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And That's When the Fight Started...
Friday, January 16, 2009 by Philly0381 | Discussion: Community
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
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Reply #3 Friday, January 16, 2009 3:23 PM
Philly!!!!
A man staggered into the casualty department of a hospital, he had severe concussion, two black eyes, multiple bruising and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asked him "What happened to you?"
The man managed to croak..."Well, my wife and I were having a quiet round of golf, we were playing the eighth..., a difficult hole at the best of times....., anyway, we both sliced our balls into a field full of cattle. We went to look for them and as we were walking round, I noticed that one of the cows had something white at it's rear end. I went over, lifted it's tail, and sure enough there was a golf ball with my wife's initials on it....stuck right in the centre of the cow's f***y.
Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife "Hey this looks like yours! "
And then the fight started....
=============================================================
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it, honey?"
And that's when the fight started....
Reply #11 Saturday, January 17, 2009 12:55 PM
Reply #12 Saturday, January 17, 2009 1:03 PM
Husband buys his wife the sheerest of see-through negligees and hands it to her on their 20th anniversary.
She goes into the bathroom to put it on but thinks it better to skip the formalities and get straight
into the sex, so goes back into the bedroom stark naked instead.
"Damn!!!" he said.
"What's wrong, dear?" she replied.
"After spending 80 bucks on a negligee, you'd expect they'd iron out all the wrinkles before wrapping it!"
... And that's when the fight started. 
Reply #13 Saturday, January 17, 2009 1:07 PM
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
Order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
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My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her Not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And then the fight started.....
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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and
screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
Reply #14 Saturday, January 17, 2009 1:54 PM
'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' LOL
Reply #17 Sunday, January 18, 2009 12:00 AM
Husband doesn't recognise what's on his dinner plate so asks what the hell it is.
Wife replies: "It's beef stew."
'Oh, that's alright, then, I thought somebody had spilled the garbage on my plate!"
And that's when the fight started.
Reply #18 Sunday, January 18, 2009 12:21 AM
starkers, was that a quote from an actual conversation with mrs starkers? 
Reply #19 Sunday, January 18, 2009 2:10 AM
Nope, no way would I say a thing like that to my darling... apart from not wanting to get ALL my own meals in future, I'd have a hard time explaining "and that's how the fight started" at the ER, what with the meal and plate wedged firmly in my mouth all at once.
Reply #20 Sunday, January 18, 2009 2:19 AM
LMAO!!!!
Yes, knocking a woman's cooking isn't a wise thing to do 
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Reply #1 Friday, January 16, 2009 3:03 PM