Government Assistance for People 50 Years and Older
Mature Content...lol
Thursday, January 28, 2010 by RedneckDude | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Government Assistance for People 50 Years and Older
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help after Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Reply #2 Thursday, January 28, 2010 4:28 PM
No shit? 
Reply #3 Thursday, January 28, 2010 4:55 PM
Can I get a side order of lubrication with that! 
Reply #4 Thursday, January 28, 2010 5:16 PM
Being that I work for a Canadian MPP, I'll have to print this and stick it on the wall at work, my co-workers will love it! Actually so will my boss, thanks!
Reply #5 Thursday, January 28, 2010 5:33 PM
ain't that the truth.
Where's Chuck when you need him?
*Chuck doesn't sleep. Chuck waits.
Reply #6 Thursday, January 28, 2010 7:10 PM
a photocopy of this was handed around my office in 1972..... 
.....the only difference is....the AIDS and Herpes has been added 
Reply #7 Thursday, January 28, 2010 7:44 PM
With things always improving, we have sooo much to be thankful for, no?
iMagine Imagine the plagues to come!
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Reply #1 Thursday, January 28, 2010 4:27 PM
All right, and it was in a big font so i could read it too.