What a great mate! 

CCWB StarkerBark has just achieved orbit about the ISS. Shuttle Endeavor is delayed due to heavy ionic activities as a result of StarkerBark expelling copious amount of highly toxic greenish/brown goo into the upper atmosphere. NORAD is tracking the exhalation from the nether regions and is expected to release details on it's expected re-entry sometime after 2 a.m. Aussie time in the vicinity of OZ. Stay tuned for the latest 'breaking' news on this unprecedented eruption.

.noitpure detnedecrpnu siht no 'gnikaerb' tsetal eht rof denut yatS

e-farts. Imagine that. Send your latest smellies over the internet. Oh Jeez

You too Doc.  You're a bonza bloke... as we Aussies say about great mates.

I've been working on that, in conjunction with Yahoo... we hope to have them up and running on all networks and servers very soon. Each e-fart will contain a link to the Curried Cabbage WB as well as smell and sound... though I reccomend that recipients of mine should turn the PC speakers WAAYYY down prior to opening.  We tried in vain to apply volume leveling but could not get below 90 decibels... so either turn down the volume or plug your ears with cotton wool prior to applying industrial grade ear muffs.

Shaunna's me Bonza Mate-ette!    Hope you're jealous, Mark. BTW....when one abbreviates Bonza Mate....one gets B.M. 

Here's a true one:

Now why didn't I think of this???
A Well-Planned Retirement - From The London Times:

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England , there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses. It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars (about $1.40) and coaches (about $7).

This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years. Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work. "Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management - "we'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant . . . "

"Err . . . no", said the Council, "that parking lot is your responsibility."
"Err . . . no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?"
"Err . . . no!" insisted the Council.

Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (presumably), is a man who had been taking the parking lot fees, estimated at (about $560) per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over ($7 million - or $280,000 every year for 25 years)!!! ALL TAX FREE, TOO!!!

And no one even knows his name.

this is the attendant that no-one knows

I told you don't let him out of the cage! Now what we gonna do? He'll run rampant all over OZ with his little iPhone and stuff sending goodness knows how many e-farts to people. This is not good...this is soooo not good.

Hey folks...nice to see ya again.

Recently starkers' 'puter went on the fritz...turned out his mouse died due to the toxic barks.

So, being a Bonza Mate of 'is and 'is lady oi bourght 'im a mouse tha' should last a whoile.

Hey! What about me?

Good on you Doc. I hope it came with lots of flubber suits. They have these new and improved versions.......they're supposed to be reusable. Although I don't know why you'd ever...ugh...want to re-use one.

(Shudders uncontrollably and falls down slobbering)

Nah, weren't me.... must've been a relative.  I once considered opening a curried cabbage kiosk there, but that was thwarted on the first day's business by several animals escaping their enclosures to get at the delicious offering in the car park. Yup, many would-be zoo patrons were scared off by frenzied and ferocious animals. 

Shoot, even the sloth was baring its teeth and running around frantic like it was ready to chew somebody's leg off... though I think the turning point was when one of the lions ate a keeper and a couple of gazelles to shorten the queue in front of it.

Um, like I don't have an iPhone... don't need one, well not to ditribute eFarts.  Nope, eFarts are pre-programmed to follow the airwaves, trade winds and natural breezes until they're in the vicinity of the intended recipient's moblie phone, where it is released in all its glory upon verification of the recipient's number.

Ain't technolergy grand... and it saves having to pay mobile providers conveyancing fees.

Yeah, and it came at a pretty penny, I'll tell ya!  Yup, it's one of the HAZMAT mouses and is so expensive because it is covered with a starkerbark resistant polymer that, while still in its experimental/developmental stage, is impervious to C4 blasts, which was considered as essential to countering "second helping" starkerbarks.

Yeah, I've heard about those re-usable ones.  Trouble is, because they're skin-tight and have to be peeled off (much like a condom, I guess), they are sometimes re-used inside out and wearers have been overcome by the lingering results of previous starkerbarks.  So yeah, they need a little more work before they are considered safe.

     As safe as a re-usable condom can be?? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (split-a-gut type laugh). Better to re-up the sub for flubber suits ha ha ha ( a mini split-a-gut type). Flubber suits don't have to be peeled off per se...just deflate them very very slowly. you don't want the bark escaping too loudly. Noise pollution laws being what they are. Probably should invest in one of them new-fangled Bose headphone thingies. But then again starkerbarks are pretty downright insidious to the point of fatal in some areas of the world that don't have sufficiently superior technologies to overcome the smell and/or the BLAST!

     Here's to all those who aren't protected. Tuck tail and run! OR...tuck your head between your kness and kiss your tushies goodbye 'cause starkerbarks are on the warpath.

But keep in mind of those less fortunate that have to be around when this does happen......ooooohhhhhh poor me

Now that there could just be the final blow.... presure on the abs from bending over like that could force a virulent colon cough of their own, thus resulting in a catsastrophe, if they've been sampling curried cabbage.

now all we need is for some one to take up another challenge and do another window blind  for  the muslie bark

I'd rather dig for opals at the height of summer! 

I know exactly where you're coming from, Doc!  Having experienced the muesli bark first-hand and noting to to be decidedly more raucous than the curried cabbage bark, I can sympathise with your sentiment entirely...

... but me thinks I'll dig during Winter.

OMG, as it is now you complain about your artharitis and pains, I am no doctor but  my guess is that it would make things worse ooooh the pain

                                                                          MUSLIE BARK?!?!?!

     Curried Cabbage produces starkerbarks most furious. Should the two ever combine..................

Stop the universe!.............I want to get off...........

BTW...are there opals on Iapetus???

No bloody way... the two of 'em together is capable of creating 'black holes'... hehe, but I stiil indulge occasionally.

.

Add some vegemite to the mix of muslie and cabbage, and you might get a bark with the sticking power to compete wiith Spiderman's webs.