This tops ALL those silly pics in both relevance and timelyness

Happy farting Christmas from Florida !  

http://www.livevideo.com/video/58BC7DE30EF1485BB56C98964B4CA323/holiday-ambiance.aspx

btw.. my Mum sent it to me

Awesome hehe, cracked me up

Yup... yesterday's and today's... all at once. Or was that today's, yesterday's and tomorrow's? 

Hey there, V, merry Christmas to you, too. 

That clip is pretty funny, hey... and at long last I have an answer as to why my Chrissy presents always had 'that' funny smell about them.

Have you ever farted so loudly, that you've woken yourself up? perhaps.. scared the cats into leaving home,  possibly blown a hole through the wall, as well as the Ozone Layer, and blasted your kid across the street into the neighbours house, or another dimension?

[Wait.. that sounds like I'm speaking from experience ]

Yeah, I've woken myself up many a time and wondered where the roof/ceiling had gone... thus leaving me extremely worried that the walls might cave in should I have an 'aftershock'  As for scaring the cats into leaving home, well I don't have any these days, but if I did I'm sure they's prefer to be 'outside' cats... and preferably outside somebody else's place.  And my kids caught on at an early age how to avoid being blown into another galaxy... in another universe, they use weighted diving boots a slippers.

Well let's put it this way, there is too much detailed information for there not to be some... er, a lot of 'experience'.

Ah, so you're another one of those "ROVER, Get out from under the table" people, hey TG?

No way, I'm the one that smacks the person next to me and says -->HOW COULD YOU!

That's the one... blame the person next door.  CLASSIC!!!

THE FART CHART

 

* AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart 

* AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts 

* ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private 

* AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes 

* ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times 

* BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others 

* BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others 

* CARELESS : Farts in church 

* CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles 

* CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time 

* CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest 

* CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go 

* CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating 

* DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head 

* DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog 

* DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell 

* DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own 

* ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution 

* FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours 

* FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts 

* GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart *HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason 

* IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs 

* LAZY : Just fizzles 

* MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles 

* MISERABLE : Can't fart at all 

* MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell 

* NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart 

* PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant 

* SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers 

* SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts 

* SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying 

* SHY : Blushes when he farts silently 

* SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear 

* SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present 

* SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog 

* STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole 

* STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter 

* THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve 

* TIMID : Jumps when he farts 

* UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself 

* VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart 

* WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion 

* WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit

lol Doc, where do you find this stuff!!

He doesn't find this stuff... he's done most, if not all those farts he listed... and not surprisingly, he deliberately left some off for fear of losing patients...

* MD:  bowel burp caused by drinking to much medicinal alcohol

* Rumbler:  this is the one he listens to with his stethoscope all the way down.

* Forceps: this one needs a lttle help to come into the World.

* ENT: this one reddens your nose, nearly bursts your eardrums and leaves a fearful lump in the throat.

Not to worry, Doc, your secret is safe with us. 

So it's more of a thesus, a self study eh Doc?

Sad, but true.

Sad, but no....it's actually from studying an Oz transplanted Pommy....you might be aquainted with...

SKIPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Da bush kangaroo

Da bush starkaroo!

Or.. Stinkaroo

Heheheee!  Geez, how I loves you good people.  What started out as a pirate joke over here has taken on a whole new life of its own, thanks to you two, Ed and others.  

Funnily enough, while I like curried cabbage, I'm not so sure it actually is the methane menace I've made it out to be.  It's just that mrs starkers was boiling up cabbage to go with a roast pork that night, and I thought: "pheeew, that's on the nose!", and by thinking curry powder I came up with this potent concoction in my mind to fit right in with the subject material... and fit right in it did.  Hehe!

In reality, however, I think muesli does produce trouser coughs extraordinaire!  Whenever I have muesli I'll be ferociously 'butt barking' like a mad dog the next day/later that evening.  I like muesli!  Naturally, then, when I want some, mrs starkers tells me to go get it myself... hoping, of course, that I'm too lazy to get up and get it.

Damn.. I love muesli <------------- that smiley look constipated to you?