When Grandma Goes To Court
Friday, March 14, 2008 by Philly0381 | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Just another little something I received in an email yesterday, enjoy. 
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs, You think your're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was you wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows, me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
Not sure if this is a true event, but wouldn't it be just funny if this really happened.
Reply #4 Friday, March 14, 2008 12:44 PM
Sounds true to me. Thanks
Reply #5 Friday, March 14, 2008 1:03 PM
Sounds true to me. Thanks
I live in Mississippi...it wouldn't surprise me at all.
Reply #7 Friday, March 14, 2008 1:43 PM
Oh, I corrected it.
Reply #10 Friday, March 14, 2008 10:27 PM
Need to start a TGIF fun thread with jokes and other stuff. Maybe put a warning up "not for the weak or weary" or something...?
Reply #12 Saturday, March 15, 2008 10:06 AM
dinner, Bill says to John: Well John, I don't know what you think
of
the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant.
"How do you know?" asks John
"Oh well, it's simple", says Bill. "They all have to take special
tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second". He calls
Madeleine Albright over and says to her "Tell me Madeleine, who is
the
child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is
not your sister?"
"Ah, that's simple Mr. President", says Madeleine, "it is
me!" Well done Madeleine, says Clinton and John Howard is very
impressed.
John Howard returns to Canberra and wonders about the intelligence of
the members of his Cabinet. He calls in Tim Fisher and says: Tim,
tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is
not
your brother and is not your sister?
Tim thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. Can I think about
it a bit further John? May I let you know tomorrow?
Of course, says Howard, you've got 24 hours.
Tim Fisher goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his team but
no-one knows the answer. 20 hours later, Tim is very worried - still
no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually Tim Fisher says
"I'll ask Peter Costello, he's clever, he'll know the answer."
He calls Costello. Peter, he says, tell me who is the child of your
father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your
sister?
"Very simple", says Peter, "it's me!" "Of course" says Tim and rings
John
Howard.
"John", says Tim, "I've got the answer: it's Peter Costello".
"No you idiot", says Howard, "it's Madeleine Albright".
Reply #13 Saturday, March 15, 2008 10:29 AM
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Reply #1 Friday, March 14, 2008 10:23 AM