To Boldly Go Where No Po Has Gone Before

Tuesday, February 9, 2010 by PoSmedley | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk

So, I have been trying to get W.O.W. installed on my step-sons new PC. It's been rough. Yrag has been a great help. (*note to self - must write a thread on what iit is like the first time you hear the voice of someone you have only texted in forums with for five years)

In doing this, I have been forced to participate in this so called 'game' in order to make it crash or see if I have gotten it right. I have always hated these multi-player-role-playing games. The obsession they bring out in kids. The 'talk'. I really don't care that a level 63 Deathknight has just ripped anyone off of a 1000 pieces of gold. I tell him that he should have gotten the guy to complete the quest with him first and THEN payed him and he just rolls his eyes at me.

And then there is the 'chat' that goes on. How many times can one person call another a 'fucking noob' in five minutes? At least 18. I wanted to explain that I wasn't a fucking noob and didn't mean to keep walking through him. I just wanted to get the game loaded right on my kids PC. But I couldn't figure out how to post.  I'm starting to hate these fucking Deathknights myself. Just who do they think they are?

I ask the boy if he is a Deathknight yet and he says he has two more levels to go. I hope he isn't as stuck up as the ones I have already met. I hope I have instilled better virtues than that in him.

Then I see his pet. A giant bat of somekind. He's in a public market or city where he doesn't need the damn thing hovering around distracting me.

"Why do you have the bat showing?"

"He's my pet."

"Yeah, I know that, but you don't need him here.'

"Yeah, but he's my pet."

"You're just showing off."

"What do you mean?"

"You're just showing off. Bragging. 'Hey! Lookit me! I got so far in this game I have a giant bat that looks really cool (and it does) as a pet."

"Other people have bats."

"Yeah, but you're the only one showing yours off."

"Am not"

"Future-Deathknight-snob"

"What'd you call me?"

"Nuthin. Go away and let me finish."

Yrag I know your laughing.  *Yrag heard a 'dicussion' between me and the boy over the phone. It went like this.

"Okay, bud. Sign off. I need to try something else." (Phone to my ear with Yrag on the other end)

"WHAT? I've only been on for 5 minutes!"

"I need to look at something to see if it's causing the game to crash."

"But I have only been on 5 minutes!!!"

"Dude, please"

"DUDE, PUHLEEZE!"

"Dude.."

"DUUUuuude!"

 ANyway......

Here I am with this giant bat flying around my head. I close it, reopen it and create my own character. Some kind of shaman-troll thing (It looks like a big cow with a pony tail) I suddenly get this whole movie about my race (I picked a cool one) and am automatically on my first quest to collect seven feathers and seven pieces of meat from some wierd blue-emu like birds.

And I can 'zap' the birds or beat them with my walking staff.

Then I fetch some water for the chief.

Then I am killing these pig-like things and collecting their belts. And the boy is behind me. "You have to go through the thorns...there..THERE..GET HIM"

Some fucking noob comes flying up behind me and starts zapping the pig-thing I am trying to kill. "NOOB!!!!"

..................................................

I go to Best Buy that afternoon to look at graphic cards for his PC. (Intergrated 6150se nforce430 pice of crap) I find myslef in the games section. Looking at W.O.W. Then I pick up the box for STar Trek Online. I look at it. Read it. It takes place after Star Trek Next Generation. And you get your own ship. You are the caprtain. And you can DESIGN the ship. You can even make your own aliens. Someone has made a game where I..PoSmedley..can make my own aliens! Fools! I will make an alien that will be so cool that everyone in the STar Trek universe will bow before me and call me Khan. I will be awesome. My ship. Oh! My ship will rule! It will freakin rock the nebulas! I will call myself Captain Smedley..NO..no no no..Captain Po!

I look up from the box. Some kid, about 12 or so is staring at me. He points to a box on the shelf. "THis is the one you want." It's 'Diablo'. I look at it, then at W.O.W.....and then at the one in my hand. :What do you know about this one?" I show him the box.

A voice in the back of my head begins to laugh at me. I tell it to shut up.

It responds.

"Bitten! You're bitten!"

"Shut up!"

"Dude!"

"Duuude?!"

"DUUUU-uuUUde!"

"DUDE!"

"mwahahahahahahahaha..."

 

 

 

First Previous Page 2 of 5 Next Last
HG_Eliminator
Reply #21 Wednesday, February 10, 2010 5:19 PM

sorry my bad.. thought it was ubernoob...   tho I go by the title of (((SUPER NOOB)))  Look.. up in the sky.. its a nerd.. its a geek.. no its SUPERNOOB..

DrJBHL
Reply #22 Wednesday, February 10, 2010 5:38 PM

SUPERNOOB=Pizza Vulture

HG_Eliminator
Reply #23 Wednesday, February 10, 2010 5:43 PM

thats only during the day..

 

DrJBHL
Reply #24 Wednesday, February 10, 2010 5:57 PM

At night? The Mozzarella Marauder.

Wizard1956
Reply #25 Thursday, February 11, 2010 12:16 PM

Delightfully funny story, Po....oops, I mean Captain Noob!

 

mrs_starkers
Reply #26 Thursday, February 11, 2010 11:19 PM

Some kind of shaman-troll thing

 

it might be  that the trolls have taken over, come to think of it which I do I haven't seen Bichur in a while hmmmm one has to wonder

Fuzzy Logic
Reply #27 Friday, February 12, 2010 3:26 AM

Your n00b ass got pwned by a 12 year old -

- welcome to the internet lol

PoSmedley
Reply #28 Friday, February 12, 2010 7:17 AM

Your n00b ass got pwned by a 12 year old -

- welcome to the internet lol

You don't know how old he was!

He could have been 14 or 15...

nobody pwns the Po...

the keyboard wasn't what I was used to, ya know...

 

DrJBHL
Reply #29 Friday, February 12, 2010 7:43 AM

PoSmedley
Your n00b ass got pwned by a 12 year old -

- welcome to the internet lol

You don't know how old he was!

He could have been 14 or 15...

nobody pwns the Po...

the keyboard wasn't what I was used to, ya know...

 

Sure it was a "he"?  

PoSmedley
Reply #30 Friday, February 12, 2010 9:22 AM

Sure it was a "he"?

Are you picking up skinhits slack or what?

PoSmedley
Reply #31 Friday, February 12, 2010 9:37 PM

Captains Log

Stardate -2312882.4

It's calling me like a Borg implant that might be left behind in some poor slob of an ensign. It mocks me.

I have spent an abnormal amount of my time, secluded in my ready room. Trying to resist. To not give in to the temptation.

My first officer is suspicous. I can't let him..the crew..command..know that..I am on the edge of giving in.

'Impulse' they call it. It's nothing more than a 20th century crack habit without the crack. SInging to me. Pulling me in.

I must not give in to the temptation. I would be lost. For hours in pure escapism.

But the galaxies I would see.....the new life forms..the chance to make contact with a new race....

Wait..what is this?!?! A Deluxe digital edition?!?! WIth three uniforms..and..nebulas rising...with Klingon Blood WIne.

Why?!?!? WHY DO YOU TEASE ME?

 

Shhhhhh. The wife just walked in. Nobody say a word.

DrJBHL
Reply #32 Friday, February 12, 2010 9:54 PM

omg.

Are you picking up skinhits slack or what?

that's disgusting. feh.

PoSmedley
Reply #33 Friday, February 12, 2010 10:08 PM

Captains Log

Stardate -2312882.4.3

The ships doctor is acting strange.  Ever since we encountered that rift in the Alpha Quadrant he has been meandering around the bridge like a drunk Ferengi.

He has already offended yeoman Gak with his topless rendition of 'Major Tom' and now insists he must 'vacinate' all the female crewman for Andorian Crotch Rot.

 

PoSmedley
Reply #34 Saturday, February 13, 2010 9:31 PM

Captains Log

Stardate -313120.26

Transmission coming in from unknown source.

I am unbale to stop the ships computer from downloading and installing it.

 

 

*and that's the story I am sticking to

 

Fuzzy Logic
Reply #35 Sunday, February 14, 2010 3:23 AM

Captains Log

Stardate -313128.27

Beamed down for a crap - Kirk out

DrJBHL
Reply #36 Sunday, February 14, 2010 6:27 AM

[insert music: ABBA -Mamma Mia]

Captain (Po') Quirk Revealed!

Stardate 255421.less: While exploring the Nebulous Nebula Capt. Po' Quirk accidently pushed the "Transmit Video" button to Starfleet. [insert "Ooooops...."]

Will The Enterprise ever be the same? Did Captain Po' join Team Twinky?

 

 

PoSmedley
Reply #37 Sunday, February 14, 2010 6:45 AM

Captains Log

Stardate-313121.31

KAHHHHHHNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

DrJBHL
Reply #38 Sunday, February 14, 2010 7:16 AM

PoSmedley
Reply #39 Sunday, February 14, 2010 7:35 AM

DrJBHL
Reply #40 Sunday, February 14, 2010 7:40 AM

.

Please login to comment and/or vote for this skin.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

  • Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums and downloading skins.
  • Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
  • Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
  • It's simple, and FREE!



web-wc01