven't seen the troll since his last away mission

 

2of3
Reply #53 Monday, February 15, 2010 4:08 AM

It is my sad duty to report that Captain Poe was assimilated by the Borg in the Vega System today.

 

WE ARE THE BORG. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND PREPARE TO BE ASSIMILATED. THE DRONES ZUBATICUS AND ROMANDIOUS WILL ASSIST IN YOUR TRANSITION INTO THE COLLECTIVE.

DrJBHL
Reply #54 Monday, February 15, 2010 6:31 AM

We all know that this horror could never happen to out our Tim (2of3).

He has posted pix before, but they were lies. Yes, I know. Tim doesn't lie, and he's a Master Skinner (a whole new meaning to that, I'm afraid!) ....

But the evil 2of3, Borg Prince would!!!    The ever vigilant Doc has investigated and found the TRUTH!  Protector my toochis!

He's an Assimilator!   

 

*Zubaz, RomanDA: You have been Avenged! Sorry, Zu...can't help the Zubbish.

2of3
Reply #55 Monday, February 15, 2010 6:35 AM

He's an Assimilator!

and you are next

 

 

 

 

resistance is futile

I.R. Brainiac
Reply #56 Monday, February 15, 2010 2:30 PM

Thats some good stuff Po.Fun read.

IROKONESS
Reply #57 Tuesday, February 16, 2010 2:21 AM

What he said.

mrs_starkers
Reply #58 Tuesday, February 16, 2010 4:49 AM

this is so funny

DrJBHL
Reply #59 Tuesday, February 16, 2010 6:04 AM

Dr McCoy will not be abused here!

mrs_starkers
Reply #60 Tuesday, February 16, 2010 6:09 AM

I couldn't help myself

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