The last couple of days have been harsh here in the community, and I want to take the opportunity to formally apologize to anyone I've hurt with my comments. I am aware of the fact that I have days where I'm a colossal bitch; I don't see things logically, maturely, or even correctly--things get messed up in my head as to how I perceive them and how they actually are--the internet makes that worse because it's hard to read tone and inflection into text.
That being said, I will also state that I don't know how to be part of the "in" crowd -- I've never been allowed into those groups. I have always been the black sheep, the misfit, the dork, the outsider, and I'm very comfortable with that group, because they are very accepting, very forgiving when I mess up, and I will always be defensive about those in that group because we are always out numbered, so in order to stay alive we have to watch each other's backs. This friendship that comes with the understanding of what it's like to be one of us, isn't necessarily always loyal, but it IS always loving--it's pretty much like family, you know? Like "we" can talk shit to each other, but we can't let anyone ELSE talk shit on each other.
I STILL think Kitty's skin is Master quality; nobody else does what she does -- she takes her master level and gives it it's own definition. I told her once her style is like if she were the product of the DNA of John William Waterhouse were combined with HR Giger. However, that's just my opinion; other people have their OWN opinions, and they are completely entitled to them. If she died tomorrow, Saboteur would be worth a fortune, not only because the artist is no longer around to create, but because of the conflict that arose out of that very appropriately named WB - it's very, very dark; it's a little bit angry, it splits people and makes them take sides -- it was sabotaged and it sabotaged the community; plain and simple it's lesser magic, and some would do best to stay away from it. Some will say it's crap and what I think about it is crap -- but some never see (can't see) the beauty in the archtype of Lucifer, either. That inability is a sign you might be part of the "in" crowd.
In and out crowd, we all make up this community. Coming here now is a little bit painful, and that frustrates me because this place and my art that has been spawned out of it are my "drug" -- it's my vice, the thing I go to when my cup is empty, and I want to do everything I can to make my drug satisfying again. I'm just a little person -- I haven't done great things, I have nothing to brag about, as a human being I'm mediocre at best -- but for what it's worth, I apologize to everyone who has taken offense to my posts, and my attitude -- I'm sorry. Please accept my humble apology so we can be united again.
Thank you for reading this.
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