Retirement Bonus

Navy Style

Monday, October 27, 2008 by WebGizmos | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk

If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!


The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.

The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.  But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did.
 
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.

 

 

'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'

 

 

The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam '

First Previous Page 1 of 2 Next Last
Hankers
Reply #1 Monday, October 27, 2008 11:24 AM

BigDogBigFeet
Reply #2 Monday, October 27, 2008 11:36 AM

messiah1
Reply #3 Monday, October 27, 2008 11:39 AM

    Thanks Giz, I needed that.

Philly0381
Reply #4 Monday, October 27, 2008 11:58 AM

 

WebGizmos
Reply #5 Monday, October 27, 2008 12:06 PM

I thought that was funny as hell!

Mirsguy
Reply #6 Monday, October 27, 2008 12:06 PM

WOM
Reply #7 Monday, October 27, 2008 12:07 PM

Crap, now that is priceless.

DrJBHL
Reply #8 Monday, October 27, 2008 12:13 PM

           Man oh man.....Great on a gloomy Monday! Thanks!

Wizard1956
Reply #9 Monday, October 27, 2008 1:03 PM

That's funny right there,I don't care who you are!

seldomseen
Reply #10 Monday, October 27, 2008 1:18 PM

Yeah, that's a ripper! Thanks, WG!

Lantec
Reply #11 Monday, October 27, 2008 1:36 PM

 

I think I served with that guy.....grizzly old Chief with a real high pitched voice........

WebGizmos
Reply #12 Monday, October 27, 2008 1:39 PM

I think I served with that guy.....grizzly old Chief with a real high pitched voice........

ArileenDesign
Reply #13 Monday, October 27, 2008 1:43 PM

angus1949
Reply #14 Monday, October 27, 2008 3:07 PM

 

mjbisme
Reply #15 Monday, October 27, 2008 3:20 PM

Excellent. I'll be forwarding this one.       Thanks.

Xiandi
Reply #16 Tuesday, October 28, 2008 12:38 AM

HG_Eliminator
Reply #17 Tuesday, October 28, 2008 1:10 AM

hehe

angus1949
Reply #18 Tuesday, October 28, 2008 5:43 PM

Crap, I just realized by doing it the old Chief's way, I'd only get $1500.00.  Somethin' is a real shame there.

XX
Reply #19 Tuesday, October 28, 2008 8:12 PM

 

Funny!

 

angus1949 You can add a few thousand bucks if you do it correctly...

jpmurph1
Reply #20 Tuesday, October 28, 2008 8:31 PM

Looks like one mighty fine check coming his way LOL

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